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My wife is being really weird


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I’m really confused sorry for such a long post but i really need advice . Me and my wife have been married for 2 years and been dating for 6 years. When we first met we was casually dating nothing serious and i asked her how did she feel about a 3 sum with another girl she declined . Later on in relationship she told me she Almost blocked me and stopped talking to me because i asked . She said she has stop talking to guys because they asked . She also has a Bestfriend and they known each other for awhile one day i made a joke that they prolly eat each other out when i say she went off !!!

 

Omg she let me have it and said don’t ever disrespect her like that again. She is funny about things like that for instance i asked can we go to hooters before and she cussed me out and said no she’s not about to be around woman who degrade themselves. She also told me b4 we got married if i have a Bachelor party with strippers the wedding is off . She broke up with me when she found out i went to strip club in past . Also she told me she had a friend when she was around 19 and the girl grabbed her butt in a joking manner and she cut ties off with her. Last example i remember a couple years ago we was talking about swingers and stuff she was so disgusted by it and shunned woman who would participate in such acts but I’ll say over last year like we would see stuff her n there about swingers and she just don’t seem disgusted any more .

 

She is open to it i can tell she will never admit it i know my wife and since she was so against in past she will never go back on how she was ( sorry for such long post )

Now here’s why I’m confused about a hour ago we was talking about sex she said she wants to try new things .. so she said she wanted to **** me in VIP room of strip club that is really weird seeing as how she is such Against strippers. She asked would be alone i said yes and then i said if a stripper was n there we would have to pay so i said i wanna see one eat ur ass and she is ok with it. Now some guys reading this would be excited and maybe i would if she wasn’t so against it. It’s just really bothering me why is she so open to this now and i will be honest about why.

 

I am very insecure about my penis size now my wife and i have talked about this and she said frankly she wouldn’t have two kids and marry somebody if she wasn’t satisfied with their sex and penis size . Other females rave about my sex n pAst but it’s like the really pretty girl who thinks she ugly 823883872 men can tell her she’s pretty if within her self she don’t feel pretty she will not think so I’m the same way with me penis size. The last couple times we had sex was really great she’s text me At work like Last night was amazing . But honestly I’m thinking i don’t satisfy her and maybe that’s why she is so open to stuff she’s always been against .

 

I know I’m probably over thinking due to my insecure ways but it’s really weird right ? I’m also thinking maybe she cheated and did this stuff with another guy and wants to try with me now smh i know i shouldn’t think like this but she usually stands firm on stuff and to see her like this is really weird and honestly kind of disturbing what do u guys think

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The only one who can answer this for you is her. I suspect that after 6 years of you pressuring her to "walk on the wild side" she has probably devised this as something she can tolerate to make you happy. Yet, her you are looking a gift horse in the mouth.

 

It seems that she had very rigid views on sex but has since mellowed. She is probably fearful that after 2 kids you are thinking about dumping her for somebody who will fulfill your fantasies so she's trying.

 

I suspect that between your insecurities & her hang ups once you introduce third parties into this in any fashion, your marriage will crumble. It takes incredible self confidence & tremendous amounts of trust to survive sex with more than one person.

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The only one who can answer this for you is her. I suspect that after 6 years of you pressuring her to "walk on the wild side" she has probably devised this as something she can tolerate to make you happy. Yet, her you are looking a gift horse in the mouth.

 

It seems that she had very rigid views on sex but has since mellowed. She is probably fearful that after 2 kids you are thinking about dumping her for somebody who will fulfill your fantasies so she's trying.

 

I suspect that between your insecurities & her hang ups once you introduce third parties into this in any fashion, your marriage will crumble. It takes incredible self confidence & tremendous amounts of trust to survive sex with more than one person.

 

donnivain is so on the money. A marriage is for two, not three.

I have seen too many marriages end from doing this. I know

yours will fail as well. Danger Will Robinson. Danger.

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Are you working now? And are you and your wife now living on your own?

 

How old are both of you?

 

We are both 29 and if u remember my situation from older post i am working me and her arent living together just yet but we are moving to Atlanta soon

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The only one who can answer this for you is her. I suspect that after 6 years of you pressuring her to "walk on the wild side" she has probably devised this as something she can tolerate to make you happy. Yet, her you are looking a gift horse in the mouth.

 

It seems that she had very rigid views on sex but has since mellowed. She is probably fearful that after 2 kids you are thinking about dumping her for somebody who will fulfill your fantasies so she's trying.

 

I suspect that between your insecurities & her hang ups once you introduce third parties into this in any fashion, your marriage will crumble. It takes incredible self confidence & tremendous amounts of trust to survive sex with more than one person.

 

 

I never once asked her to walk on wild side or do anything like this , that’s why it’s so weird to me and honestly i don’t think i want to do it

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Sometimes when wives/gfs want to try new things sexually, it's bc they're having an affair. Their flawed logic is that since they're sexing you up, they're not as guilty with what they're doing.

 

It might bear investigating.

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I never once asked her to walk on wild side or do anything like this

 

Doesn't this qualify?

 

When we first met we was casually dating nothing serious and i asked her how did she feel about a 3 sum with another girl she declined .

 

Now you'll probably say it doesn't count because you were just dating at the time, but I'd guess she got a pretty clear picture of where your interests lie.

 

She doesn't sound like the right person for that lifestyle, present attempts to accommodate you included...

 

Mr. Lucky

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Sometimes when wives/gfs want to try new things sexually, it's bc they're having an affair. Their flawed logic is that since they're sexing you up, they're not as guilty with what they're doing.

 

It might bear investigating.

 

My point that’s what I’m thinking

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I guess I'm old school, but I don't see where you can do too much more damage to sabotage your relationship with her. Some of the things you have said would have caused my wife to hit me with a baseball bat. She has pretty much told you she isn't interested in threesomes, girl on girl, etc...but you continue to bombard her with the suggestions. Are you trying to mold her in your image of a wife? Sorry but it bothers me to see a potentially good relationship screwed up by a fantasy. Don't get me wrong. Fantasies are great and fun when BOTH partners agree. I do wish you well.

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I never once asked her to walk on wild side or do anything like this , that’s why it’s so weird to me and honestly i don’t think i want to do it

 

 

Maybe you didn't ask but you talked about it. Early on when you were dating, you asked how she felt about a threesome. Later you accused her of having a lesbian relationship with her BFF. She is aware that you have been to strip clubs. You discussed the concept of swingers with her. When she recently mentioned wanted to have sex with you in a strip club, you replied by saying you want the stripper to perform a form of oral sex on your wife.

 

You bring up these kinky subjects so often, she really thinks you want this.

 

While I don't remember your situation from earlier you are not presently living with your wife. That will undermine most relationships. Hence, it's even more reason to think she's offering up kinky stuff you have mentioned or hinted at in the past because she's desperate to hand on to her.

 

Yow two really need to work on your communication if you honestly claim to not understand where this is coming from. I seriously doubt she's having an affair but I suspect she's terrified you are or that you want to find a wilder woman.

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I guess I'm old school, but I don't see where you can do too much more damage to sabotage your relationship with her. Some of the things you have said would have caused my wife to hit me with a baseball bat. She has pretty much told you she isn't interested in threesomes, girl on girl, etc...but you continue to bombard her with the suggestions. Are you trying to mold her in your image of a wife? Sorry but it bothers me to see a potentially good relationship screwed up by a fantasy. Don't get me wrong. Fantasies are great and fun when BOTH partners agree. I do wish you well.

 

 

 

No that’s the thing . I mentioned something years ago before i even really dated her yesterday it was her. Idea to have sex in a strip club she told me she wanted to do it. I wouldn’t dare ask her that because how she was in past when she found out i want that’s why it’s resllt weird to see her act like this

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somanymistakes

So, you liked making suggestions that you knew she would think were gross in order to upset her.

 

And now when she's not being upset, that bothers you because you figure something's wrong?

 

Well, maybe something has changed for her but it doesn't sound like your relationship was entirely healthy to start with.

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My wife started getting weird. She was a virgin until 19 and I was the only person she had sex with. Did not want to try anything new as sex itself was new to her. Then she started to ask her girlfriends to join us in bed even though I never asked for a threesome. She said yes when friends asked if we would like to wife swap. She also got into soft swinging and had a foursome with her best friend and husband.

 

I started to think that now that she knew what sex was all about that I no longer sexually pleased her even though we had sex almost daily and she had very intense orgasms in a matter of minutes. Then her best friend got divorced and came to live with us for a few months until she could find a place to live that she could afford.

 

Long story short, we had a threesome and formed a poly triad with her girlfriend that lasted most of our 45 years of marriage. My wife needed both a man and a woman in her life.

 

Like your wife, mine would get upset if I talked about sex or what we did. She was trying to fool herself. Now she no longer gets upset if I tell her what she is or what she did. She still will not tell anyone but at least she admits it to herself. I know how you feel but do not jump to conclusions. My penis is average and yet I had over 30 sex partners and lived with two women for most of my adult life. They all had great orgasms and loved having sex with me. The porn industry has many men thinking they are inadequate because they hire guys with large penises and stories are all about women who need large ones when in fact, most prefer an average sized one.

 

I do not think you will be able to do your stripper thing because sex is not allowed in a strip club and the stripper will be fired and the club will be fined or lose their license. My family owned three clubs and I worked in two of them.

 

Sex does become boring in a marriage. Most of us go through this. We always found a way to spice it up with a new fetish or playing with others as a couple. We still do that in our 60's.

 

I believe that great communication makes for great sex. Most people are shy about talking about sex with someone they are doing all sorts of intimate things to. That does not make sense. You can perform oral on her but cannot talk about sex???? Trust me, knowing what each other's likes will improve your sex life.

 

All you need to do is be honest with each other as I was just today with my wife and solved by trying a new fetish.

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My wife started getting weird. She was a virgin until 19 and I was the only person she had sex with. Did not want to try anything new as sex itself was new to her. Then she started to ask her girlfriends to join us in bed even though I never asked for a threesome. She said yes when friends asked if we would like to wife swap. She also got into soft swinging and had a foursome with her best friend and husband.

 

I started to think that now that she knew what sex was all about that I no longer sexually pleased her even though we had sex almost daily and she had very intense orgasms in a matter of minutes. Then her best friend got divorced and came to live with us for a few months until she could find a place to live that she could afford.

 

Long story short, we had a threesome and formed a poly triad with her girlfriend that lasted most of our 45 years of marriage. My wife needed both a man and a woman in her life.

 

Like your wife, mine would get upset if I talked about sex or what we did. She was trying to fool herself. Now she no longer gets upset if I tell her what she is or what she did. She still will not tell anyone but at least she admits it to herself. I know how you feel but do not jump to conclusions. My penis is average and yet I had over 30 sex partners and lived with two women for most of my adult life. They all had great orgasms and loved having sex with me. The porn industry has many men thinking they are inadequate because they hire guys with large penises and stories are all about women who need large ones when in fact, most prefer an average sized one.

 

I do not think you will be able to do your stripper thing because sex is not allowed in a strip club and the stripper will be fired and the club will be fined or lose their license. My family owned three clubs and I worked in two of them.

 

Sex does become boring in a marriage. Most of us go through this. We always found a way to spice it up with a new fetish or playing with others as a couple. We still do that in our 60's.

 

I believe that great communication makes for great sex. Most people are shy about talking about sex with someone they are doing all sorts of intimate things to. That does not make sense. You can perform oral on her but cannot talk about sex???? Trust me, knowing what each other's likes will improve your sex life.

 

All you need to do is be honest with each other as I was just today with my wife and solved by trying a new fetish.

 

 

Thank you so much this really helped me . And i believe she wants to spice things up. We been talking about this all day i think now she just wanna a do sum girl on girl and is scared to tell me but i won’t over think just let it happen maybe she is finding herself sexually i just want to please her

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my guess is that, without even realizing it your jokes and innuendoes have made her think she's going to lose you if she doesn't ramp up her game and do things she isn't interested in just to make you happy.

 

If you want to find out how she really feels, talk to her.Let her know that, no matter what her answers are, you have no intention of going elsewhere for sex and if she is interested in exploring, you are more than willing to let her be in the driver's seat.

 

If her sudden change is due to fear of losing you, you'll know that and can reassure her. If it's based on something else, the conversation can help to lay a foundation of trust, which will stand you both in good stead while you "broaden your horizons".

 

Whatever you do, don't make her feel that she has to do things she doesn't really want to because she'll lose you. that's cruel ( i'm not saying you would do that on purpose, just that it can happen inadvertently)

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happyhusband0005

I I have some experience with this. My wife and I met as teenagers, got married in our twenties and have now been married 16 years and have 2 kids. At the start of our relationship through college my wife was very prude. But in her early thirties she began to get much more sexual and began to notice she was more and more attracted to women. At 35 she suggested we got to a strip club together and did the research and decided we should go to Montreal because clubs there allow full contact, meaning you can touch the girls. Well we went up there for a weekend and went to the club. After an hour and a half of a private lap dance in which my wife also ended up topless my wife and the stripper decided she should come to our hotel when she finished at the club. She did and we had a threesome. We have gotten more into the lifestyle now and sometimes play alone.

 

Now here's some reality. If both women are really into women the threesome is not all that fun for the guy because you are primarily ignored.

 

So this could be just a change of point of view from your wife or maybe she is giving into your pressure which I promise will end very horribly. I have met enough people in the lifestyle to tell you with certainty when people get into stuff and one is not really that into it ALWAYS ends badly. Always.

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BarbedFenceRider

I don't think you are being honest with yourself as well as us. You said you met her by asking for a 3some and then throughout the relationship, you have dropped little hints about swinging and porn style sex.

 

You did not just all of a sudden have her bring up the stripper thing... Do you guys normally attend stripper joints on nights out? What is your date night entail normally?

 

I agree that some said that she might feel pressure to "amp" things up to please you. Though, she might be despising it. Be very careful. "A woman scorned" and all...

 

I also think that for her to come out of the blue is very suspicious...I would be putting my head on a swivel since you have opened the door to this in the first place.

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