Aburjwal Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 So here's what happened. On Friday last week, my husband got a call from his frantic mother in the afternoon saying that a verbal spat had broken out between her and some of her relatives. He told me she sounded hysterical and extremely distressed. So we decided to immediately go and visit her. Throughout the way he was quite tensed and worried, and I tried my best to keep him calm. When we reached there (this is a small village where everyone knows everything), he got out of the car and I told him to wait as I parked the car. Some of his relatives were screaming at each other like crazy the main entrance (it was quite scary tbh, they were hurling abuses and one of them even seemed like she was ready to hit someone) and his mother was inside the house. When I got out of the car, he was gone. I got a little anxious as I didn't know any of those people and I thought they might even pick a fight with me. Moreover, he took my phone with him too. I assumed he must have gone inside to his mother, so I rushed inside quickly without making eye contact, praying that none of them would stop me. He was indeed inside with his mother and once I was there I decided not to mention this as he was already quite worked up. As it turns out though, this wasn't the first time a fight had broken out among the relatives there and apparently this drama happened once every month. It was his mother's maternal place where had been staying to take care of her father, and her brother didn't seem to like that very much. So after an hour of ugly screaming, we decided to bring her back to her home, along with a few other relatives that she had called to back her up. Next day at night, I shared with him how anxious I had felt when he vanished without telling me as the place and the people were very new to me. He said he hadn't intended to leave but that he saw his mother inside the house so he instinctively rushed to make sure that she was okay. I said thats understandable but why would you leave me outside with those crazy relatives, especially since there was a chance that they would start abusing me as well? He said he realizes that he shouldn't have, but it was an impulsive decision. Even though that was that, this has been bugging me a bit. I am now apprehensive of going there ever again. I did feel a little abandoned and scared. Should I let it go? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 You should let it go. What else are you expecting from him? You explained to him and he acknowledged your concern and expressed why he did what he did and I can see how he instinctively rushed to protect his mother because SHE was in the line of fire. In that chaos and panic, it probably didn't even cross his mind that you may have been at risk. I wouldn't go there ever again because of the environment, not because he failed to act according to your needs. If you ever decide to visit his mother, do it under better circumstances. If another fight breaks out, you don't have to accompany your husband if you are fearful but if you do, I am sure he will be more vigilant and protective of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aburjwal Posted March 12, 2018 Author Share Posted March 12, 2018 You should let it go. What else are you expecting from him? You explained to him and he acknowledged your concern and expressed why he did what he did and I can see how he instinctively rushed to protect his mother because SHE was in the line of fire. In that chaos and panic, it probably didn't even cross his mind that you may have been at risk. I wouldn't go there ever again because of the environment, not because he failed to act according to your needs. If you ever decide to visit his mother, do it under better circumstances. If another fight breaks up, you don't have to accompany your husband if you are fearful but if you do, I am sure he will be more vigilant and protective of you. She was actually not in the line of fire as she was inside the house and all the drama was happening at the main entrance (where I parked the car) Yes, I do plan to not going there ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
happyhusband0005 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Yes let it go. His explanation and the fact he didn't disagree with you should be enough. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 He needs a firm plan on how to handle this if it ever happens again. Did he need to go? Could he have managed this by phone and/or arranged a ride for her? Try to consider options - is she capable of managing some of this herself? I'm at a loss how a grown older woman can't handle things herself? Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Wow! Where exactly is this place? Sounds like a war zone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Yes, you should let this go. He immediately went to the person who he felt was most in danger, even if she was inside the house. I would have done the exact same thing. It doesn't mean anything, especially since he apologized to you and didn't disagree with you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 You were never in any actual danger. I understand your fear but it did not come to fruition. As crazy as they may have been none of these people engaged you & you were not provoking them. I'm sure you're safe if you ever return. Link to post Share on other sites
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