LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Marriage & Life Partnerships

My husband has been on my last nerve for the past 4 months


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

Like Tree22Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 4th March 2018, 11:00 AM   #16
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: The States
Posts: 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
How much of his attitude has to do with your mom living there? Does she have a job? Does he expect HER to be doing the housework?
She is retired. She's been giving us a little each month for "rent" because she wanted to. We told her she didn't need to. She cares for our son everyday whilewe are at work and she'll continue to do so after she moves. No he doesn't expect her to do the housework, hes told her several times she doesn't have to do any cleaning
tme0 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th March 2018, 11:51 AM   #17
Established Member
 
Elswyth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 25,526
I'm confused. You say he was perfect 6 months ago and now things are like this - but how does someone develop a mentality like that overnight? How did you split the housework/finances 6 months ago?

Anyway, to start with, I wouldn't ASK him to get a cleaner. Just get one. If he complains, tell him that you can stop paying the cleaner if he pulls his weight. His choice.

Secondly, insist on MC. Give him an ultimatum if you must.
__________________
~Perfection is about accepting that we cannot control everything and letting go of some of our preconceived notions.~ -Spiritofnow-
Elswyth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th March 2018, 3:57 PM   #18
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 5,090
I also wonder if your mother living in your home is contributing to this "change" in attitude.

You need marriage counselling. He needs to understand the consequence of his behavior... if this continues, he will be paying you child support and/or spousal support because you will not be doing all the work to support his lazy ways...

Definitely do NOT have another child with this man until you get this issue sorted and his behavior changes - consistently.

The last thing you need is to be raising three children...
BaileyB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th March 2018, 4:06 PM   #19
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 19,150
There's no say I'd put up with that. I mean, why? Now that you have a baby, he just thinks you're stuck and nothing you can do about it. That's why he's acting this way. Because now he thinks he can. It's baby blackmail. If you've already talked to him, try talking to his mom. I wouldn't have sex with him either. Tell him you only have sex with nice helpful people who don't run you into the ground and use you up.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th March 2018, 4:24 PM   #20
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 150
From your thread in 2016 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/roma...usband-do-more :

Quote:
When he gets home from work, he goes straight to the xbox and plays until it is time for bed (he stays up later than he should, which makes it impossible for him to get up the next morning. 9 days out of 10, I have to wake him up (sometimes several times) before he will get up for work.
Quote:
We have had countless discussions about how I need him to help out around the house. I can't work 2 jobs and do everything in the home. These conversations fall on deaf ears. Or he might do one chore the next day then think he's fulfilled his duty for the next few months. I'm just so tired of having the same conversation with him.

I guess this has been a pattern of behavior for him. Doesn't seem like he's going to change, so it seems like your options are to leave or accept that this is how he is and will always be.

My advice, hire a maid whether he likes it or not. He plays video games all night whether you like it or not and doesn't help around the house whether you like it or not...get a maid, you have a infant and need the help.
Yosemite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th March 2018, 5:00 PM   #21
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 11,034
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
My advice, hire a maid whether he likes it or not. He plays video games all night whether you like it or not and doesn't help around the house whether you like it or not...get a maid, you have a infant and need the help.
Beyond that, assuming your choice is to stay in the marriage, you should unilaterally make decisions based on what's best for you and your child. If your H isn't going to participate, so be it. But you'll need to be proactive about the challenges involved in raising a child alone or lose your sanity. In short, time to start being as selfish as he is...

Mr. Lucky
__________________
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." - Epicurus
Mr. Lucky is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My husband and his past ConstantlyBlake Marriage & Life Partnerships 2 24th November 2014 5:11 PM
Husband's FWB from past won't go away skim37 Marriage & Life Partnerships 10 18th May 2009 9:39 PM
She can't get rid of a rage to the husband because of his past. lovestory5 Marriage & Life Partnerships 3 2nd March 2009 4:21 AM
Can't get over husband's past friendship angie2443 Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 6 23rd January 2008 4:25 PM
Help with getting past husband's past relationships coolbeans Marriage & Life Partnerships 3 28th June 2004 9:43 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 6:53 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.