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Not sure how I can tell her


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MrCongeniality

I lost my job earlier this week. I haven't told my wife because I know how she'll react she'll start blaming herself. My wife acts self absorbed and entitled but she's more sensitive and fragile than she lets on. I'm planning on telling her today I just don't want her to think its her fault.

 

My wife doesn't have a socially acceptable job and it caused problems for me at work so did her history and her family. The bottom line being that my boss didn't like I was with someone like her and kept encouraging me to leave her. I didn't I assumed things were good though then I got fired and I know my boss said it was for one reason but I know that was just an excuse for my boss to fire me.

 

My wife thinks I've been going to work when really I've been job hunting.

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understand50
I lost my job earlier this week. I haven't told my wife because I know how she'll react she'll start blaming herself. My wife acts self absorbed and entitled but she's more sensitive and fragile than she lets on. I'm planning on telling her today I just don't want her to think its her fault.

 

My wife doesn't have a socially acceptable job and it caused problems for me at work so did her history and her family. The bottom line being that my boss didn't like I was with someone like her and kept encouraging me to leave her. I didn't I assumed things were good though then I got fired and I know my boss said it was for one reason but I know that was just an excuse for my boss to fire me.

 

My wife thinks I've been going to work when really I've been job hunting.

 

MrCongeniality,

 

Sorry for your troubles. BTW, I thought you were in Law enforcement? What does your unions say? You may find MissCongeniality stronger then you think. Sometimes, when confronted with adversity, people and dig up the most and best of themselves. In the long run, that may be a good thing, as now things have changed, this may help with the overall marriage. You sound like a competent guy, I am sure there is a better job for you.

 

I wish you the best of luck, and a better job.......

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todreaminblue

im sorry you lost yoru job...as far as your wife thinking that she lost the job for you ......you basically say it is your wife's fault in this post.....

 

honestly your ex boss is the one with the problem and its probably better for your marriage that you have to look for another job....be honest with your wife and let her know its for the best....and i wish you well...deb

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TrustedthenBusted

Honestly, you two baffle me. What is your goal? Is it:

 

1. Tell her, and then show her this post to prove that it really concerned you?

 

2. Let her (undoubtedly) find this post on her own, thus, releiving you of he pressure of bringing it up?

 

3. Plant the seed that it really IS her fault, by coming on here to expressly say that it isn't?

 

 

They way you two come on here and dump out your purses is not healthy in my opinion. It's like you both talk to the same bartender, but not eachother.

 

 

 

My advice ( since you are asking ) is to quit this place for a bit. And every time you feel like telling US something, you tell HER instead.

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BettyDraper

When you made the decision to marry a woman who is a sex worker, you had to realize that many people would have an issue with such a stigmatized profession. For that reason, your wife is not at fault for you being fired. Responsibility rests with you and your ex boss.

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Sorry if I'm not familiar with your backstory like other posters are.

Why did the people at your work know that your wife is a sex worker in the first place?

Maybe at the next job, you don't share that info.

 

Sorry you lost your job.

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When you made the decision to marry a woman who is a sex worker, you had to realize that many people would have an issue with such a stigmatized profession. For that reason, your wife is not at fault for you being fired. Responsibility rests with you and your ex boss.

 

Um, perhaps he didn't know that she was a sex worker until recently.

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pianomanwoman

If your wife is the breadwinner while you look for a new job, that doesn't necessarily mean you're a man-ho or a pimp. Don't listen to your ex coworkers get a new job. Don't be ashamed by your wife, and remember, Ron Jeremy makes LESS than his women counterparts. Be supportive of her while you are unemployed in other ways, and get a better job than the old one! Don't talk to anyone who fired you. That's not normal.

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I lost my job earlier this week. I haven't told my wife because I know how she'll react she'll start blaming herself. My wife acts self absorbed and entitled but she's more sensitive and fragile than she lets on. I'm planning on telling her today I just don't want her to think its her fault.

 

My wife doesn't have a socially acceptable job and it caused problems for me at work so did her history and her family. The bottom line being that my boss didn't like I was with someone like her and kept encouraging me to leave her. I didn't I assumed things were good though then I got fired and I know my boss said it was for one reason but I know that was just an excuse for my boss to fire me.

 

My wife thinks I've been going to work when really I've been job hunting.

 

But it is her fault, right? It's also her fault that her child suffered from her line of "work" as well.

 

From her thread here she didn't seem to think it was a problem - so this could be an opportunity for her to admit that her work does indeed, affect her family negatively.

 

I hope you find a new job soon!

 

I can't imagine why you stay with a gal that has that for her 'job'.

 

 

You don't seem to want to leave her, right?

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BettyDraper
Um, perhaps he didn't know that she was a sex worker until recently.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/familial/family/579435-mother-law-hates-me

 

Based on this thread, the OP has known for at least two months. Not sure exactly when his wife's profession was revealed to him though.

 

Firing an employee over their spouse's profession is wrong and ridiculous. The boss should have minded his own business. I retract my wording about knowingly marrying a sex worker but my general response still stands: Being married to someone who is in a maligned profession will have social consequences. I would say the same thing if the OP's wife was a drug dealer. My opinion isn't about shaming sex workers.

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ChickiePops
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/familial/family/579435-mother-law-hates-me

 

Based on this thread, the OP has known for at least two months. Not sure exactly when his wife's profession was revealed to him though.

 

Firing an employee over their spouse's profession is wrong and ridiculous. The boss should have minded his own business. I retract my wording about knowingly marrying a sex worker but my general response still stands: Being married to someone who is in a maligned profession will have social consequences. I would say the same thing if the OP's wife was a drug dealer. My opinion isn't about shaming sex workers.

 

According to his wife, who also posts here, they were married before she admitted to being a sex worker. He appears to have taken it in stride though.

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BettyDraper
According to his wife, who also posts here, they were married before she admitted to being a sex worker. He appears to have taken it in stride though.

 

Yes, that's why I took back my statement about knowingly marrying a sex worker. The OP was also very upset about being lied to which makes sense.

 

The fact is he still chose to stay with his wife after finding out about her deception and the way she earned income.

There are consequences for being married to someone with a controversial profession. I don't think the OP's boss was right for firing him due to his wife's way of earning money but the situation is an example of what can occur when someone chooses to marry or stay with someone who is in a stigmatized line of work.

Edited by BettyDraper
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ChickiePops
Yes, that's why I took back my statement about knowingly marrying a sex worker. The OP was also very upset about being lied to which makes sense.

 

The fact is he still chose to stay with his wife after finding out about her deception and the way she earned income.

There are consequences for being married to someone with a controversial profession. I don't think the OP's boss was right for firing him due to his wife's way of earning money but the situation is an example of what can occur when someone chooses to marry or stay with someone who is in a stigmatized line of work.

 

My bad..must have missed this. Apologies! :)

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BettyDraper
My bad..must have missed this. Apologies! :)

 

Not a problem at all. We all miss details when ongoing stories are shared here.

 

OP, I don't think that sharing your job loss on LS was a good choice.

Your wife posts here so it would have been better just to tell her yourself.

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MissCongeniality

Just so everybody knows he told me before I read this. I still am very upset he posted about it. Not to mention he didn't tell me he lost his job as soon as it happened.

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Just so everybody knows he told me before I read this. I still am very upset he posted about it. Not to mention he didn't tell me he lost his job as soon as it happened.

 

Lots of husbands sometimes wait to tell their spouses about losing their employment. They wait to figure out the best way to tell them. I don't see where he was trying to avoid it.

 

So what are you going to do? Divorce him?

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MissCongeniality
Lots of husbands sometimes wait to tell their spouses about losing their employment. They wait to figure out the best way to tell them. I don't see where he was trying to avoid it.

 

So what are you going to do? Divorce him?

 

Why would I divorce him? I'm just upset he did not tell me sooner.

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Why would I divorce him? I'm just upset he did not tell me sooner.

 

Good! He'll land on his feet. Don't get too overly concerned about it. I've lost jobs before, and the longest I've been out of work was maybe two months.

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