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Drama between my parents and wife.


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Old 28th December 2017, 1:10 PM   #61
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Originally Posted by todd18us View Post
Just to clarify everything I will not miss the anniversary I will be there the whole week with my daughter but my wife and son will miss the first couple days of the vacation and then fly to the vacation for the anniversary party the problem is my wife and son missing half the vacation
That's wonderful! Glad everything will work out
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Old 28th December 2017, 2:25 PM   #62
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I personally think missing the first couple days of school is not as big a deal as some people make it out to be. But your parents entitled and manipulative behavior is appalling. I'd just fly the whole family there for the weekend of their anniversary day only.
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Old 28th December 2017, 6:22 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by todd18us View Post
Just to clarify everything I will not miss the anniversary I will be there the whole week with my daughter but my wife and son will miss the first couple days of the vacation and then fly to the vacation for the anniversary party the problem is my wife and son missing half the vacation

I think if the BS from your parents continues you need to give them an ultimatum something like this:

" Mom, Dad, we can't continue to argue about this. Either:

a: I will be there the whole week with your granddaughter but my wife and your grandson will miss the first couple days of the vacation and then fly to the vacation for the anniversary party.

or b: None of us will come"

Then let them make the decision.
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Old 31st December 2017, 1:28 PM   #64
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Probably a passive aggressive way to handle things like this but I also have in-laws that are a little difficult. When these sort of items come up, I simply check out. How? Well, here are some examples:

1) My husband and I stay calm and united and make one statement about what
We are going to do, etc. Then, we do t argue.

2) if they call and want to argue, I announce I have another call or I have to go or I am driving, whatever and get off the phone. Essentially, I donít respond at all to the stimulus... I just ignore it.

3) if they show up at the house and start, I keep doing my thing and ignore the stimulus. I change the topic - several times if I have to - and then if I need to, I announce I need to leave and I leave.

4) if they say, ďyou never talk about things,Ē I simply say - and I honestly believe it - that I just donít find circular conversations fruitful and that
Many times people just have to agree to disagree.

Yes, itís avoidance but since I started practicing it, the drama has gone down by 99 percent. They get that we wonít participate and have adjusted accordingly. The trick is, though, that you can not give into your instinct to fight back. You can never engage again or they will just amp up their attacks.

Hope that helps.
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Old 31st December 2017, 4:54 PM   #65
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I feel badly for your wife. The time she does spend with your parents will not be fun.

Go with your daughter, and let your wife decide what she wants to do. If she wants to go for a few days with your son, fine. If she doesnt want to go at all, thats fine too. This is the perfect time for you to stand up to your parents. You dont have to be mean about it all all. You just need to shift the balance of power a little. You can not care if they choose to act like spoiled kids. The world doesnt revolve around them. The fact that you will be there should be good enough for them.

Sounds like a power struggle to me, to be honest.
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:51 AM   #66
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5+ hours travel each way (2hrs in car and 3hrs by plane) sounds like an unnecessary whirlwind trip for a 1st grader who has to get up early Monday morning to go to school. I hope you’re all getting back at a decent hour on Sunday.

Personally I would bag the trip if I was wife and son.
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