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We don't have sex but he looks at porn all of the time and flirts with other women


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Old 10th July 2016, 5:33 AM   #1
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We don't have sex but he looks at porn all of the time and flirts with other women

Hello, everyone. I am a 31 year old woman living in France and my husband is French. I am an American.
We have been married for five years and at the beginning, we had sex regularly. Our sex life was good. Gradually, it diminished down to no sex at all.
I eventually discovered that he was looking at porn and had a big collection of photographs of women. He also on a daily basis flirts with other women on Facebook and is friends with many, many women he doesn't know, from all over the world. He says sexual things to them and even goes so far as to say that he loves them. I find this last bit especially hurtful.
I should add that he is much older than I am, 70 to be exact. Maybe this is a factor in all of this mess?
What can I do? What are your opinions? It is a serious matter to me and I am worried and wish that we could have sex again. Thank you!
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Old 10th July 2016, 9:59 AM   #2
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What does he say when you speak to him directly about wanting to rekindle your sex life?

I suspect that he may be cheating.
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Old 10th July 2016, 11:00 AM   #3
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Rekindle

Thanks for the reply! Whenever I speak to him about wanting to have sex, he says that he isn't in the mood for it at the moment. If I mention that he looks at porn or talks to these women, he becomes emotional and sad and often will cry. It makes talking to him about wanting sex very hard to do. He says that we will have sex, again, but I have my doubts since it has been so long. He is a shy person about his sexuality and never asks for anything when it comes to sex. It is not easy to find him at a time when he does want to start anything sexual with me. I know that he has the capacity to be sexual, since he does still look at pornography and he does masturbate.
It is so mind boggling to me. I ask him if he is attracted to me and he says that he is. But all of this makes me feel undesirable.
I hope that answered your question!
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Old 10th July 2016, 11:43 AM   #4
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You married a man old enough to be your grandfather. Surely you knew the sex would stop long before you were ready for it to stop.

Porn aside, you'll be lucky if you aren't widowed before long, so either enjoy what you have or leave, but don't expect an elderly man far past his prime to satisfy the desires of a woman just entering her prime.
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Old 10th July 2016, 11:52 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarionTesse View Post
Thanks for the reply! Whenever I speak to him about wanting to have sex, he says that he isn't in the mood for it at the moment. If I mention that he looks at porn or talks to these women, he becomes emotional and sad and often will cry. It makes talking to him about wanting sex very hard to do.
I guess he is either playing the victim to stop you talking about it and get out of taking responsibility for his actions, or he is genuinely upset about his inability to satisfy you and sex is a painful subject for him.

At 31, you cannot just write off your sex life as if it doesn't matter and sit back and watch whilst your husband is apparently getting his jollies elsewhere.
YOU either have to get through to him how important this is to you, how hurt you are, and get him to open up about it.
OR if he remains uncommunicative, you really need to end this.
OR you just accept the status quo.
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Old 10th July 2016, 11:55 AM   #6
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It's over, pack up and come back home, file for divorce.

You will never have sex with him again and if ever you do it will be a pity Fck on his part to shut you up.

Withholding sex from a partner is considered mental cruelty.
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Old 10th July 2016, 5:32 PM   #7
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31 and 70?

I get that that man probably is super accomplished that's why he is able to get such a young wife.

but...wow.......wow...wow....
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Old 10th July 2016, 5:38 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by MarionTesse View Post
I eventually discovered that he was looking at porn and had a big collection of photographs of women. He also on a daily basis flirts with other women on Facebook and is friends with many, many women he doesn't know, from all over the world. He says sexual things to them and even goes so far as to say that he loves them.
Not condoning ignoring you, but is it possible that, at age 70, online flirting and cyber-cheating are all that he's sexually capable of? How is his health?

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