chocolate39 Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 My husband a couple of weeks ago decided to be REALLY sincere with me and told me that he doesn't love as much as I do. He told me he is going to the psychologist so he can build up that love and attachment. This last weeks I tried to think what possibly I have been doing to deteriorate his love for me. Seems to be working out, we talked on Sunday and he told me that he sees me as a partner. I feel good that things are working out but can love really grow? I feel so insecure now...I'm so anxious, always worried that he can fall in love with someone else...and cheat on me. I stopped telling him that I love him because I know he is not gonna answer me back...I'm just screaming inside for some love. I feel like I should just tell him to leave the house...but I have two little boys who die for him. Breaks my heart everytime... Any ideas/help? Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 How long have you both been married? Why aren't you both in marriage counseling? Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate39 Posted August 2, 2016 Author Share Posted August 2, 2016 We have been married for 4 years. And yes...we both agreed to start marriage counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 Marriage counseling is a good start. He hasn't given you any specific reasons why he feels the way he does? There is an underlying problem, and he needs to talk about it with you. Trust me I know how you feel. I have heard those same words that he said to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate39 Posted August 2, 2016 Author Share Posted August 2, 2016 I asked a million times already if he is cheating on me. He says no. So I believe him. For sure there are things that bother him and he told me all about them. I'm willing to try this but I just feel like I'm begging for his love...idk Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 He's trying. He is. Falling out of love is natural in long term relationships. We loose the passion and the butterflies and we think it means we aren't in love....when really, you're just moving on to a deeper love (if you can recognize the phases). You are lucky. Your husband told you how feels, he is seeking out help. He's making an effort. He may not realize or see it but that shows love. Real love I know it's hard not to be insecure. Get to a counselor yourself and see if he'll go to counseling together too. You've got a shot. Don't let your mind and anxiety make you run. Will your marriage survive? I don't know. But you want to be able to say you did everything possible to save it, don't you? I'll pray for you Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 I asked a million times already if he is cheating on me. He says no. So I believe him. For sure there are things that bother him and he told me all about them. I'm willing to try this but I just feel like I'm begging for his love...idk Sadly I suggest, hire a PI before you completely believe him.. So he fell out of love with you (or was he ever "in love" with you from the get go?) because of your flaws and things that he is bothered by? How serious were his complaints? It takes TWO to make a marriage work. Counseling is a must. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 Any other changes in his behavior? Changes in sex life? Signs of depression? That's a doozy to drop on you!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 (edited) I asked a million times already if he is cheating on me. He says no. So I believe him. For sure there are things that bother him and he told me all about them. I'm willing to try this but I just feel like I'm begging for his love...idk You need to give counseling a chance. At least a good year. This way you will know you did everything to save your relationship if it doesn't work out. It takes two to make a marriage work, and if he's not willing to give a chance then walk away. Why be with someone that doesn't love you? Trust me I have been in your shoes, so I know how your feeling. Edited August 2, 2016 by Soxfaninfl Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate39 Posted August 2, 2016 Author Share Posted August 2, 2016 Any other changes in his behavior? Changes in sex life? Signs of depression? That's a doozy to drop on you!!! He seems fine. I told him how I was feeling (about begging for love thing). He is trying to be more loving. We are actually having more sex than before...two-three times a week (both initiating not just me). But when he comes home he doesn't come and kiss me, he rarely hugs me unless I do it, stuff like that. But I know he is trying... As I'm writing this I starting to think that he is just not as loving as I am? And that is probably alright? But the fact that he told me that he doesn't love me enough is still there. Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 He seems fine. I told him how I was feeling (about begging for love thing). He is trying to be more loving. We are actually having more sex than before...two-three times a week (both initiating not just me). But when he comes home he doesn't come and kiss me, he rarely hugs me unless I do it, stuff like that. But I know he is trying... As I'm writing this I starting to think that he is just not as loving as I am? And that is probably alright? But the fact that he told me that he doesn't love me enough is still there. Read up on love languages . Both of you take the quiz. Find out why love language you are. Look into it, it might help both of you Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 I feel like I should just tell him to leave the house...but I have two little boys who die for him. Are they his kids? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate39 Posted August 3, 2016 Author Share Posted August 3, 2016 yes, they are his kids Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 How old are you two? Link to post Share on other sites
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