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I have been found guilty


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Let me start by saying i have been married 39 yrs and have never been unfaithful...

 

Like others i assume , i am on the computer quite a bit, as my wife is also on her ipad, every day.

 

Today i give her my computer to transfer some pictures she wanted...she leaves and about 10 mins goes by she comes back , and shoves the ipad in front of me and says ..whats this..

here in my mail is this letter..

 

with the subject line.. Hi Love

 

How are you dear! I am Andria. I am so thrilled to see you here. I’ve always dreamed of such a strong man like you. And it is simply wonderful that we live in the same city, and most probably we are so near to each other. It’s great that we are so near, and we can reach each other easily. If you feel bored so we can have romantic dinner. It will be really wonderful, won’t it? It is easy to find me here at this site I’ll be waiting for your soonest reply eagerly and I’ll be looking forward to our date. Ciao

 

 

So i said to my wife, its spam, she walks off mad not believing me.. I sat there for 15 mins wondering what the heck happened and thinking , i am not guilty of anything..

 

After about 15 mins i went to confront her, she said why did you wait so long, deleting messages...I said no you can look at my messages i did not delete any and i have nothing to hide..i did not do anything, its spam, i found another one i deleted and it said the very same thing with a different name...

 

She does not believe me, i am guilty, she does not know what spam is vs a real letter...tried to explain, but she is set in her ways..

 

Now i feel everything i do will be analyzed, 39 yrs and i will not live like this. for your information, i am retired, my wife is also home, i am home all the time, except for one afternoon, i go out to play music at a guys house with others..

 

All i can think is she is a very insecure person, and always has been...but i have given her no reason to treat me this way, i do not deserve this at all..

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Something is going on here to get her to react like this. Is there any possibility she has had a fling in the past. For her to got to this extreme is troublesome.

 

I get the same in my spam folder at times, my wife or myself delete them to keep the kids from seeing the trash. My wife is not up on the tech just like your wife but has never done to me what your wife is doing.

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greaterdevil

maybe try putting the exact text of the message into a search engine? possibly it will come up on some sort of spam filter website, and thus "exonerating" you. I get that stuff all the time. What a headache.

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LastAcorn99

I’m sorry to hear this. I can understand your hurt and disappointment at your wife’s attitude over this matter. If you’re unable to convince her, I would suggest that you take the help of a friend, whom she trusts, to explain the situation to her. You do not want to let a silly spam e-mail spoil your 39 years of marriage. I hope you’ll not take any hasty decision over this. Please keep us updated. Sending you prayers.

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Now i feel everything i do will be analyzed, 39 yrs and i will not live like this.

 

Funny how you don't say "I love my wife" or "I'd hate to have this impact our marriage". You seem as defensive as she is misinformed and neither of you seem especially connected to each other or the marriage.

 

You can be right (which you are) and still be unhappy. Maybe this should be a springboard to a dialog about your relationship. After 39 years, I'd guess there's lots at stake...

 

Mr. Lucky

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T-16bullseyeWompRat

Usually when people fly off the handle about their partner cheating at the dumbest reasons, they are the ones who are actually cheating. Not saying she is, but this is so common, its worth considering the possibility anyway.

 

I agree, just type the text in on a google search. If its happened to you it has happened to many. Someone will have posted up the same exact message you got and confirm it is spam.

 

I can fully understand why you are pissed off at this idiotic and baseless accusation. I too would be highly ticked. Better believe there would be an argument (read fight) coming from my end. Fuly justified i might add.

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Your wife must be pretty thick if she is even considering that email. It's full of gramatical errors, doesn't she realise that it's from a black man in Nigeria after your money? The person writing it can't even speak English.

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maybe she is not that familiar with the net,so she can not see how obviouslt spam it is,give her time

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Sounds like she was just looking for a reason to pick a fight, and chose this as one.

 

 

Quick question, did she just happen to need some 'cooling off' time that required her to go out of the house for a few hours?

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So today she says i wish you could see my side of it...this message pops up and it shocked me....I said the message pop up and you said guilty...

 

She said then after she showed me the message it took me 15 or so mins to go out and confront her...that bothered her.

 

I said i did not run out and defend myself because i did nothing wrong.....when i did go out the first thing she said was , you were deleting messages...

 

So after awhile she did apologize, but i think she is not really convinced i am innocent.

She is so slow about things, would make a terrible detective...i told her to send a reply back and ask for a phone number...of course she did not...

 

She is the type of person , that only leaves the house to get groceries.. has no friends, will not go on a trip alone...she is always thinking something bad is going to happen..

She would never have an affair...i know men have said this before, but my wife is here all the time...she is very old school homebody type...she says thank god for my boring life...she will not go on a vacation with me..she has no desire to travel..

 

For the most part our marriage is ok, i mean 39 yrs is not 15, we are both older and we live a quiet life.. But i told her today.. If she starts questioning me about this and that and i get that feeling you think i am being unfaithful...i will be done, i am not living the rest of my life under suspicion , i dont care if we have got to 39 yrs , its not worth it, i would rather live alone....

I Did do a search but nothing came up...so she is going to have to figure it out....

 

NVT, no she never left , she just went and laid down...

Edited by rick2016
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JAbba2gEther
So today she says i wish you could see my side of it...this message pops up and it shocked me....I said the message pop up and you said guilty...

 

She said then after she showed me the message it took me 15 or so mins to go out and confront her...that bothered her.

 

I said i did not run out and defend myself because i did nothing wrong.....when i did go out the first thing she said was , you were deleting messages...

 

So after awhile she did apologize, but i think she is not really convinced i am innocent.

She is so slow about things, would make a terrible detective...i told her to send a reply back and ask for a phone number...of course she did not...

 

She is the type of person , that only leaves the house to get groceries.. has no friends, will not go on a trip alone...she is always thinking something bad is going to happen..

She would never have an affair...i know men have said this before, but my wife is here all the time...she is very old school homebody type...she says thank god for my boring life...she will not go on a vacation with me..she has no desire to travel..

 

For the most part our marriage is ok, i mean 39 yrs is not 15, we are both older and we live a quiet life.. But i told her today.. If she starts questioning me about this and that and i get that feeling you think i am being unfaithful...i will be done, i am not living the rest of my life under suspicion , i dont care if we have got to 39 yrs , its not worth it, i would rather live alone....

I Did do a search but nothing came up...so she is going to have to figure it out....

 

NVT, no she never left , she just went and laid down...

Let me start by saying i have been married 39 yrs and have never been unfaithful...

 

Like others i assume , i am on the computer quite a bit, as my wife is also on her ipad, every day.

 

Today i give her my computer to transfer some pictures she wanted...she leaves and about 10 mins goes by she comes back , and shoves the ipad in front of me and says ..whats this..

here in my mail is this letter..

I said i did not run out and defend myself because i did nothing wrong.....when i did go out the first thing she said was , you were deleting messages...

 

So after awhile she did apologize, but i think she is not really convinced i am innocent.

She is so slow about things, would make a terrible detective...i told her to send a reply back and ask for a phone number...of course she did not...

 

She is the type of person , that only leaves the house to get groceries.. has no friends, will not go on a trip alone...she is always thinking something bad is going to happen..

She would never have an affair...i know men have said this before, but my wife is here all the time...she is very old school homebody type...she says thank god for my boring life...she will not go on a vacation with me..she has no desire to travel..

Hello, Rick2016

I would like to congratulate you to being loyal to one woman for over 39 years in marriage. The average marriage survival rate in the United States is apparently 8.5 years. So, for you to be happily married for 39 years is a great example to your children and grandchildren, a great testimony to the younger generation who believe that marriage is an option and that the important factor is feeling 'in love' and not commitment and to our society as a whole. Congratulations.

 

In an age when people are considering 'open marriage' to supposedly enrich their lives; your taking offence at your wife's questioning of your fidelity and loyalty is also refreshing. I am a 40+ male who love to find examples of marriages that are working, and who love to speak with people who are old and married to only one person for the entirety of their lives. I have been married for sixteen years, and long for the day I can have an anniversary of forty years with my wife .

 

It is great that you have followed up the comment with your 'making up'. Your wife apologised, everything seems to have settled. You recognise your wife is totally devoted to you and has very little friendships away from you. In other words, she values you so much and sees you as her best friend. That is what I see as what marriage is all about. I gather that you have been used to forgiving her, as you already know she is not perfect. Forgiveness would have to be in your vocabulary after 39 years together. I'm sure you have had an occasional disagreement with her over such a long time?

 

 

All the best, and I look forward to hearing more positive life stories such as the one you gave us the privilege of hearing about. Your own marriage.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Poppyolive

Those spam emails try to sell me penis enlargers, male Viagra....I ain't got no penis! Whhhhaat?!!

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bathtub-row

Your wife sounds shallow and boring but if you've dealt with that for 39 years, then I'm sure you're used to it. I think your response was great about not being willing to live under suspicion. I'm sure she'll get over it. She's got nowhere else to go anyway.

 

Btw she's probably insecure because she knows how she limits your life -- no travel, etc -- and probably worries about how that affects you and how it makes her look. You both seem happy. Hopefully she'll let this go. I'm actually surprised she hasn't gotten emails like that herself.

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Thankyou Jabba, very nice post.............We have had many battles over the years, there was times , when i came home from work, i did not know if she would be there.

 

All these fights are part of a working marriage, they never involved hitting, throwing anything , name calling or about other men or women.

We never fought about money, the fights were the silly ones that meant alot at the time, but now i cannot even remember, seemed so important at the time

 

We dont fight much at all these days, we just seem to get up , and do our own thing, i like music she likes flowers..

We love our little granddaughter and enjoy eating out.

 

She may seem to be very boring but that dont seem to bother me,i guess i dont mind the quiet life either.

 

As far as travel goes she does not mind if i go on a trip by myself, Every summer for the past 3 yrs i flew out to see my brother and family...she will not get on an airplane .

 

 

 

So yes all is forgiven, i think...she seems to be back to herself....but the whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth, just how quick a wife of 39 yrs can turn on me so quick...and i have really given her no reasons, like i said, i am here day and night 6 days a week, one afternoon i play music with some guys..thats my fun time out...

 

I will be watching for anything unusual in the future...BUT i really think she is just so insecure, and afraid...of if something ever happened.

 

Bathtub....to answer your question, her email she uses is not out there like mine, i have registered to alot of forums over the 10 yrs with my email address, she just started using the internet a couple years ago..her email is register with two web sites

 

Poppyolive... thanks for the laugh...lol

Edited by rick2016
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SincereOnlineGuy
Hi Love

 

How are you dear! I am Andria. I am so thrilled to see you here. I’ve always dreamed of such a strong man like you. And it is simply wonderful that we live in the same city, and most probably we are so near to each other. It’s great that we are so near, and we can reach each other easily. If you feel bored so we can have romantic dinner. It will be really wonderful, won’t it? It is easy to find me here at this site I’ll be waiting for your soonest reply eagerly and I’ll be looking forward to our date. Ciao

 

 

 

 

 

(I just want to see if that obvious and absurd bit of spam is more so when posted alone)

 

 

I can't fathom a real person buying into that (though of course real people do just that all the time - which is surely why that crap keeps circulating).

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Aw, isn't it a little bit sweet that she thinks you're the strong stud that this woman is after? She genuinely believes it! A little jealousy can be flattering. It can also ignite a spark :bunny:

 

Older people get scammed because, as a group, they aren't as savvy about the internet. This is your wife. She saw it and believed it. What a shock! Go to her and assure her that you are hers and hers alone :love:

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Cablebandit

My wife laughs at these emails as I get them as well. They are usually right behind some ED cure or make my penis 3" bigger in 2 weeks or somebody is sending me 40 million dollars.

 

I'm going to be rich, hard and covered in women according to spam...what's not to love.

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Guys, the OP's wife believed the spam email because she is "old" (no offense OP). I know people that still believe those spam emails from Nigerians that claim they are of Nigerian royalty. The people that believe these emails are generally older, and when someone is 39 years married, they are likely older than 39 :/

 

I completely believe the OP when he says his wife believes that the spam is not spam. The older and less tech savvy crowd tends to be more naive when it comes to email spam.

 

OP, I don't know what to tell you. I'm sure if I go through an old email account that I have not used in years that I will find the same email, with the same body, in my spam folder. The only thing that really ever changes is the girl's name.

 

Edit: maybe show her this thread?

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You are right, my wife is not internet savvy , she is 58 yrs old and quite naive about certain things, but does not fall for the scammers that phone..

 

She would not pick a fight out of boredom , she sincerely thought the spam email was from a women i had been talking to on the internet...And that thought anger her and she could not think of anything else...

 

I said , think about it... if i was doing such a thing, its just a matter of time before we would meet in person...now think really hard.. I am home all the time ...except for 5 hrs in the afternoon 1 day a week............. you have the address and phone number of were i am...and my cell is on...

 

Is this how a cheaper operates... if i was a cheater i would be making up excuses to leave...

You see she would make a terrible detective...lol

Edited by rick2016
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SincereOnlineGuy
Guys, the OP's wife believed the spam email because she is "old" (no offense OP).

 

 

Right,

 

but is it because the (OBviously young starlet) wanted her man

 

 

OR

 

 

merely because her time-addled brain cells are functioning less all the time?

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ChickiePops
Let me start by saying i have been married 39 yrs and have never been unfaithful...

 

Like others i assume , i am on the computer quite a bit, as my wife is also on her ipad, every day.

 

Today i give her my computer to transfer some pictures she wanted...she leaves and about 10 mins goes by she comes back , and shoves the ipad in front of me and says ..whats this..

here in my mail is this letter..

 

with the subject line.. Hi Love

 

How are you dear! I am Andria. I am so thrilled to see you here. I’ve always dreamed of such a strong man like you. And it is simply wonderful that we live in the same city, and most probably we are so near to each other. It’s great that we are so near, and we can reach each other easily. If you feel bored so we can have romantic dinner. It will be really wonderful, won’t it? It is easy to find me here at this site I’ll be waiting for your soonest reply eagerly and I’ll be looking forward to our date. Ciao

 

 

So i said to my wife, its spam, she walks off mad not believing me.. I sat there for 15 mins wondering what the heck happened and thinking , i am not guilty of anything..

 

After about 15 mins i went to confront her, she said why did you wait so long, deleting messages...I said no you can look at my messages i did not delete any and i have nothing to hide..i did not do anything, its spam, i found another one i deleted and it said the very same thing with a different name...

 

She does not believe me, i am guilty, she does not know what spam is vs a real letter...tried to explain, but she is set in her ways..

 

Now i feel everything i do will be analyzed, 39 yrs and i will not live like this. for your information, i am retired, my wife is also home, i am home all the time, except for one afternoon, i go out to play music at a guys house with others..

 

All i can think is she is a very insecure person, and always has been...but i have given her no reason to treat me this way, i do not deserve this at all..

 

The following things prove that that email is spam:

 

How are you dear! - the letter writer does not use your name

 

I am Andria. - the letter writer introduces herself to you as if you've never met or spoken before

 

I am so thrilled to see you here. - the letter writer doesn't mention where 'here' is

 

And it is simply wonderful that we live in the same city, and most probably we are so near to each other. - the letter writer doesn't mention what city (or what country) she's referring to, and she appears not to know where you live

 

It’s great that we are so near, and we can reach each other easily. If you feel bored so we can have romantic dinner. It will be really wonderful, won’t it? - English is clearly not this person's first language..that's not a reason why it's spam but the grammar is pretty atrocious and it bugs me so I'm mentioning it.

 

It is easy to find me here at this site - letter writer appears to be referring to a website here

 

Did you check the email address? It's usually pretty easy to tell if it's real or a bot.

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SincereOnlineGuy

 

She felt threatened , of loosing everything around her..She hates change, changing her life now would be devastating to her. She has no job, no income, everything here is taken care of , in other words, there is no place to go..She lacks for nothing,but she is also not a needy person, If she wants something i buy it for her or give her money.She is not a independent women,she is also anti-social, she depends on me, this is the way it is and i am fine and except her the way she is.

 

I know other women in our family that are the complete opposite, and i would not be able to keep up with them physically or financially.

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The following things prove that that email is spam:

 

How are you dear! - the letter writer does not use your name

 

I am Andria. - the letter writer introduces herself to you as if you've never met or spoken before

 

I am so thrilled to see you here. - the letter writer doesn't mention where 'here' is

 

And it is simply wonderful that we live in the same city, and most probably we are so near to each other. - the letter writer doesn't mention what city (or what country) she's referring to, and she appears not to know where you live

 

It’s great that we are so near, and we can reach each other easily. If you feel bored so we can have romantic dinner. It will be really wonderful, won’t it? - English is clearly not this person's first language..that's not a reason why it's spam but the grammar is pretty atrocious and it bugs me so I'm mentioning it.

 

It is easy to find me here at this site - letter writer appears to be referring to a website here

 

Did you check the email address? It's usually pretty easy to tell if it's real or a bot.

 

 

the email address is

 

[email protected]

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ChickiePops
the email address is

 

[email protected]

 

Yeah that is absolutely not a real email address. It's a spam bot.

 

If she still doesn't believe you, bring your wife to an IT expert (let her choose the person if she wants) and let them explain it to her

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