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Wow! H sure went out of his way to lie to me!


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 15th March 2018, 10:55 AM   #1
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Wow! H sure went out of his way to lie to me!

So I know you'll get a kick out of this! So H came down with a cough on Sunday. A cough. Monday he was still coughing. That was his day off, but I knew what was coming because he stretches everything out to several days off of work whether he is sick or not. Tuesday he didn't go in because he said he felt "icky", yet I get home and the cough had subsided and he seemed fine to me. He tells me on Tuesday night that he's going to go play guitar with his 2 coworkers at the guy's jam room on Wednesday after work. So I assume he's going to work, right? Wrong! I message him around noon yesterday and confirm with him that he's going to play after work. He tells me yes. I then ask him if the guy who he hates who is supposed to be hired back in parts with him, has started yet. He tells me "He's popped in a couple of times but nothing "official" yet". Well that had "big fat lie" written all over it! Why would the guy "pop in a couple of times" just for kicks and not be working there?? Plus he popped in a couple of times yesterday? Because that's the only day you've been there! Add to that that he wasn't on Facebook much (is on all the time at work because he's bored), hadn't checked his email at all (never checks it at home and always at work--yes I check his email to see if he's looked at his messages) and didn't get his check to deposit pretty much solidified he wasn't at work. Oh and what also clued me in to him not being at work is our phone account shows him texting several times with the guy from work he was playing guitar with so why would he be texting him if they are both at work 20 feet from each other??

But the best is yet to come! I leave work early because I have an appt. near our house. I have to drive by our subdivision to get to the appt so about 4:15 I drive about a block away from the house, since I didn't want to drive right by it, to just take a peek and see if his truck is there and I can see it's parked out front. Busted! He doesn't ever get home from work until around 7PM. I get done with my appt and get home at 5:15 and wouldn't you know it, the truck is gone! He made sure to leave before he thought I'd be home but he didn't know I left work early so I could have popped home at 4:15 and surprised him. AND on our porch sits an Amazon package that was delivered, according to our account, at 1:31PM!! So he brought the package inside but didn't open it, and then put it back out on the porch before he left so there'd be no clue he was home! He even came home in his work shirt, his backpack and in his backpack he took out a dirty tupperware container that he took with him that had leftovers in it to make it look like that was his lunch! Wow! I look at his phone when I get home when he is in the shower and he had actually asked the guy who he played guitar with to pick up his check for him! So he's playing guitar with two guys from work, but isn't actually at work and these guys have no problem with him not being there AND pick up his check for him??!!


Meanwhile, I came down with a cold on Monday, yet I've been to work everyday. And when I got home last night I mowed the yard, cleaned the house, did some laundry! Yet he can't make it to work with a cough and I'm sure he is telling his manager that the cough turned into the bronchitis which turned into the flu so he'll be out all week!! Every time work starts sucking for him he does this. He doesn't want this guy to come back and work with him so he's upset and deals with it by not going to work for a week with a fake illness. Says he's going to look for another job, but barely puts any effort into it.
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Old 15th March 2018, 11:01 AM   #2
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Hope he doesn't get fired for his lack of a worth ethic.

How are you so sure the Amazon package was brought in and put back out? Maybe he just never brought it in.

What did he say when you told him you knew he didn't go to work?
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Old 15th March 2018, 11:03 AM   #3
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Hope he doesn't get fired for his lack of a worth ethic.

How are you so sure the Amazon package was brought in and put back out?
She probably didnít see it there when she drove past the house earlier that day?

Anyways - omg mapper, yes, Iíd also be worried about him getting fired due to lack of work ethic. And the deception.....just......awful. Have you told him that you know?
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Old 15th March 2018, 11:09 AM   #4
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You purposefully didn't drive down your street so you could spy on him inconspicuously but your focus is on his deception?

Oh my.
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Old 15th March 2018, 11:23 AM   #5
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Hope he doesn't get fired for his lack of a worth ethic.

How are you so sure the Amazon package was brought in and put back out? Maybe he just never brought it in.

What did he say when you told him you knew he didn't go to work?
Because he would have stepped on it as he walked out the front door to get to his truck! He wouldn't have left it out there since he's always so paranoid about about having packages delivered when nobody's home and having them stolen. And he knows from another time he pulled this same stunt of telling me he was at work but wasn't and when I came home he had left but had brought in a package from earlier in the day so I knew he had been home all day and had caught him in a lie. He still never confessed to being home and just brushed it off.

I never told him I knew he wasn't at work. I never tell him. It happens all the time.
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Old 15th March 2018, 11:32 AM   #6
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She probably didnít see it there when she drove past the house earlier that day?

Anyways - omg mapper, yes, Iíd also be worried about him getting fired due to lack of work ethic. And the deception.....just......awful. Have you told him that you know?
He has done this not going to work crap for years! He knows I get upset about it but he still takes days and sometimes weeks off. That was when I knew he wasn't going in because he didn't nothing to hide it. But when he purposely lies to me and tells me he's at work but isn't and then goes through all this crap to hide it, that's when I get really pissed. I never tell him I know because then he'll accuse me of checking up on him and I'll never hear the end of it. Well, if he actually went to work everyday and didn't leave me wondering every single day if he's at his job then I wouldn't have to check up on him. But since everyday is a mystery, I have to check his bank account to see if he stopped anywhere near work to get breakfast or check our phone accounts to see if he called in (sometimes he doesn't even call in, but never gets fired), or see if he's checked his email (since he only does it at work) or if he's not on Facebook much I know he's not at work.

He did it at his last job, which was a union job, and one time was out for 3 weeks without pay and never got fired. I thought sure when he got this job at a shop of 30 or so people that would stop, but nope. Within a few months he would take a day off and go back. A few months later it would turn into a few days. Now, after 2 years, he has no problem not going in for a week. Yet, never gets fired.
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Old 15th March 2018, 11:51 AM   #7
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I hope YOU have a good job. I can't believe this guy is able to hold down a job at all. He's been lucky!
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Old 15th March 2018, 11:59 AM   #8
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I hope YOU have a good job. I can't believe this guy is able to hold down a job at all. He's been lucky!
I have a great job! Great benefits and bonuses twice a year. I'm the one who pays 95% of the bills as it is, does all the grocery shopping, housework, yard work, etc.

It's not going to matter where he gets a job...he's going to tire of it and start pulling this crap. I've known him for 14 years and this is the 5th job he's had and he's done this same thing in all of them. Loves it, then starts getting irritated by mangers and coworkers calling them"idiots" and then takes days off without pay and then finds another job.
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Old 15th March 2018, 1:13 PM   #9
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I have a great job! Great benefits and bonuses twice a year. I'm the one who pays 95% of the bills as it is, does all the grocery shopping, housework, yard work, etc.

It's not going to matter where he gets a job...he's going to tire of it and start pulling this crap. I've known him for 14 years and this is the 5th job he's had and he's done this same thing in all of them. Loves it, then starts getting irritated by mangers and coworkers calling them"idiots" and then takes days off without pay and then finds another job.
Well, at least he's finding another job I guess.....
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Old 15th March 2018, 1:41 PM   #10
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Well, at least he's finding another job I guess.....
Well "looking" is a relative term! Once again he can't be bothered to actually do the work of looking at different sites, filling out applications and updating his resume. Instead he finds a guy he somewhat knows on Facebook and sees he works as a CNC machinist and thinks he'd make a good apprentice, even though he's never done anything like it. He pretty much just wants someone to come up to him and say "Hey you look awesome and you need to work for us. No need to show us your resume or give us any history. You are awesome!"
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Old 15th March 2018, 2:21 PM   #11
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So you're the Sugar Momma,...the Money Mule?

You do realize you are enabling him?, right?
If it weren't for you letting him do this he would either have to stop doing this, or trade in his truck for a shopping cart and a cardboard sign.

...or I guess just find another Sugar Momma.

Last edited by PRW; 15th March 2018 at 2:23 PM..
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Old 15th March 2018, 2:43 PM   #12
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Are you okay with this behaviour? If not, you are enabling him like the other person said, and by not setting boundaries its saying basically you are okay with it. Why would you want to continue to stay married to a man like this? What does he offer you that is worth all the lies? Maybe you are okay with the lies, I dont know. But by not changing anything yourself, it will continue to occur.
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Old 15th March 2018, 3:43 PM   #13
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Nothing new to see here. You have been posting these complaints about your husband for years but you don't make any changes.
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Old 15th March 2018, 4:12 PM   #14
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Hope he doesn't get fired for his lack of a worth ethic.

How are you so sure the Amazon package was brought in and put back out? Maybe he just never brought it in.

What did he say when you told him you knew he didn't go to work?
Do you? I hope he does get fired, as his lack of effort is definitely putting undue strain on his coworkers.

I also hope, after a look back at her post history, that Mapper stops just complaining about her husband and actually takes some action so that he faces some actual consequences this time.
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Old 15th March 2018, 4:44 PM   #15
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I guess you can keep him as a pet. Give him a collar, tags, and some shots. Don't forget the tracking chip.
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