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Husband is a workaholic...

Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 25th February 2018, 12:59 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by ls333 View Post
My update this week: DH has cooked for me twice, sat down to eat dinner w me and talked for 45 min\night, and watched TV for 1\2 hour last night. And I called and talked to him yesterday evening while we were both commuting home from work. That’s basically all the interaction we’ve had this week

He found out yesterday there’s an unexpected roadblock in his PhD write-up that will take a bunch more time so it’s crunch time. I get that but he still works on his side projects too… He was just asking if any of my co-workers or friends would be interested in this random project he had an idea for… But I know he he considers them “fun” and “hobbies” rather than work. He will occasionally come out from other room and give me a dozen kisses or so and then go back to work . I should think it’s cute but somehow I am annoyed bc it makes me feel he thinks he can give me so little attention and still “get away with it” and make me happy. His whole “quality over quantity.” Reminds me of how an extended family member has a big birthday going and he’s to attend for as short a time as he can w/o being rude bc it’s right before his paper is due… he calls it “I need to check off a box and go,” and that’s how I’m feeling, if he interacts w me for 1 min an hour he can check off the box of “attention.”

It’s not that he’s in major crunch time for a PhD that’s bothering me- obviously can’t be helped. It’s just that he’s pretty much always a workaholic, so I’m baseline annoyed and now REALLY annoyed bc what am I getting out of this really?
Asking you again - have you both considered MC? Clearly communication isn't working here, you need to find out why. MC can help with that.
~Perfection is about accepting that we cannot control everything and letting go of some of our preconceived notions.~ -Spiritofnow-
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Old 26th February 2018, 5:40 PM   #17
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I don't think it's a problem about him, but the two of you are just not compatible. You are right to feel resentful but I think the anger may be misplaced and maybe you are angry with yourself.i can't believe he has changed..

It sounds like you are trying to compete with his work/study can't..

Time to be honest with yourself and him and make plans to separate.
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Old 26th February 2018, 6:27 PM   #18
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My ex works all the time to avoid intimacy - do you think this could be how your husband participates?
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