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Are previous sex partners with my wife the father of my children?


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 26th December 2017, 5:29 AM   #16
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I don't mean to be historic stick-in-the-mud but when it comes to Nordic features showing up in unexpected places you have to remember the age of the Vikings. There was some serious rape and pillaging going on and the Vikings spread their Nordic genes far and wide. Even if you discount the raping and pillaging you have to remember that they also had an amazingly wide-ranging Trade Network that brought Nordic men in contact with women all over the world.
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Old 26th December 2017, 10:57 AM   #17
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I'm not a biologist, but I'll give you my fifth-grade knowledge on predicting inheritance based on dominant and recessive genes. Remember Punnett squares? If two parents carry a recessive gene it can become dominant in the offspring. Blonde hair and blue eyes (I'm guessing that's what you mean by your offspring appearing Nordic) are recessive genes. So it is very likely you and your wife both carried the gene despite having dark haired/eyed relatives. That gene was never expressed because neither of your ancestors ever mated with someone who carried it, but it was passed down to you. Once your chromosomes combined, the recessive genes became dominant.

So your children having Nordic features are likely not the result of a third-party semen cocktail, but from your genes that were not expressed in previous generations but carried by each of you. This very basic understanding of genetic selection basically debunked the theory of telegony. .
Very good point, and most of us can point to hundreds of examples of this in our every day life.

My family for instance. My mother has brown hair and brown eyes. Her parents have brown hair and brown eyes - but we're recessive carriers.

Her first husband had brown hair and brown eyes.

My half sister (product of that marriage) has blond hair and blue eyes (DNA tested).

But the "influence" of that pairing did not cause me to have blond hair nor blue eyes (both are brown) and my father has brown hair and grey eyes.
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Old 26th December 2017, 6:28 PM   #18
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One thing about carrying genetics (wife and your side) from previous generations - is things come up. We look at old family photos - well over 100 years ago - and we see certain "types" repeating but sometimes skipping one generation or even two ! For example my wife looks nothing like her mom or dad - but oh boy her mom's mom (her grandmother) there is an uncanny resemblance - face, body, scowl . Also beyond looks its easy I think to spot certain emotional, mental, traits.


Lots of people using DNA testing these days - we got our stepson a kit. He is excited to find out about his ancestors because there is alot of confusion on heritage. My sister had it done for her - and what European and Celtic Mutts we are

But people who adopt or use sperm or egg donors - are the still parents. You are the daddy that is raising and loving them.



P.S. I get (really I do) the issues a husband may face when he has a wife with more past partners than you would have wished. Its a separate issue for you and her to resolve - don't extend it to your kids. Parent Child love is a special love beyond any thing else.
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Old 26th December 2017, 6:41 PM   #19
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There are some controversial studies that say women carry dna markers from their lovers in their bodies. However, I think the dna that fertilizes an egg comes from a specific sperm cell.

If “dna markers” stored in women’s bodies could produce children, women would be getting pregnant every time they ovulate without having sex.

That’s not happening, so I feel your fears are unfounded.

If your kids have different dna than you, it’s because another man dumped some sperm in your wife. If you’re worried, have them tested to find out for sure rather than confusing yourself with outlandish theories.
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Old 26th December 2017, 7:36 PM   #20
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My wife's family is from Morocco and mine are from Bulgaria; no Nordic types there.
Do you consider Baltic to be the same as/similiar to nordic? I am Lithuanian, and was recently wondering why "Christmas" in Lithuanian Kaledu is so similar to bulgarian: Koleda. Especially since Lithuanian is considered one of the oldest indo-Europen languages with some words going back to Sanskrit. It turns out is is translated from the pagan pre-Christmas winter solstice festival word. The word also exists in Polish and Belorussian, but only the Bulgarians and Lithuanians use it for Christmas.

Anyway it turns out that there was substantial mixing between Bulgarians and Lithuanians/Poles 1000-1600 years ago resulting in a Bulgarian DNA being 40-45% Balto-Slavic (23.2% Lithuanian and 19.3% Polish). Your DNA may not be as far off from Nordic, than you think.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geneti..._on_Bulgarians

Its a small world, Maybe we are related, LOL

Last edited by Doorstopper; 26th December 2017 at 7:45 PM..
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Old 26th December 2017, 9:21 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Doorstopper View Post
Do you consider Baltic to be the same as/similiar to nordic? I am Lithuanian, and was recently wondering why "Christmas" in Lithuanian Kaledu is so similar to bulgarian: Koleda. Especially since Lithuanian is considered one of the oldest indo-Europen languages with some words going back to Sanskrit. It turns out is is translated from the pagan pre-Christmas winter solstice festival word. The word also exists in Polish and Belorussian, but only the Bulgarians and Lithuanians use it for Christmas.

Anyway it turns out that there was substantial mixing between Bulgarians and Lithuanians/Poles 1000-1600 years ago resulting in a Bulgarian DNA being 40-45% Balto-Slavic (23.2% Lithuanian and 19.3% Polish). Your DNA may not be as far off from Nordic, than you think.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geneti..._on_Bulgarians

Its a small world, Maybe we are related, LOL
Those damn Vikings got around. DNA expressing itself after years of hiding.

Visual material evidence of Viking presence in the Balkans

Last edited by dichotomy; 26th December 2017 at 9:26 PM..
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Old 27th December 2017, 6:00 AM   #22
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I think it's a load of nonsense to put it bluntly. Only one sperm fertilises the egg. In.the case of fraternal twins it's two different sperms for each egg.

Sperm dies in the body after a certain amount of time.

As others have said...some traits come from through backs in the family. Here is a classic example of it.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/nypos...bombshell/amp/

You've done a paternity test. The children are yours. No need to bring your wife's previous sexual history into this.

It just comes across as insecurity... and you blaming her having a high number on the fact that your children have Nordic features.

Your children would look as they do regardless...because they are a product of the two of you.

I have to agree with Central on this one (I don't often share his views ...it seems like an attempt to ensure women have none or few sexual partners.

I'll bet it was research done by men as well.
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Old 27th December 2017, 6:35 AM   #23
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My children are grown adults and I have always considered them MY CHILDREN. They look nothing like my wife or me. Through the years sometimes we would be asked if they were adopted since we look so different from them. I never gave it much thought then, other than it was nature doing what it does in reproduction.
It wasn’t until I came across some of this research literature recently, which I know nothing about, that I became curious. My wife grew up in Norway, her family had moved there when she was a young child form Morocco. She and her family lived there for almost 20 years. Almost all of her sexual past occurred there with Nordic (northern European) looking men. Since my children have some Nordic characteristics this literature became an interest. After reading some of the links that were posted and other comments, I’m sure my children’s physical characteristics are just by chance; yes those Vikings did get around. Or until science proves other wise! If any of you come across info please post it.
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Old 28th December 2017, 1:00 AM   #24
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My wife had many sexual partners before we were married, she said too many to count.
I think you're trying to slap a pseudo-scientific coat of paint on the real issue.

Might be good to talk to someone about it since the concern has already pushed you to DNA test your children...

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Old 28th December 2017, 7:39 AM   #25
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In the farthest possible extreme - let say (for fantasy sake) that her eggs where "altered" slightly by past lovers.. Maybe in a sense - fantasy sense - you impregnated a slightly nordic female egg. See the flip of this fantasy ? You had children with a "Nordic female". A different FEMALE EGG She should be worried they are not "her" kids. They are for sure yours.

Haha - but seriously....no.

You are both the parents.

Your DNA is confirmed - but even if it wasn't - your the dad, your kids love you. A child's love and admiration for their dad is something so valuable. I can't tell you how much my children's love for me (and me for them) has meant. Its a reward beyond any issues I had with my own wife and marriage.

I suspect you (and your wife) have still not resolved her past. I dont know if she lied or hid it from you, or if you have some religious or cultural issues around her past, but in any case please get (or continue) some therapy. I am sorry you're going through this - I get some of it.

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Old 30th December 2017, 12:36 AM   #26
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Hi rog, did you know about your wife's past sexual history before you married her? If you did then this issue shouldn't raise it's head since you knowingly put yourself in a position which seems to be causing you niggling worries. This research that you have mentioned may or may not be verifiable but that does not alter the fact that you jumped in head first, into a union with a lady about whom you are now having some doubts. Has your wife been faithful after marrying you? I think that is more important than anything else. Also, have you checked on the possibility that your kids could be albinos? Albinos look like they have Nordic features.

The other thing is that we have to remember that the human race descended from African forefathers. One never knows when a child born of parents of a different ethnic group than Africans will produce a child with African features. I remember reading in a magazine article a while ago that an African lady married to an African man had a child with white skin and blond hair. The child's physical features resembled that of it's parents but the skin and hair colour were entirely different from that of it's parents. And no,, there was no infidelity involved. I guess Nature follows it's own obscure rules and does not conform to human logic. That is why evolution has enabled living organisms to survive in harsh surroundings.

As a personal example, I am born of parents who are brown/ wheat skinned and with black hair. However, I was born with a very fair complexion approximating the white skin of Europeans. My hair( when I had plenty of it) was a red-brown colour. The reason for this was that on my mother's side my ancestor, thrice removed was European. My other siblings are brown skinned but an elder brother who died was like me. So I guess I am a throw back but of course I was the butt of jokes when growing up. More than me I guess my parents would have been placed in an awkward position having to explain my colour. So I guess Nature can play cruel tricks on people and one has to take it in one's stride. Warm wishes.
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Old 30th December 2017, 8:34 AM   #27
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eggs can't be altered by previous sperm.. the egg isn't in a place to even touch previous lovers sperm... the egg is inside her ovary and barely exists.. it is only matured and released monthly..
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Old 30th December 2017, 10:23 AM   #28
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eggs can't be altered by previous sperm.. the egg isn't in a place to even touch previous lovers sperm... the egg is inside her ovary and barely exists.. it is only matured and released monthly..
It's not sperm, it's enzymes in the semen. And in the flies studied (not known if this has any effect in humans or even mammals), it does alter the immature eggs in some way that can affect the morphology (size, mainly) of the future offspring, independent of the mate's DNA.
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Old 30th December 2017, 10:56 AM   #29
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The disturbing thing is that this could be used as yet another excuse for men to try to control female sexuality.
Yeah good luck with that one. It will never happen.
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Old 31st December 2017, 10:16 AM   #30
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With some of the posts raising questions regarding my testing my children's DNA; I could not remember how we did it. When I checked with my wife, I asked her what DNA testing did we do? She told me it was through ancestry.com where you can discover your family history. She said we did it a few years back and it showed that we and our children shared similar DNA.
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