itstupid Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Hello. I'm in a 2 and a half year relationship... We love each other, we had many ups and downs in these two years... We had a "break" a few weeks ago and recovered just now, it was about having stupid fights. The thing is... We're still on this "break" but we do know we will get back together in a few days, but there's something bugging me and it always bugged me actually. Whenever i travel, i always want him to come with me, i always consider him for EVERYTHING. He doesn't. Just now, his mother (who's a complete BITCH) told him that his family was going on a trip for two weeks, obviously he would go too. he said yes... And i thought that since we are in one of these "downs", he would say no and stay here to try to make things better. But no. According to him, is just a family trip and two weeks on a trip can't change his feelings for me. It's bugging me because first of all; i feel like he doesn't want me on this kind od trips, i know we're on a break, but in two years, he barely asked me to go on a trip with him like 3 times... And we only did it once. And me? I told him a thousand times i wanted to do many trips with him, we even went to new zealand together because I ASKED HIM TO COME WITH ME. I know i shouldn't be waiting for any kind of invitation since we're on this "break", but... It just hurts. And the stupid feeling won't go away, and i feel like i'm the one who's too attached. Am i over reacting? Like, idk, is this normal and i am the one who's living in some kind of retarded fairy tale where the guy is all over the girl and would die for her? I know he loves me, i'm 100% sure. But i don't understand this kind of behaviour, i love him too and i would take him everywhere with me in a heartbeat. And yes, we talked about this several times but he just seems to... Ignore it. Or he says that he does, but it just doesn't happen... I swear it hurts too much, i hate feeling like the one who's too attached, it sucks! what should i do? Please be nice Link to post Share on other sites
Anderlie Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 *gif of Ross Geller screaming 'we were ON A BREAK!'* Anyway. OP you're either on a break or not. If you are then really you can't blame the guy for actually, you know, taking a break. If you're not then, well, don't say you are and expect him to behave as if you're a couple again. On fact a lot of what you're written seems to demonstrate you expect him to magically know what it is you want and how to deliver it. You need to communicate too. And I must say you seem like you have a somewhat unrealistic idea of how relationships go. I'm not saying your boyfriend is necessarily an awesome guy but it's not healthy or sustainable to expect him to be all over you all the time, it sounds very smothering. And the fact is, you've been fighting but you instantly want to go back to this lovey dovey couple thing - sounds like you like drama for the sake of drama. He might not be there yet. I'd suggest you have a good hard look at your relationship patterns and why in only 2.5 years you've had several breaks and apparently lots of stupid fights and you're still incapable of addressing basic issues like how valued you feel by your boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 It's a family trip. If he doesn't meet your requirements you may want to rethink getting back together with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Greene0Kelly Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 If you want your question to be answered that if you're over acting, well, you are. You said you both are on a break, so give him that break. Guys value respects so much that you need to give that to him. Respect his decision. Let see after that break what will happen next. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 When a relationship has to have breaks, there are likely problems that need addressing. This is clearly not a blissfully happy relationship. You enjoy the break like he's doing, but if it seems so one sided.....why do you stay? Why do you think this will change? Perhaps he's not as into you as you are into him. You need a better balance in terms of desire for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 Stop buying into the idea of love and romance as a fairytale. Men are different than women. We don't always get that you need us to act like a white knight because frankly, Prince Charming is a made up dude in a fairytale. OTOH, if you two keep taking breaks, it means you aren't getting what you need or communicating with each other effectively. Might want to be more pragmatic and figure out if your idea of what love looks like lines up with his idea of what love looks like, then decide if you two can come to some kind of compromise you both can live with. Good luck, Grumps Link to post Share on other sites
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