Ddkm Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I feel so invisible to my husband. We've been married for 9 years and I feel lonely and invisible. I have followed him overseas for his work. It's hard, he's at work all the time. He comes home, eats, then falls asleep in front of the tv or computer. I have a full time job too and maintain the house. It's just the two of us and being in a foreign country I'd like some attention from him. I've asked to spend time together but he gets angry and tells me work is so stressful and I make it the stress worse. He's sent me home for the summer so I wouldn't "complain" about being alone and waiting on him. Am I just being really sensitive to the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Sounds like you two have different priorities. Yours is on the marriage and his is on his work. Since you've tried to talk to him and he sent you home... well, I'd say there is someone more compatible for you out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Not so sure he hasn't found someone more compatible. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Yes & no. Being in a foreign country can't be all that easy for him either. He did send you home to try to make you happy. Can you set up dates for the two of you? Last night I wanted some attention so I grabbed hubby at 10 pm & we went out for dessert. It was cute. Do you have any friends there? Can you make some? That may help ease your loneliness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ddkm Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 I know he has found someone more compatible-work. Nah! But I am sometimes in wonder if there isn't someone he's seeing or spending time with. I don't track him or follow-up or call or question. He did lie when I asked him (while I was away) if he went out (found a business card) and he stared me point blank in the eye and said no. Come to find out he did. He went out for drinks with some people from work. How can he make time for that and not me? I have been suggested the "date" thing and he tells me there is no need. Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 This is not a marriage. Sorry. Sincerely I am sorry as no one should ever feel invisible...it is an awful feeling. I don't know you at all so understanding of how you tick is an unknown so pardon if any assumptions or criticism are off-base. You are who you are because of your experiences, beliefs and how you choose to handle/apply them. There is nothing wrong with expecting a husband to be just that. Having the expectation that you are a partner and priority. If religious then after God you should be next on his list. You work and take care of the home. Good for you for contributing. But is any of this fulfilling. Does your job give you satisfaction or is it a paycheck? Does taking care of the home do the same of is it done out of expectation? What have you done to better integrate in this country, make friends, learn about the history of the culture, country etc. What have you done to share your background with others? How are you fulfilling any of your goals, dreams, passions. This is about you, not him. Now if you have made efforts to communicate your needs to your husband and he has made zero effort except to get rid of you (that is how I view this) then I think you need to serious think about the future of this marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
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