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Couples who don't want to ever get married but are in LTRs


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 23rd July 2014, 4:27 PM   #61
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Originally Posted by thekid36 View Post
I seem to remember you from my previous thread. Why do you feel the need to call out people like this? You are not the judge and jury of everything. How do you know what the exact intent was of the original poster?
I'm not, but that's what I was trying to find out. And the OP, having begun a thread with a relatively contentious post, has been given ample responses, but refuses to supply any herself. Kinda weird that.
Besides, I seem to remember from your previous thread that I was not alone in my comments. Don't pick on me or feel you can take the moral high ground. It is both misplaced and inappropriate.

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Do you happen to have personal knowledge of what every single person is thinking? Just because a group of people agree with you and consider these thoughts as invalid does not necessarily make them right.
By that token, 'or wrong either'.


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Why do you call this person close minded? I really don't think that the reason people come to these threads is to be attacked by people who have nothing else to do than be retroactive to what the original intent of these posts are.
What WAS the original intent? Until the OP clarifies, it's hard to know.

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My thought is that they come here looking for advice or to give useful information. Did no one ever tell you that unless there is something nice to say, perhaps it is best to remain silent? Unless you are actually perfect, I think you owe an apology to every single one of those you continue to feel the need to judge.
I don't think so. People are permitted to have differing opinions, PoV's and comments to make. That's what makes a forum. It's extremely irregular though, for a person to create a post containing a relatively controversial statement, and then, in spite of several posts pointing out different views, refuses to be drawn on their opinion....

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First of all, I apologize for those who feel the need to attack you. I have a hunch you did not post this with this intent. None of them are perfect nor deserve to wear any kind of robe.
Don't apologise on my behalf. It is not necessary. You accuse me of judgement then do the same yourself. Don't wear that robe for me, because it does not apply. You are not my apologist, nor anyone else's.
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Last edited by Tbisb74; 23rd July 2014 at 4:29 PM..
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Old 23rd July 2014, 4:31 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by Tbisb74 View Post
In that case I will feel completely free to think that there's definitely something in what we have surmised, and I will not probe your evident embarrassment and reticence any further. I'm sorry you feel that you just can't talk about it, but given that you threw in the bomb to begin with, it's understandable people wanted to help you through it.
I hope you manage to find a way to speak to your grandchild in a way that will keep you both happy.
Or else, you could just fob them off, as you have done here. Works a treat!

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Wow, still trying to convince me of what I am thinking. How's that been working' for you?
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Old 23rd July 2014, 5:04 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by Tbisb74 View Post
I'm not, but that's what I was trying to find out. And the OP, having begun a thread with a relatively contentious post, has been given ample responses, but refuses to supply any herself. Kinda weird that.
Besides, I seem to remember from your previous thread that I was not alone in my comments. Don't pick on me or feel you can take the moral high ground. It is both misplaced and inappropriate.

By that token, 'or wrong either'.



What WAS the original intent? Until the OP clarifies, it's hard to know.


I don't think so. People are permitted to have differing opinions, PoV's and comments to make. That's what makes a forum. It's extremely irregular though, for a person to create a post containing a relatively controversial statement, and then, in spite of several posts pointing out different views, refuses to be drawn on their opinion....


Don't apologise on my behalf. It is not necessary. You accuse me of judgement then do the same yourself. Don't wear that robe for me, because it does not apply. You are not my apologist, nor anyone else's.

First of all, the OP seems to be a man. I am not guessing this based on my own assumptions. It actually says this in the profile. Guess you are not always right.


Second of all, no one owes you answers just because you're feeling entitled to them.


No, you were not alone in your comments on my thread. As I have said, just because a group of people say something does not mean that it is always right. It is the way that you put your comments out there that I have an issue with. You are acting like a bully in a playground. Kids tend to follow them at times. I bet more side with the bully than the ones getting picked on. Does that make the bully in the right? Sad that you seem to use the popular opinion of others to validate your own perceptions.


I already took responsibility for my own actions on that thread. This has nothing to do with that. I saw you on this thread trying to judge someone unfairly and find it to be sort of harsh. No doubt that I will stand up for what is right and wrong and those who are treated unfairly.


How do you know what is regular or not? This totally fascinates me to be honest. The OP directly stated that he does not think that couples who refuse to marry should be embarrassed at all. Yet, you continue to make your own inferences even still.


Perhaps the OP said what he did because what you say to a child may be different than that you explain to an adult. That does not necessarily mean that he is saying that one who is not married and together with someone should be embarrassed. Does every single simple question have to lead to an inquiry?


What follows is quotes of yours from this one thread. I think this is going a little overboard.


"A young grandchild won't be asking, what possible reason could they have to ask?"

"Everyone else considers it to be perfectly acceptable and the norm. The OP seems to think it would be a topic for embarrassment".

"The implication here is that you would be embarrassed to reveal it to your grandchild. So, actually, whether you think you implied it or not - that's how it comes over. And I'm obviously not the only one to think so...."

"That's unfair. YOU began this thread, with a post which has to all intents and purposes been dispelled by others as invalid, and frankly, smacks of being closed-minded. The least YOU could do when people ask you to elaborate on a point YOU have raised, and who seek some kind of clarifications of the denials YOU are making, is to have the courtesy to at least respond with some kind of explanation".

"We have all expanded on what we feel the general consensus of opinion is, and how we feel about the matter. Why is it unreasonable - in a thread YOU posted, and for a point YOU raised - to at least not be given some kind of response as to why YOU view things this way?"

"So I and others have asked you what would be the difficulty actually talking to a grandchild and explaining that you are not married?"

"The above quotes absolutely convey a sense of embarrassment, reticence, and even, perhaps, an amount of shame (though of course you will deny that too) but you have avoided answering the question by stating our assumptions are incorrect".

"So, how can we construe they are incorrect when everything you have responded with so far indicates that we aren't?"
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