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Out of love with angry, effeminate manbaby


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greeneyes_texas

Sigh... so many problems.

 

I have been ill since a surgery I had a year and a half ago. We live together and rarely have sex. Maybe once every couple of months. And we are in our early thirties. I find him physically attractive so I can get into it after a while, but I am not emotionally into him any more. I find him childish, immature and I don't trust him.

 

We spend ALL of our time together since we both work from home. I'm an online assistant and he writes code. I am always grateful anytime anyone gets him out of the house so I can have a few hours of alone time. Which is rarely. My surgery has impaired my mobility slightly so it makes it hard for me to leave.

 

He seems compelled by the power of Christ to keep liking pictures of other girls on social media. This has been a problem since the beginning. He says he will stop. He doesn't.

 

We mostly get along but every now and then he gets mad at me about some dumb thing and starts ranting. It's always something totally dumb and illogical. His voices gets very high pitched and whiny, he starts sounding like a gay guy (his inflection changes and everything- disturbing). This diminishes significantly any sexual desire I am attempting to build towards him.

 

I would give anything to have my own place but I can't afford it. My dad died a few years back, leaving me with nothing and no family. Don't really have any good friends either.

 

Not sure how I let my life get like this.

 

I'd love a life where I never had to worry about a manbaby whining that he wants sex NOW insert tantrum.

 

I hate seeing all those posts on here. Women lose interest in sex. Men don't. Quit bitching about it. Either accept that this will happen to you or don't get into a long term relationship. It doesn't seem like you can have both.

 

Thank god we never had any kids.

 

Should I call off the wedding? I really care about him as a person and I know he is afraid of being alone. He went crazy when his ex broke up with him, almost killed himself.

 

I just want to be free. Which might mean destitute as well. I have no idea what to do.

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lucy_in_disguise
Sigh... so many problems.

 

I have been ill since a surgery I had a year and a half ago. We live together and rarely have sex. Maybe once every couple of months. And we are in our early thirties. I find him physically attractive so I can get into it after a while, but I am not emotionally into him any more. I find him childish, immature and I don't trust him.

 

We spend ALL of our time together since we both work from home. I'm an online assistant and he writes code. I am always grateful anytime anyone gets him out of the house so I can have a few hours of alone time. Which is rarely. My surgery has impaired my mobility slightly so it makes it hard for me to leave.

 

He seems compelled by the power of Christ to keep liking pictures of other girls on social media. This has been a problem since the beginning. He says he will stop. He doesn't.

 

We mostly get along but every now and then he gets mad at me about some dumb thing and starts ranting. It's always something totally dumb and illogical. His voices gets very high pitched and whiny, he starts sounding like a gay guy (his inflection changes and everything- disturbing). This diminishes significantly any sexual desire I am attempting to build towards him.

 

I would give anything to have my own place but I can't afford it. My dad died a few years back, leaving me with nothing and no family. Don't really have any good friends either.

 

Not sure how I let my life get like this.

 

I'd love a life where I never had to worry about a manbaby whining that he wants sex NOW insert tantrum.

 

I hate seeing all those posts on here. Women lose interest in sex. Men don't. Quit bitching about it. Either accept that this will happen to you or don't get into a long term relationship. It doesn't seem like you can have both.

 

Thank god we never had any kids.

 

Should I call off the wedding? I really care about him as a person and I know he is afraid of being alone. He went crazy when his ex broke up with him, almost killed himself.

 

I just want to be free. Which might mean destitute as well. I have no idea what to do.

 

Show him this post and ask him what he thinks.

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Definitely show him this post. I suspect the need to make a decision will be taken conveniently out of your hands when you do so.

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todreaminblue

You describe him quite cruelly..a bit on the callous side of disrespectful thoughts on your behalf....i dont think you should get married and i should think you would let him go to be with someone who loves him not hold onto him just to get married and then treat him like a gimp....he is probably always insecure with you which in turn makes him needy you are responsible for half the way he is..guys who have a loving supportive partner who love them completely normally dont become this way .they actually grow stronger.......obviously for you to be attracted to him to agree to marry him he wasnt always this way was he...so what is your contribution to the relationship.....deb

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Yes you should call off the wedding. I can't believe you even have to ask. Why on earth would you even consider marrying someone you don't love, desire or have any respect for?

 

 

Yes sex can get stale and much less frequent in a long term relationship. It's a problem and couples have to work on solutions so that they don't lose their intimate connection with one another."stop whining and just accept it" is not the correct way to deal with the issue.

 

 

Please do not marry this guy.

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We mostly get along but every now and then he gets mad at me about some dumb thing

 

You mean like "liking" photos on social media?

 

Women lose interest in sex. Men don't. Quit bitching about it. Either accept that this will happen to you or don't get into a long term relationship. It doesn't seem like you can have both.

 

If that is the way you think - to accept it or don't get into a long term relationship - shouldn't that go both ways? By that I mean, shouldn't you accept that men are going to want sex, and if you can't accept it, quit bitching about it and don't get into a long term relationship?

 

It sounds to me like both of you guys have some major issues, and neither of you is ready for a mutually loving respectful relationship.

 

I recommend therapy, both individual and joint.

 

DEFINITELY do not get married right now. Just tell him that you guys have to solve the major issues in your relationship before committing to a lifetime of them.

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Not sure how I let my life get like this.

By staying in an unsatisfying relationship with an uncommitted partner ill-suited to you?

 

By developing a negative, self-fulfilling opinion about relationships in general and men in particular?

 

By allowing yourself to become isolated and friendless?

 

Nobody can fix your life but you. We tend to get what we think we deserve. Step one would be starting to think your deserve better than this. Hope you follow through and keep posting...

 

Mr. Lucky

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the thread title says it all: that is an unenviable combination in a man: angry, effeminate manbaby. Yikes.

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Not to downplay the vices of your husband (as I myself have been addicted to porn), but have you analyzed your own life? Do you read or watch "female porn"? It can be any movie where men are perfect knights in shining armor, strong and sacrificial to the end, sweeping their woman off her feet and whispering poetry in her ear. These kinds of movies, books, or any other media objectify men and create "airbrushed" versions of men's personality traits in the same way porn airbrushes women's physical traits. I don't see any difference as far as the damaging effect both can have.

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Not to downplay the vices of your husband (as I myself have been addicted to porn), but have you analyzed your own life? Do you read or watch "female porn"? It can be any movie where men are perfect knights in shining armor, strong and sacrificial to the end, sweeping their woman off her feet and whispering poetry in her ear. These kinds of movies, books, or any other media objectify men and create "airbrushed" versions of men's personality traits in the same way porn airbrushes women's physical traits. I don't see any difference as far as the damaging effect both can have.

 

Might be a topic for a good new thread? :)

 

I do agree that girlie movies are emotional porn. They portray how men "should be" - romantic, strong, who always put the woman first and always know to do and to say just the right thing - and girls get disappointed when real life guys don't measure up and can't read our minds.

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HereNorThere
You describe him quite cruelly..a bit on the callous side of disrespectful thoughts on your behalf....i dont think you should get married and i should think you would let him go to be with someone who loves him not hold onto him just to get married and then treat him like a gimp....he is probably always insecure with you which in turn makes him needy you are responsible for half the way he is..guys who have a loving supportive partner who love them completely normally dont become this way .they actually grow stronger.......obviously for you to be attracted to him to agree to marry him he wasnt always this way was he...so what is your contribution to the relationship.....deb

 

Best response I've read all day; you win one free internet!

 

Yup, can't really blame someone for being needy and insecure when you contributed to it by pulling the rug out from underneath them, man or woman.

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Not to downplay the vices of your husband (as I myself have been addicted to porn), but have you analyzed your own life? Do you read or watch "female porn"? It can be any movie where men are perfect knights in shining armor, strong and sacrificial to the end, sweeping their woman off her feet and whispering poetry in her ear. These kinds of movies, books, or any other media objectify men and create "airbrushed" versions of men's personality traits in the same way porn airbrushes women's physical traits. I don't see any difference as far as the damaging effect both can have.

 

I think this post is worth thinking more about...

 

However, I do feel your pain. I don't know the answer. I think he probably feels your dependance and is it possible he feels entitled because of this? Which is why he continues to like female photos even though he know you have expressed a dislike for this behavior?

 

I think there are different types of people in this world, and perhaps he's not your type of person. I would postpone the wedding and start working on an exit plan if you want to have happiness and contentment.

 

If we may ask, what is limiting you to your mobility?

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the thread title says it all: that is an unenviable combination in a man: angry, effeminate manbaby. Yikes.

 

Lots of anger and bitterness in that title also.

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Foxinthesnow

Between your lack of respect and attraction to him and his frustration with you, I can't imagine this ending well.

 

Also, men don't stop needing sex. Get used to this or don't get I to a long term relationship.

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compulsivedancer

I'm so offended by the title of your post. If you can call him that, you shouldn't be marrying him.

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So in answer to your primary question - should I get married? - Duh, no of course not.

 

However, you are in a situation that means you feel you can't get out easily mainly due to finances. I think the financial worries are what are keeping you there not whether you should marry this man.

 

Don't get married for the wrong reasons. You need to get in touch with old friends and build new ones. Also put a financial plan in place as to how to support yourself when this relationship finishes. The loss of your father, illness and financial worries are all weighing in on you, however you can get around these things and have a better life in future. But marriage to this man will trap you for years and you don't want to do that to yourself.

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Glinda.Good

Probably off topic, but watching girlie movies is not the same as being addicted to porn.

 

I guess if one was ADDICTED to girlie movies and checked out from actually relating in a romantic, sexual way to their mate, it would be comparable.

 

Watching girlie movies and getting a skewed idea of what a relationship with a man is supposed to be like is probably comparable to watching porn and getting a skewed idea of what sex with a woman is like.

 

Many people are highly capable of enjoying either while still remaining firmly grounded in reality.

 

Being ADDICTED to something is a different issue entirely.

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StoneCold 2.0

I hate seeing all those posts on here. Women lose interest in sex. Men don't. Quit bitching about it. Either accept that this will happen to you or don't get into a long term relationship. It doesn't seem like you can have both.

 

:confused:

 

1) With an attitude like that you really shouldn't even be cohabiting....let alone marrying.... anybody....period.... out side of lesbians, runaway eunuchs and rich old men on their death beds, of course.

 

2) Since you're on the whole "Acceptance" tip...perhaps you should accept that men want sex and quit bitching about it

Edited by StoneCold 2.0
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