Lovey661 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now and I feel like I’m settling.. is this normal? I’ve been feeling like this for almost 2 years now. He did things in the beginning of our relationship that were questionable BUT he has changed and I see it.. but why do I keep feeling miserable with him. I love him and he loves me.. he’s a nice guy too but why am I feeling like this.. is it normal?? Has anyone felt like that before??? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Why do you feel miserable with him? And what things about him make you love him? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 We really need a bit more info before we can draw any conclusions 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovey661 Posted March 25, 2018 Author Share Posted March 25, 2018 I just feel miserable. Like dead inside. When we’re together it’s rare when we fight. I feel it most when we’re not together. I think it has to do with his past and a couple of things he’s done in our relationship. But if I chose to forgive him and move on, why do I still feel like that. I love him cause he’s a gentleman and he’s nice to me. He’s a good person and I see myself marrying him one day but I can’t keep ignoring this feeling Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 (edited) Is this the history you're referring to? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/651972-i-need-am-i-overreacting I think the advice you received on this post is still highly relevant. I mostly agree with the poster who said you should look for a relationship which brings you joy. Edited March 25, 2018 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovey661 Posted March 25, 2018 Author Share Posted March 25, 2018 I just have this feeling like I shouldn’t be with him, but I’m torn cause I’m in love with him and I see myself having kids and marriage with him.. I’m sorry if I’m not making any sense. I don’t know how to explain this feeling Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 I just have this feeling like I shouldn’t be with him, but I’m torn cause I’m in love with him and I see myself having kids and marriage with him.. I’m sorry if I’m not making any sense. I don’t know how to explain this feeling My best guess is that you tell yourself you still love him because you know that's how you're supposed to feel. But deep down, you don't truly love him and are yet to allow yourself to delve into those feelings. When you find a person who's right for you, you won't have all these sad feelings about being in the relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 (edited) Normal is a loaded word. You feel what you feel. There's no wrong way to feel. As the saying goes, you can't live on love alone. If something has been nagging at you for 2 years that he's not The One, get out of the relationship. Things aren't going to magically get better because you married. Having kids will make it all worse. I suspect these feelings are your instincts telling you that something is wrong. Listen. Your other post was all about some very serious things that were wrong. At this point I think you are both confusing the longevity of you knowing each other & sentimentality for love. It's not love. It's fear of change & the comfort of the familiar. Just 'cause you went to HS together does not mean you should marry. Edited March 25, 2018 by d0nnivain 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Guildford Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Almost three years is enough time to know if you want to marry someone, and in this case you do not want to marry him. You have spent enough time on this relationship, and it is time to move on to the next. I assume that you eventually want to get married and raise a family, well you should set a time-limit on any relationship to see if the relationship is working and you are going to get a marriage proposal. I have seen a number of posts where a couple have been in a relationship for years, it is not leading to marriage and the woman realizes that she has missed the chance to marry young and have children. Gently terminate this relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 The first year definitely the honeymoon phase. It seems you have gotten out of that phase into something more serious. Try to ways to spice things up. It's nice to have a good man around, those r hard to find. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 The first year definitely the honeymoon phase. It seems you have gotten out of that phase into something more serious. Try to ways to spice things up. It's nice to have a good man around, those r hard to find. But he is not a good man. During the HM phase he cheated on her with prostitutes & showed his buddies nude photos of the OP. Recently he's been actively seeking out transgender people for cybersex. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Sounds like you do not admire him, and rightfully so in my opinion after reading your other thread. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 But he is not a good man. During the HM phase he cheated on her with prostitutes & showed his buddies nude photos of the OP. Recently he's been actively seeking out transgender people for cybersex. You haven't gotten past it, even that's what you're making yourself believe. You probably love him but know deep down, he's not the right one for you. In fact, you don't know if he's 'changed', either. You're not together 24/7. Most people don't and when they do, it only appears so on the surface. What you get is what you get. He's betrayed you, he's an STD waiting to happen, and you're telling yourself you could see yourself married to him? I really don't understand this. I think you're trying to make yourself settle which points to self esteem issues. Better address those before they ruin your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Hi Lovey, with the kind of description you have given of your relationship, I get the feeling that your gut is screaming at you that this relationship is wrong. The gut is never wrong. You'd better heed it and exit this relationship as fast ad you can. You have been given a lot of good advice by experienced people on this forum. Ignore them at your peril. Warm wishes. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 (edited) Hi Lovey, with the kind of description you have given of your relationship, I get the feeling that your gut is screaming at you that this relationship is wrong. The gut is never wrong. You'd better heed it and exit this relationship as fast ad you can. You have been given a lot of good advice by experienced people on this forum. Ignore them at your peril. Warm wishes. This, absolutely. The consensus has been almost unanimous. This relationship is not fulfilling to you and it has the potential to cause you great harm. Ignore our advice and stay at your own peril. Edited March 25, 2018 by BaileyB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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