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H really hurt my feelings...again

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Old 17th May 2005, 11:00 PM   #1
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H really hurt my feelings...again

I posted a few weeks ago about how my H called me and told me if I spent more time exercising and less time on the computer, I woulnd't be so big. I got a ton of replies. Some hurt, some ticked me off, some made me cry, and some made me want to work harder at loosing this weight. Since that post I have been eating healthier, and trying my best to fit in exercise every other day, whether it be walking, or resistance training w/ my elastic bands. Anyhow, I haven't lost much weight, about 3 lbs, but it's a start. I can't tell I have lost, but according to my scale, I have. My clothes aren't feeling much looser but 3 lbs isn't that much. This morning my H made this comment that hurt me so bad all I could do was cry. I have been working on loosing and all I get is this: "Boy, your getting big!" How the he!! am I suppose to react to that? I am trying my best by watching my calories, fats, carbs, and finally exercising and he says "Boy, your getting big!" Plz explain how I am suppose to react to this? All I could do is go to the bathroom and cry and he wanted to talk. I told him to leave me alone. He called me later and told me he was sorry, and he wants to help me loose the weight but he doesn't know how. Well, telling me I am BIG when I am trying my best DOESN'T help me.
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Old 18th May 2005, 2:57 AM   #2
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Losing weight is a very tough thing to do. It all has to do with habit. It was mean of your husband to say that though. But, Ghandi once said we must be the change we wish to see in others. So, maybe your husband should start exercising and eating healthier too. It probably wouldn't hurt him and it would make it easier for you if you had someone else to do this with.

One good tip for losing weight is to stop drinking pop (if you do) or any of those type drinks and start drinking ice cold water instead. It usually cuts out a lot of calories in a persons diet and, ice cold water actually burns a few calories because the body has to warm the water. And, drinking a lot of water (though it makes you pee a lot) helps your kidneys and liver funtion better and thus also burns more calories.
Have you ever dreamed a dream so wonderful that when you wake up, you just try to go back to sleep so you can keep on dreaming or, the life you live now is so painful, that you would rather spend the rest of your life dreaming? Let me tell you about my dream.

In my dream, my wife loves me like she used to
She is thankful to have someone like me who loves her so much
She realizes the man she has is so special to her that he is worth fighting for
In my dream we hold each other close and are so content to just be where we are
Our hands fit so perfectly together that no one could ever pull them apart
In my dream all that matters is us, the future is uncertain, but we donít care
Because we know the future contains the two of us together
When I dream all is well
The pain I go through cannot hurt me
The fear I go through cannot scare me
The loneliness I feel cannot touch me
But, when I wake up all the hurt I go through once again becomes reality
The uncertainty of my future with my wife slowly kills me
I hope and pray that these dreams will once again become reality
I try to fall back asleep hoping that my dreams will continue
And, even though I know that if they will continue, it will only be for a little while
At least the pain is kept away from me for this time
You see, most people live their dreams while they are awake
And have nightmares while they sleep
But, my nightmares take place while Iím awake
And my dreams are lived while I dream
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Old 18th May 2005, 6:40 AM   #3
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Tell him: "If you ever mention my weight again in any context, I will stop losing it and strat gaining it on purpose! Mind your own business! I am trying hard and I don't need your evil comments. It takes a lot of optimism, stamina, and motivation to stick to a diet and you're making me feel like I'll never make it. Haven't you heard of encouragement and faith? Idiot!"
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Old 18th May 2005, 8:27 AM   #4
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Here's what you do....If he ever says that again you have lines PREPARED. "Boy, your getting big!" He says...

YOU say "F*k off, you're acting like a real bastard!" (That may shock him and he'll realize he's being a *****)
Then walk out of the room. See, he is used to you crying and grown immune to it. SO get pissed off and FIGHT BACK! Get the control back.

You could also write him a letter, explaining how hard you've been trying to lose weight and he MUST support you through this, not make it harder for you. Tell him what an A-hole he's been in the past month or so.

Sorry that he's acting like a real jerk again. Hang in there.
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Old 18th May 2005, 9:36 AM   #5
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Next time he makes a comment like that to you, just tell him, "Wow and your weenie is shrinking!" Sorry couldn't resist.

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Old 18th May 2005, 11:22 AM   #6
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Like I said before- tell him-

Yeah, and if you EVER mention my weight to me again, I'm gonna lose some. Try about ________lbs (whatever he weighs). Tell him you can lose that real quick in divorce court.

What a jerk!
Sweetie, it's all true!
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Old 19th May 2005, 4:10 PM   #7
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Apparently these idiot husbands who comment "Oh, you're so FAT!" are trying to help!!!

I had one friend suggest that he was feeling fat himself, so he projected it onto you...or something like that.

It is mean that he said that. I had a grandma like that. She didn't mean anything by it, but it HURT when she'd say stuff like that. My husband does it!

He'll look at me and make a face like "WOW! YOU'RE HUGE!" I called him out on it the other day, and said, "I don't point out your fat places!" He said, "That's because I Know where they are..." I said, "You don't think I can look in the mirror and see where I'm fat!?!"

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