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How to make things work? Long read.


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 8th July 2016, 4:27 PM   #16
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Oh and I have no idea what IC or FOO Stand for.


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Sports..you don't have to be talented, an athlete, or even play the sport to coach at the house/rec level. You just have to take charge.

If you're the Mcguyver type, then get into scouting or the middle school science/robotics club when the time comes......for G**'s sake, take charge and do something.
While these are great activities, I'm not entirely sure what they would have to do with my marriage.
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Old 8th July 2016, 4:46 PM   #17
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Oh and I have no idea what IC or FOO Stand for.
IC is Individual Counseling as opposed to MC, the marital version.

FOO is Family of Origin and the issues that come with growing up in a dysfunctional, negative or critical environment:

What is Family of Origin Work? | LoveAndLifeToolbox.com

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Old 8th July 2016, 5:44 PM   #18
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Sorry if it comes off that way. I'm not shooing away advice, only seeking out something that works best, since I've tried many things already. Things HAVE improved somewhat, but I want to keep that going.

The single biggest thing I am looking for, is an activity/hobby that I can do at home with her, that appeals to someone who lacks artistic talent of any sort(music, cooking, etc), and someone who is extremely artistically talented, that's not simply movies/TV.

And I know that's a tall order. The Warhammer figurines thing was a great idea, just not workable for us. Same with the idea about old pictures - unfortunately her bitterness from the years turned that against me.

I know this is very much an uphill struggle, which is the main reason I'm seeking advice in the first place.
This indecisiveness is one of the reasons you are in the situation you are in.
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Old 8th July 2016, 5:49 PM   #19
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Oh and I have no idea what IC or FOO Stand for.




While these are great activities, I'm not entirely sure what they would have to do with my marriage.
Because these are family activities that you can involve your wife in and have something in common. If she wants to coach, be the assistant or the manager and vice versa, and it involves your children. Make their sports your hobby with her. I am just wrapping up 18+ yrs of this with 4yrs to go and it has worked like a champ..my wife and I had too many friends to count doing this, my children the same with friends, along with all the other benefits that were mentioned. We had something to connect with everyday of the week.

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Old 11th July 2016, 12:06 PM   #20
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So....


Other ideas:


Wine painting (even if you don't like it, the wine makes it fun)?
Work together to write your own 'game of thrones' short story?
Again, exercise games?
Vacation to Rome?
Comic/starwars/startrek-convention?
Orgy?
Sexy costumes?
Role-playing? (i.e. detective at the bar)
Meetup groups for charades?
Cement tiki island head backyard sculptures (real easy just youtube) -- or other similar decorations
Both volunteer
yard sale-ing


As far as the warhammer figurines, it doesn't have to necessarily be a 'will you do it with me?' discussion. It could be you get one or two and start, and then ask for her 'help'... you know, because she's the 'better painter'....


I mean, you said you are looking for something you both could do together, or something to remind her of the magic you once had... maybe just write down your version of the day you met on the computer and when it's done 'accidentally' leave it up? It may not be something you do together as much as something you do that kickstarts her renewed/refreshed interest...
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