Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 So a month ago we, or I should say I, bought a car from my husband's friend who lives just outside our subdivision. This car was his friend's ex-wife's car that he was selling for her. We were looking for one and he happened to post on his Facebook page that he was selling his and my H contacted him and he brought it by that night. We each drove it and liked it, but it was to be my car. I wrote the check and gave it to the guy. I barely know the guy other than he races motorcycles with my husband. So I took the title he gave me and went to the DOL the next day to transfer it and was told it wasn't the most recent. Had H give him a call saying we needed a newer one, which he said he had but forgot to grab it. So the next morning at like 6:30 as I was about to head out the door from work he stops by and drops it off because he's just getting off work and only lives a couple of blocks away. H was still in bed at the time but I got it from him and he gave me his number so I could contact him if there were any more issues. Don't know why he gave me his number when H already had it. So the next day I go back to the DOL and they tell me there is a still a newer title than the one I have. I text the guy and say there should be another title. He apologizes profusely and says he'll call his ex and see if she has it. He texts me which doesn't come through and then calls saying she's going to the DOL to get an affidavit because she can't find it. Then an hour later or so texts and profusely apologizes for it and says she'll bring it up tomorrow or he'll go get it from her and bring it over. Well she's an hour away so just have her mail it! Finally get it and it's the right one and I go the title transferred about 2 weeks ago. No contact with the guy since then but yesterday I, not my husband, get a text from him saying: "Hi Mapparino (I'm paraphrasing there, but he used a nickname to what my name actually is like he was trying to be cute). Just wanted to let you know that I have some nanowax made for your car. If you want, I can swing by this weekend and get it all waxed up for ya if you want. I really don't have a life anyways LOL. It's made for black cars with 5 layers of clear coat. Anywho, just thought I'd say hi." Okay, I barely know the guy and he's getting all cutesy with me and wanting to come by and not just drop the wax off but wax the car?? My husband works this weekend as well so there's no way I wanted this guy coming over and why didn't he just contact my husband about it? I showed H the text and he got kind of upset thinking this guy is trying to creep in on me. He called him back and said "Dude you can drop off the wax but you don't need to come over and wax it yourself. That's a bit much. And if you want anything else just call or text ME okay?" I mean that's like an equivalent of me selling a car to my friend and her husband even though the husband is the guy actually buying it and then only texting the husband about the car! Anyone else find this odd?? Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Yeah, I don't think your car was the only thing he wanted to wax. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Oh yeah, obvious come-on to a married woman, 100% guaranteed. Your H responded appropriately and blew the whistle on this con. (If a well-meaning person wanted to drop off the wax as a nice gesture, he most certainly could have contacted your H, OR he could have contacted you with a neutral message. Actually, if he works with your H, the logical place to hand over the wax would be at their place of employment.) Any further attempts at communication, even if facially "innocent", need to be turned back harder IMO. Because now you understand his evil purpose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 Oh yeah, obvious come-on to a married woman, 100% guaranteed. Your H responded appropriately and blew the whistle on this con. (If a well-meaning person wanted to drop off the wax as a nice gesture, he most certainly could have contacted your H, OR he could have contacted you with a neutral message. Actually, if he works with your H, the logical place to hand over the wax would be at their place of employment.) Any further attempts at communication, even if facially "innocent", need to be turned back harder IMO. Because now you understand his evil purpose. No he doesn't work with the guy. My H works Saturday's and one Saturday he just stopped by looking for him and I told him he was working. Then another time he stopped by early evening before H got home. I thought nothing of it then but now I'm going to be creeped out if he stops by. He is just living a couple blocks away with his parents to apparently get back on his feet after his divorce and was supposed to move out in June but his dad got sick so now he's staying there longer. The fact that he's so close and could potentially just pop on by kind of makes me uncomfortable now. I don't want him to pop by some morning at 6:30 before I leave for work, nor do I want him popping by before my H gets home in the evening. The guy is almost 50 years old! Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 I agree with you....if he does show up....just don't answer the door, easy said and....tell your husband...he'll be more direct and forceful in the second messaging. PS... go easy on the almost 50 remark....just kidding. Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Hmmmm. I don't know. I don't see anything overtly suggestive in what he wrote. It may be that he is just awkward. Awkward people sometimes come on strong when they don't mean to. He may or may not have been trying to hit on you, but I just don't see it. I wouldn't get too worked up about it if I were you. The msg he sent could have been seen by some as flirtatious, or it could have just been from an over-eager people pleaser with nerdy tenancies trying to sound cool. He may be one of those clueless people who just don't understand social protocol. They do exist, and they are usually harmless. I wouldn't worry about it. I actually have a friend like this, who is the nicest guy, but he, like this friend of your husband's, is very disorganized, absent minded and very socially awkward. Always sticking his foot in his mouth and saying inappropriate things at inappropriate times. He hangs out with me because I'm his social visa of sorts. Why are this guy and his wife divorcing? Have you asked your husband? He may just be lonely, and you and your husband are the only social outlets he has. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 I agree with you....if he does show up....just don't answer the door, easy said and....tell your husband...he'll be more direct and forceful in the second messaging. PS... go easy on the almost 50 remark....just kidding. Problem is we usually keep the front door open when we are home because the cats go in and out there and it's just a nice breeze. I mean I'm sure i'd hear him pull up, but I wouldn't shut the door on him. Also, the 50 comment (I know you were just kidding) but I mean c'mon...he's getting a little old to be fishing! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 [quote=Cephalopod;6986646 Why are this guy and his wife divorcing? Have you asked your husband? He and his wife have been divorced for a couple of years now. Not sure what was behind it. I think this is his 2nd divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 He and his wife have been divorced for a couple of years now. Not sure what was behind it. I think this is his 2nd divorce. Well, it may be that both his ex wives got tired of his weird ways. Or he may have been cheating on both of them. Your husband should know his friend, and if you have doubts about this guy your hubby needs to set him straight. The waxing the car thing is unusual, but if it was to your benefit and didn't cost you anything...so what? I wonder if this guy may have Aspergers or Autism Spectrum. That can cause people to act strangely and do and say inappropriate things. I have mentioned to my own friend that he might want to get tested for Aspergers, because he has always been socially awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 Well, it may be that both his ex wives got tired of his weird ways. Or he may have been cheating on both of them. Your husband should know his friend, and if you have doubts about this guy your hubby needs to set him straight. The waxing the car thing is unusual, but if it was to your benefit and didn't cost you anything...so what? I wonder if this guy may have Aspergers or Autism Spectrum. That can cause people to act strangely and do and say inappropriate things. I have mentioned to my own friend that he might want to get tested for Aspergers, because he has always been socially awkward. I guess saying he's my husband's "friend" may be going too far. They only know each other from racing and this guy has been over maybe 4 or 5 times for brief visits in the past year to talk about motorcycles since we found out he was living just a couple blocks away. And they are never planned visits, it's just him stopping by on his way home. Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 ITA w cephalopod. I don't see his text as obvious flirting or a come on. Apparently, OP, you are getting some kind of vibe from him. Don't ignore your gut feeling, but I would be open to innocent explanations. Also, I feel like you must be around 11 years old or something to act like people in their 40's are too old to have romantic interests. Maybe he's kind of taking care of you in a fatherly way by offering to wax your car. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 I guess saying he's my husband's "friend" may be going too far. They only know each other from racing and this guy has been over maybe 4 or 5 times for brief visits in the past year to talk about motorcycles since we found out he was living just a couple blocks away. And they are never planned visits, it's just him stopping by on his way home. Well if that's the case then tell hubby to nix him. No reason to keep scary people in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 ITA w cephalopod. I don't see his text as obvious flirting or a come on. Apparently, OP, you are getting some kind of vibe from him. Don't ignore your gut feeling, but I would be open to innocent explanations. Also, I feel like you must be around 11 years old or something to act like people in their 40's are too old to have romantic interests. Maybe he's kind of taking care of you in a fatherly way by offering to wax your car. Well sure older people have romantic interests but to think about moving in on a friend's spouse at that age is a bit odd. Maybe I just grew up around good people and don't realize how many older people do that! I am in my 40s and there's no way I'd ever consider doing that Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Well sure older people have romantic interests but to think about moving in on a friend's spouse at that age is a bit odd. Maybe I just grew up around good people and don't realize how many older people do that! I am in my 40s and there's no way I'd ever consider doing that Well I wasn't there, and I'm not saying you are wrong, but from what you described I just don't see where he was hitting on you. You know some older guys just get weird. Too much pot, alcohol, loose living and such over the years can melt your brain and make you act weird. As for the car, I have sold people used cars of mine, and I always make sure they are cleaned inside and out, waxed, and vacuumed before I turn them over. I would be embarrassed to sell someone a car that didn't look as good as it could. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 Well I wasn't there, and I'm not saying you are wrong, but from what you described I just don't see where he was hitting on you. You know some older guys just get weird. Too much pot, alcohol, loose living and such over the years can melt your brain and make you act weird. As for the car, I have sold people used cars of mine, and I always make sure they are cleaned inside and out, waxed, and vacuumed before I turn them over. I would be embarrassed to sell someone a car that didn't look as good as it could. Well yeah BEFORE you turn a car over is the key! Not a month later and you decide "Oh hey I should see if they want me to stop by and wax a car that no longer belongs to me". Even previous it didn't belong to him, it belonged to his ex! Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Can you deal directly with the woman who owns the car? Having ANY people in the middle creates chaos. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 Can you deal directly with the woman who owns the car? Having ANY people in the middle creates chaos. I had never met her so dealt with the car through him. She is an hour away and he is 1 minute away. However, there is no need to deal with either of them anymore as the car is now ours. Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Problem is we usually keep the front door open when we are home because the cats go in and out there and it's just a nice breeze. I mean I'm sure i'd hear him pull up, but I wouldn't shut the door on him. Also, the 50 comment (I know you were just kidding) but I mean c'mon...he's getting a little old to be fishing! Tapping out on this one and going back to my rocking chair to watch Lawrence Welk...lol Being 50 something looks way different once you arrive than it did up to that point. People of all ages do inappropriate things....no age group is exempt from acting like an a$$. Not saying definitively that he was or wasn't but say'n. Have a nice day. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Also, the 50 comment (I know you were just kidding) but I mean c'mon...he's getting a little old to be fishing! Hey! I'm 55 and still fish! I just don't fish in other people's ponds. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 Hey! I'm 55 and still fish! I just don't fish in other people's ponds. Yeah that's great, I'm all for it, as long as you aren't going after another's spouse! Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Cheaters are gonna cheat no matter how old they are. Age has nothing to do with integrity. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Is this guy in need of money? it could be that he wants to get paid for it...maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Yeah, I don't think your car was the only thing he wanted to wax. :lmao: Listen to GunslingerRoland. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Hey! I'm 55 and still fish! I just don't fish in other people's ponds. This. People can flirt, date and find love at any age. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 This. People can flirt, date and find love at any age. I understand that, but WITH SINGLE PEOPLE!! Link to post Share on other sites
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