Jump to content

codependency issues


Recommended Posts

I have always been a bit of a player. My shrink once told me that my confidence is held on the shoulders of my ability to keep women around me. I'm a good looking guy, have charisma, I'm nice, and I have a fair amount going for me. I have no reason to be unconfident. However, I have always focused on women. More than i should. Sometimes dating 6-7 girls at once. talking to ten +, etc.

 

Well i was in a relationship for a year that ended and it should have. I CAN say that she did the ending and immediately had some guy that she worked with talking her up and they ended up dating for about two months.

 

MY EGO WAS HURT. big time. things with this guy started to end really quick because she said he was constantly getting ****faced drunk and doing drugs and she has a kid and just noticed that although she had strong feelings for him that he wasn't for her.

 

So she sort of came crawling back. we agreed to try again and go full force. I kept talking to other girls and she caught me and was super let down and for this reason and how volatile our breakup was she isn't comfortable telling family and friends we are talking. then suddenly we found out she was pregnant and it was MOST likely the guys kid. like without a doubt. so she made the decision to get an abortion and told the guy and he was super drunk and ecstasy on the phone and said all this **** about being there, then sober, he's off the map. since the abortion she's been talking to him through text and let me see her texts and has been venting about how angry she is at how irresponsible the guy is. ( this is bugging me but she said she needs closure and she got the abortion yesterday and idk, they're texting a little bit, but nothing inappropriate).

 

WE are pretty damn good. She has doubts of course, and so do I. But she has just as many reasons as I do to be flipping out constantly and looking through my phone, and pestering me for information, but she doesn't. However I am suddenly super insecure and have been dealing with what seems like codependency issues. my mind is so bogged down with crazy though processes its hard to focus on enjoying life, school work, gym, etc. we are having a great time together. she's saying sweet stuff and sort of all over me, despite being hurt and depressed because she had to get an abortion with someone who turned out to be a loser.

she has been venting to me a lot and when I asked her if she had feelings for him still she said a little but doesn't want anything to do with him and she is in love with me she says but she's just been through a lot lately and is really upset and confused. we've been back together for a month and I'm still periodically struggling with the feeling that she isn't this and doesn't want that, and is going to do this, even though none of the information or any of her actions have been misleading. I even went through her phone when she was acting shady for a night, and saw she had texted him. it was a confession that she was pregnant and ABSOLUTELY nothing inappropriate. she even called him at my house to talk about it. afterwards she confessed that I've been so needy and flipping out that she was scared to tell me that she just needed to tell the other guy to get it off her chest. honestly i haven't seen any of her actions that indicate that this relationship would be anything but prosperous. She's definitely in love with me and we are VERY comfortable with each other, but I think my therapist was right. I think i have codependency issues and struggle with keeping my mind in check. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to get myself better. I really love this girl and want to be with her.

Edited by jerrygordon3
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...