I have 2 questions I don't understand......

[Lily blue]

Hi

Let me get in to it right away...

Ok first question.

My guy, I can't say what he do for a living but he is very high paying and has very demanding of his time and energy...mostly a lots of meetings and oversees other employees...top executive position....anyway, he takes long, long time to get ready for work every morning and he looks so nice and handsome and really hot....looks intimidate even to my eyes.....

But when he go out with me on the weekends, he dress way down even going out to dinner....a lot of times people who works for him don't recognize him most of the time if we ran by them when we are out.....he wears ball cap hat too when we go out...

He never dress up for me. I wish he did sometimes not just for work.

He say he hates dressing up every day but he has to...but with me, GE wants to relax and he do not want to be noticed by people who works for him or people who he associated with business wise when we go out.

He don't want people to recognize him outside of work and he don't want people to know what he do for a living.....

He won't dress up for me not even once why?

I want him to look good for me once in a while when we go out but he won't and he want me to look good for him all the time and I do....

 

 

 

Second question...

He works out a lot...weight lifting all his life since he was a teen.

We have awsome Gym he put it together in our house down stairs...he has 7,000 SQFT home on 6 acre house ...

 

He can work out an hour or two lifting heavy stuff and still has energy.

He is always very active. Can't sit around kind of guy.

Works out 4 to 5 times a week but when we have sex....after 20 minutes or so we are done and he seem so exhausted and he look and feel so worn out.

Why is that?

We used to have very intense sex not very often only 1 or 2 times a week and lasted 30 or 40 minutes not much foreplay but intense intercourse...but now days 20 minutes or less and not that intense and he is worn out ...but when he work out, he never seem worn out or tired...but sex does....why?

 

He is 53 years old by the way......

Thank you.

[dichotomy]

Dress down when you go out for him. If he gets upset - say you want to follow his example because you admire him.

 

Also you can plan dates to meet him at work as soon as he gets off - hit a club or restaurant near his office sometimes - dont give him a chance to change.

 

Weight lifting is not the same as cardio.

 

Also sex is not the same as other cardio. Your body gets used to a very specific movement - and others can leave you winded. I have watched people who do the same type of exercise all the time - suddenly try something new like swimming, or kick boxing, or bike - and be huffing and puffing - I also know this first hand. My new Airdyne bike is killing me.

 

53 and going for 20 mins of sex is not that bad. My wife has issues after 15 mins. Do you take over to give him a break - climb on top of him - do the moving and let him rest? A guy (especially in 50's) doing all the "pumping" can leave them tired.

 

Also has he been drinking and eating heavily before you have sex ?

Edited September 20, 2017 by dichotomy

[Lily blue]

Thank you for reply.

I dress very casual too because him dress way down but I dress look cute and classy at the same time.

 

He have glass wine before sex ....he say he do better....I don't drink so I don't know that is true or not. But he always want to have sex late at night like 11 pm or so....maybe that is another factor ...he won't and never in the mood early in the day nor early in the evening.

He say he likes do it late at night.....??

 

Yes I do on top but I can't do it...he want me on top in the beginning and I did but I bleed almost every time or I feel pain and sore because of his large and thick so he won't let me anymore ....

We can't do a lot of positions due to his size....much rube don't help much.

They say Vargina can stretch and take any size but not true ...not me.

Anyway, I was curious.

 

He has ton of energy and stamina everyday but sex, he gets exhausted lol

 

Thank you

[salparadise]

He never dress up for me. I wish he did sometimes not just for work.

 

It's understandable that if he has to dress up for work five days a week that he would prefer to be more relaxed during his time off.

 

My suggestion would be to schedule some dates where dressing up would be appropriate, such as the symphony or theatre. Tell him it would mean a lot to you. Don't expect him to be dressed to the nines for a casual outing. I suspect that you're taking this a bit personally. If I were you I'd tone down the polish too, except when it's called for.

 

If you find yourself all dressed up and he's ultra casual, tell him you're going to go back put on something more comfortable, like him. It does seem weird that the two of you would be completely mismatched when going out. You need to take more control and communicate. But don't make a huge thing of it.

 

 

...but now days 20 minutes or less and not that intense and he is worn out ...but when he work out, he never seem worn out or tired...but sex does....why?

 

It's not unusual for sexual intensity to moderate over time. Twenty minutes of intercourse isn't bad... if you were saying three minutes it would be different. The trick is to make an extended event of sex and save intercourse for the final act. Whether you call it foreplay or just expanding the repertoire, slow it down, get your heads into it, try new and different things.

 

It's not related to working out. Just like getting dressed up is not related to how much he cares about you. It's also not about how much money he has. You may be connecting dots that aren't actually connected, and then turning it into expectations. You're half of this equation, so communicate and make things work for both of you. And don't make it a "relationship issue." It's mostly just practical stuff, things that are easily adjusted.

Edited September 20, 2017 by salparadise

[d0nnivain]

He dresses up all week because he has to be "on"; everybody is counting on him, there is a ton of pressure. On the weekends he wants to chill. But you want to put the pressure back on. That's not fair. He gets no down time.

 

 

Perhaps have a weekday date once in a while, where he's already dressed up. You meet him & go to dinner.

 

 

Maybe ask if you can do the "all dolled up" thing 2-3 times per year. For him to "never" dress for you is problematic. What about when you attend functions together like weddings. I'm sure he doesn't dress like a slob then.

 

 

As for the sex consider that he's spent because he's given you everything physically & emotionally, where working out is physical only.

[preraph]

Good questions.

 

First one: He hates dressing up and wants to not do it when he doesn't have to. Nothing unusual about this. If you want to see him more dressed up, ask him for lunch when he's working and see if he can meet you. On your birthday, you could tell him you want him to dress up and take you to dinner (or your anniversary). But don't make the man feel bad for not dressing formally every day. Maybe his casual clothes are too casual, so buy him some you think are super comfy but not sloppy. Pants, not sweats. Keep him in newer casual clothes and not the old ones if he'll have it.

 

Sex diminishes for men as they get older. No one is the stud they were when young. Don't make him feel bad about it. What you might do is tell him you want more foreplay or just guide his hand and be sure you get off that way. I don't think it hurts to say you still need to get off.

[Lily blue]

For respond to last post.....ok

He don't dress sloppy and he never wear tee shirts or sweat pants. He dress ok when we go out but always wear ball cap hat.

He owns a lot of nice clothes and he don't spend money even thought he makes great money. Most average people have to work 15 years to make what he makes in year but he don't spend money and drive used average cars and stuff.

That is why I love him because he don't act nor show off nor look down on people like many I know who makes good money.

 

He is cheap on buying clothes or anything for him self but he treats me and others nice.

I make my own good money too and yes, I bought him many nice brand name Suits, ties, belts, sunglasses all are high end name brands because he never spend money to buy nice name brands...but I want him to look good like everyone else in his level of work....Gucci, Versace, Prada, Micheal Kors, I only buy him good stuff with my own money.

I don't dress up like you all think, I dress very casual but I look nice.

He want me to look nice...he say he want me to look hot and sexy and I do for him and he, a lot of times choose clothes for me.

 

Anyway, he looks so good when he go to work and I get to see him few minutes of him looking nice and I can't ask o for a lunch date because he is super busy with meetings and all and most everyday, he have lunch meetings too with other business associates and with other executives ....he works 12 to 14 hours a day and all the executives work like that in his company.

 

we don't go out to eat during the work week...he hate to go out eat because he eats out a lot at work.

So only on weekends, we go out do shop and play around and go to dinner.

I am very supportive of his job but I miss him a lot and miss him all dress up...he look so hot.

Anyway, that is my story.

[d0nnivain]

Pitch the occasional dinner out -- maybe once per quarter as a compromise. You will get your man all decked out in his power suit but he won't have to do it too often.