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Is my husband jealous or upset ?


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Old 22nd January 2018, 7:22 AM   #1
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Is my husband jealous or upset ?

Don.t know what to do?


May be jealousy from my husband side or something else ?
We are married from last 3 years my husband is 28 years old and I am 26 years old.


I am extrovert and have friends from both gender female and male, whereas my husband is introvert and have friends from male section only.
I have a few childhood and college friends who are my best friends, we all best friends are married.


I am friendly to my best friend husbands also, so we play games, visit some places, and participate also, whereas my husband is different from my best friend husbands,


there are certain instances where I have touched, groped or cuddle with my best friend husbands, and my best friends are fine with their spouse that they also do with each other irrespective of the gender,


There was a party and unfortunately my ex bf was also there so we danced together in a sensual way, whereas my husband was not very much interested in dancing, he was looking and talking to other people who were present at that party, so my friends in excitement complemented both of us, how we look great together and really enjoy together, they forgot about my husband presence,


My husband on that day came to know before our marriage, I was in a relationship with my ex bf.
But he did not ask or said anything after wards,

Similar kind of instances happened, once daring task in a fun activity was given to me so I performed a kind of twerking activity on my male colleagues in an outside office party which was non-official, my husband was not there,


There are several incidents like these happened.


Recently a month ago during some fun games, my best friend husband touched my body and kissed on my navel and my husband saw that, he did not say anything after that nor reacted.


But after that day he is very distant to me, I asked him whatís wrong or did I said anything or is there any issue or problem, he did not say anything.


Just two weeks ago my husband went to Los Angeles for business and project work, since that day he is giving me the silent treatment. I texted him I missed him and sent some romantic and erotic messages, on which he has not responded.

Is my husband upset over these things or is he a kind of jealous?

I donít know whatís the issue,


Update : Where as my husband lost his virginity to me, after our marriage ceremony, he never asked about my previous or past relation, so I did not tell him about my ex bf and my relationship.


Similarly, there were other instances also where my office colleagues were flirting with me and I responded to them in a flirtatious manner and my husband was observing these things.

And let me tell you about my husband, he is very kind, honest, decent and pure man, and twice he has donated blood to my father in some emergency situations, my husband does household work, prepare breakfast, do other household chores also, he treats my friends and colleagues with respect and good way but my best friends also indicated my husband is not like their husband, he is not funny and charming like their husband, but my husband in terms of intelligence, designation and earning, he earns a very high package and better than my best friend husbands

And off course he is very handsome in terms of looks and heights, only thing is he is shy and introvert.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 9:01 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
I have touched, groped or cuddle with my best friend husbands...
my ex bf was also there so we danced together in a sensual way...
I performed a kind of twerking activity on my male colleagues...
my best friend husband touched my body and kissed on my navel
Let me tell you, if you did just ONE of those things then you would be my EX WIFE.

Of course he is upset and angry and jealous. You are acting like a single teenager, not a married woman.

If you want to save your marriage then you need to start apologising and begging and change your ways in the future.

Whereas if you want to maintain your party girl lifestyle then you need to either be single or find a new husband, who is into those things as well, or who doesn't mind his wife acting like a single teenager.

I don't think you can keep both your lifestyle and your husband. Time to choose.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 9:08 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
Don.t know what to do?


May be jealousy from my husband side or something else ?
We are married from last 3 years my husband is 28 years old and I am 26 years old.


I am extrovert and have friends from both gender female and male, whereas my husband is introvert and have friends from male section only.
I have a few childhood and college friends who are my best friends, we all best friends are married.


I am friendly to my best friend husbands also, so we play games, visit some places, and participate also, whereas my husband is different from my best friend husbands,


there are certain instances where I have touched, groped or cuddle with my best friend husbands, and my best friends are fine with their spouse that they also do with each other irrespective of the gender,


There was a party and unfortunately my ex bf was also there so we danced together in a sensual way, whereas my husband was not very much interested in dancing, he was looking and talking to other people who were present at that party, so my friends in excitement complemented both of us, how we look great together and really enjoy together, they forgot about my husband presence,


My husband on that day came to know before our marriage, I was in a relationship with my ex bf.
But he did not ask or said anything after wards,

Similar kind of instances happened, once daring task in a fun activity was given to me so I performed a kind of twerking activity on my male colleagues in an outside office party which was non-official, my husband was not there,


There are several incidents like these happened.


Recently a month ago during some fun games, my best friend husband touched my body and kissed on my navel and my husband saw that, he did not say anything after that nor reacted.


But after that day he is very distant to me, I asked him what’s wrong or did I said anything or is there any issue or problem, he did not say anything.


Just two weeks ago my husband went to Los Angeles for business and project work, since that day he is giving me the silent treatment. I texted him I missed him and sent some romantic and erotic messages, on which he has not responded.

Is my husband upset over these things or is he a kind of jealous?

I don’t know what’s the issue,


Update : Where as my husband lost his virginity to me, after our marriage ceremony, he never asked about my previous or past relation, so I did not tell him about my ex bf and my relationship.


Similarly, there were other instances also where my office colleagues were flirting with me and I responded to them in a flirtatious manner and my husband was observing these things.

And let me tell you about my husband, he is very kind, honest, decent and pure man, and twice he has donated blood to my father in some emergency situations, my husband does household work, prepare breakfast, do other household chores also, he treats my friends and colleagues with respect and good way but my best friends also indicated my husband is not like their husband, he is not funny and charming like their husband, but my husband in terms of intelligence, designation and earning, he earns a very high package and better than my best friend husbands

And off course he is very handsome in terms of looks and heights, only thing is he is shy and introvert.
Hmm, you sure you're ready to be married? These are some pretty disrespectful unwife like behavior. Keep it up and he will be your ex husband... sounds like that would be smart on his behalf.

Last edited by DKT3; 22nd January 2018 at 9:10 AM..
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Old 22nd January 2018, 9:37 AM   #4
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I too am an extrovert married to an introvert. I have several male friends & enjoy interacting with my GF's husband's & SOs but there is nothing overtly sexual about those interactions. A quick, not full body hug hello is fine. Cuddling & groping is crossing a line. Playing board or card games is fine. My husband does not like to dance. I have a male friend who I have known for 30 years. He's single (well has a GF but she never comes out). We often all end up at parties together. He likes to dance so I will often dance with him but it looks like something out of a Catholic junior high -- there is enough space between our bodies to fit a Bible.

You on the other hand are behaving shamelessly, teasing these other men & flaunting your sexuality in your husband's face. Some other man should not be kissing your navel! He shouldn't even see your navel. That is not the behavior of an extrovert. That is the behavior of a disrespectful woman who is emasculating her husband. Your behavior is a reflection of him & right now it's simple disgraceful. If you care about him or your marriage, tone it down. Apologize & from now on limit your flirting to him alone. If you can't do this, your husband will leave you.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 9:39 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
I donít know whatís the issue
Really?

Imagine the situation were reversed and your husband was groping, cuddling, being sensual, and twerking with an assortment of other females including his ex girlfriend. What would your reaction be?

I don't know what's worse - your behaviour, or the fact that you seriously need us to explain to you what the problem is.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 9:58 AM   #6
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Is my husband jealous or upset?


He's upset and rightfully so. If the shoe was on your foot and your husband was groping his female friend, you'd be upset too.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 10:06 AM   #7
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you need to read "not just friends".

you have lousy boundaries.

hope you get some quick. If you can't stop, give him a nice D.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 11:08 AM   #8
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You got married before you were ready to settle down, OP.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 2:43 PM   #9
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Another example that people in relationships do not need
thus should not have opposite sex friends.

You know your behavior with these other men is wrong.

You know that you should be having NC with past lovers
yet you dance with them in front of your husband.

You posted these acts and your husbands response after
each act you saw his displeasure.

So I have to ask why did you still keep behaving in a disrespectful
manner to your husband?

Were you looking for us to say the problem your husband's
reaction, and not your behavior?
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Old 22nd January 2018, 4:30 PM   #10
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Wow.... try to put yourself in his shoes. Would you really be okay with him philandering with females?

I a very outgoing, very social, extrovert with a number of male friends. I would also consider most of my husband's friends my friends. We all get together socially very often, and I hang out with his married and single guy friends.

But I have BOUNDARIES - you are displaying none.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
there are certain instances where I have touched, groped or cuddle with my best friend husbands, and my best friends are fine with their spouse that they also do with each other irrespective of the gender,
In most social circles this would not be cool. Groped?! Cuddled?

In my world guy friends get a friendly hug as a greeting for farewell.. shoulder touches or a pat on the back. No cuddling or groping! If its not something you would do in front of your grandparents, its inappropriate to do as a married person.


Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
There was a party and unfortunately my ex bf was also there so we danced together in a sensual way,
Noooooo no no no... you are MARRIED!


Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
, so my friends in excitement complemented both of us, how we look great together and really enjoy together, they forgot about my husband presence,
Nice, rubbed some salt in the wound. OUCH.



Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
Recently a month ago during some fun games, my best friend husband touched my body and kissed on my navel
Are these some married couples hanging out, or an episode of Girls Gone Wild Cancun? Just not okay. So insulting and disrespectful to your husband.


Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
Update : Where as my husband lost his virginity to me, after our marriage ceremony, he never asked about my previous or past relation, so I did not tell him about my ex bf and my relationship.
Thats a pretty big detail to omit when marrying someone - so he had to wait till after the marriage to have sex with you - but you didn't tell him you weren't a virgin?


Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
Similarly, there were other instances also where my office colleagues were flirting with me and I responded to them in a flirtatious manner and my husband was observing these things.
Ugh... honey, this ALL comes down to respect. Respecting your husband, respecting your marriage, respecting YOURSELF.

As a woman, as a business professional - stuff like this last paragraph make me queasy.

DON'T FLIRT AT WORK! Do you wanted to be respected for your mind, and your capabilities, or to be valued for your sexuality? Please don't play into that.

Besides you are married.... no flirting at work. Or with your girlfriend's husbands, or your husband's friends. Just NO.

And you may think I am some sort of prude - but really I am not. My husband and I actually play around with flirting etc. But we do it after we have COMMUNICATED our desires, the complexity behind these sorts of things, where the hard boundaries are, how either can veto at any time. How it only happens when we are together and with explicit permission - because again, its about respect, and placing each other first.

Now why has he shut down? Most husbands would be FURIOUS at your behavior, and it sounds like he does not have communication skills. So, he has gone quiet.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:01 PM   #11
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What does being an extrovert have to do with knowingly disrespecting your spouse?
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:47 PM   #12
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Here's what I got from your post...

You spend your social time trying to find every way possible to disrespect, emasculate and embarrass your H. And then when he finally has had enough, you wonder what's up.

I mean, you danced sensually with an ex RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!!! Seriously, what's wrong with you? You don't act like a wife. If you so desperately want to get physical with other men, divorce your H first and give him the chance to find real love.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 9:03 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post

And let me tell you about my husband, he is very kind, honest, decent and pure man, and twice he has donated blood to my father in some emergency situations, my husband does household work, prepare breakfast, do other household chores also, he treats my friends and colleagues with respect and good way but my best friends also indicated my husband is not like their husband, he is not funny and charming like their husband, but my husband in terms of intelligence, designation and earning, he earns a very high package and better than my best friend husbands

And off course he is very handsome in terms of looks and heights, only thing is he is shy and introvert.
You don’t deserve him.

You really need to take your husband’s feelings in consideration. There are a lot of great advice in this thread. Don’t just come here to bellyache and complain then go back to doing what you’re doing.

First, cut ALL contact with the ex, social media, texting, etc..everything.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 24th January 2018 at 8:22 PM.. Reason: unnecessary imagery ~T
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Old 22nd January 2018, 10:09 PM   #14
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its not appropriate for you to grope cuddle or hang off friends husbands....not only for your own relationship but for the respect and appreciation of the relationship status of your friends....honor and cherish your husband he sounds wonderful.....the characteristics and traits you have stated your husband has make him a rare breed of man....if people you know state otherwise....they are the ones who are jealous.......

it would be a shame to drive a wedge when you could have real happiness on tap from an attentive kind thoughtful intelligent man ...nurture that....all the wonderful .....thank god for it........yep your guy....thank god he is who he is......you should return all he does ...in attention love and support for him

dont listen to others when they say he is wanting in other areas..interrupt them to stand up for the guy who really cares for you......say yeah you think but you dont see this......and list all the wonderful to them....


so what he isnt funny...i bet he has his own style ....get to know him better...he sounds like he is pretty deep so swim.....a comic alone doesnt make a husband...you be the comic...make his heart light and treasure that heart...stop with the other men who arent yours...groping cuddling....cuddle your own guy and be happy you have him to cuddle......i wish you well...deb
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Old 23rd January 2018, 1:48 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelywife View Post
Don.t know what to do?


May be jealousy from my husband side or something else ?
We are married from last 3 years my husband is 28 years old and I am 26 years old.


I am extrovert and have friends from both gender female and male, whereas my husband is introvert and have friends from male section only.
I have a few childhood and college friends who are my best friends, we all best friends are married.


I am friendly to my best friend husbands also, so we play games, visit some places, and participate also, whereas my husband is different from my best friend husbands,


there are certain instances where I have touched, groped or cuddle with my best friend husbands, and my best friends are fine with their spouse that they also do with each other irrespective of the gender,


There was a party and unfortunately my ex bf was also there so we danced together in a sensual way, whereas my husband was not very much interested in dancing, he was looking and talking to other people who were present at that party, so my friends in excitement complemented both of us, how we look great together and really enjoy together, they forgot about my husband presence,


My husband on that day came to know before our marriage, I was in a relationship with my ex bf.
But he did not ask or said anything after wards,

Similar kind of instances happened, once daring task in a fun activity was given to me so I performed a kind of twerking activity on my male colleagues in an outside office party which was non-official, my husband was not there,


There are several incidents like these happened.


Recently a month ago during some fun games, my best friend husband touched my body and kissed on my navel and my husband saw that, he did not say anything after that nor reacted.


But after that day he is very distant to me, I asked him whatís wrong or did I said anything or is there any issue or problem, he did not say anything.


Just two weeks ago my husband went to Los Angeles for business and project work, since that day he is giving me the silent treatment. I texted him I missed him and sent some romantic and erotic messages, on which he has not responded.

Is my husband upset over these things or is he a kind of jealous?

I donít know whatís the issue,


Update : Where as my husband lost his virginity to me, after our marriage ceremony, he never asked about my previous or past relation, so I did not tell him about my ex bf and my relationship.


Similarly, there were other instances also where my office colleagues were flirting with me and I responded to them in a flirtatious manner and my husband was observing these things.

And let me tell you about my husband, he is very kind, honest, decent and pure man, and twice he has donated blood to my father in some emergency situations, my husband does household work, prepare breakfast, do other household chores also, he treats my friends and colleagues with respect and good way but my best friends also indicated my husband is not like their husband, he is not funny and charming like their husband, but my husband in terms of intelligence, designation and earning, he earns a very high package and better than my best friend husbands

And off course he is very handsome in terms of looks and heights, only thing is he is shy and introvert.
You did all these things as a wife?

If my wife had done half of what you have, I would have divorce her. What you have done is break your marriage vows, you know the honor and respect ones.
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