mc93 Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Hey guys, my SO (M) is going through a rough time. He's been feeling very depressed that it's leading him to purging after eating most meals. His self-esteem is so low and he confided in me that he feels worthless and disgusted with himself. He's evan begun questioning our relationship. He used to take antidepressants but stopped a couple months ago much to my protest saying he didn't want to rely on medication. He doesn't want to seek professional help and I don't know how to help him. It's very hard to watch him spiral downward but I want to be there for him. Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this? And if so, what can I do to support my SO during this time? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 He's non compliant with his meds and refusing medical help. Short of dragging him to a psychiatrist for his meds and psychologist who specialises in eating disorders, there's nothing you can do. This is a nightmare he's created for himself by refusing to seek help. He will probably need to hit rock bottom before he changes. About the only thing you could possibly try is tough love. Telling him that you can't stay in the relationship if he doesn't seek help. Hopefully he will care enough about the relationship to do what it takes, but don't pin all your hopes on it. But only do this if you're ready to walk away if/when he refuses. The other thing you must do now is look after yourself. It's so easy to be brought down by a partner who has mental health issues. Have good boundaries and know if/when it's time to walk away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Sorry to hear that you're in this painful situation. Depression and eating disorders are serious mental illnesses. Both can be fatal when extreme. Both can require hospitalisation when extreme. You can't help him. He can't help himself. So he is in urgent need of medical help. Without it, he will get worse and worse. You can't fix this. If I were in your position, and he absolutely refuses to talk to his doctor, I would take my concerns to his doctor myself. Try to get him to see his doctor, and if that fails, consider talking to his doctor yourself. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 About the only thing you could possibly try is tough love. Telling him that you can't stay in the relationship if he doesn't seek help. Hopefully he will care enough about the relationship to do what it takes, but don't pin all your hopes on it. But only do this if you're ready to walk away if/when he refuses. Beyond this, you have to take care to make sure you're not enabling his acting out through your care-taking. I'd look into support groups for people in similar situations, they'll offer more specific advice that you'll get here... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
sarah171 Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. It's always so hard to see someone we love suffer. The best thing that you can do for your SO is just be there for him like you are doing. When he feels badly about himself, reassure him that he's an amazing person. He most likely won't believe you, but that's ok, he needs to hear it anyway. Send him text messages, or leave him hand written notes just telling him what you love about him, and the things he has told you in the past that made you happy. This will help him realize that just the person that he is, is what makes him unique and makes others feel happy and loved. It has nothing to do with successes or failures, or physical appearance, but rather his heart, that makes him who he is. Since there's no way to force him to seek professional help, the best thing you can do is seek professional help for yourself. They can help you stay emotionally strong so you can be there for him. They can also give you some ideas on how you might be able to get through to him to encourage him to seek help for himself. The fact that you are seeking advice and are staying by his side through this difficult journey shows that you are a selfless person with a good heart. Your SO is very blessed to have you in his life. Hopefully this situation will get better quickly, I wish you both the best ((hugs)) Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 Basic low-level depression counter-measures are: Exercise Journaling Avoiding alcohol Eating right Getting 8+ hours of sleep If there are any of those you can assist with, then go for it. But like others have said.... ultimately if he wants to downward spiral, only he can pull himself out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
jenkins95 Posted July 6, 2016 Share Posted July 6, 2016 mc93 I sympathise with you and your SO as i am experiencing similar issues and have just started a thread on it. Perhaps any responses may also help you both? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/587165-i-am-physical-mess-after-my-affair-need-turn-around Good luck anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
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