lonegirl Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 (edited) Okay, my partner and I are together for a year. I posted a few times but I don't have my mind super settled right now to look back and see if I have said he has issues with alcohol. He doesn't drink often but had problems with alcohol before, and when he chooses to drink he just can't stop. Last Friday we decided to drink a few beers at home, and I asked him several times, after many issues that happened when we drank at bars, to drink A LITTLE since he wanted and then go to bed as soon as the beer was over. It was only two bottles for us, and I can't handle too much alcohol myself. I just don't like it. As expected, he wanted more. I hate the fact that when he wants, he goes. He NEEDS more and nobody stops him. So when the beer was over, close to midnight, he left to a bar around our home and I got very, very annoyed. But I didn't complain. Anyways, even after crying (all alone to avoid another fight, we've been fighting a little lately) so much I decided to not enter into an argument because of this and went to bed by myself. Checked just if he got his keys and locked the door because I don't trust this neighborhood so much. I fell asleep around 3am and 3 hours later I got awake by him knocking on the door, went to open and he was falling down and with that terrible breath I know so well. I just asked why he did this to me again, calmly, as I asked him so many times to not do this... I wasn't even complaining! He then started to scream that I locked him out in the cold night, drunk talk. Then started a huge fight by himself and he said to me the worst thing I could ever hear from someone. He always wanted to be a father, and me too a mother, but i have some cysts in my ovaries so I don't ovulate normally as any normal woman. I told him this right away when we started dating, because I didn't want to frustrate somebody's expectations. This was always a big pain for me, to try and try with my previous partners and never get pregnant. He said at the time it wouldn't be a problem because he loved ME and we could adopt a baby in the future in case I couldn't get naturally pregnant. He repeated this to me so many times after this as well. BUT in this fight, and I swear to God I was quiet, he said I was a worthless piece of **** that couldn't even give him a baby. Only in writing this I feel the tears in my eyes. When he got sober he cried a lot and apologized, but I feel something broken inside of me. I had an abusive boyfriend and an ex husband that ignored me for a long time but none of them ever touched in so sensitive subject the way this man, that cries for me and never mistreated me in bad ways, just did. I am not getting over this so easily. Am I overreacting? Edited July 1, 2014 by lonegirl iPad autocorrection was wrong Link to post Share on other sites
compulsivedancer Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 No you're not. Being drunk is not an excuse to say something so hurtful to you. It's not like you purposefully had ovary issues to spite him. His drinking is clearly a problem and he needs to get help for it. And if he can't live with not having children with you, then he's not the right man for you, as hard as that is. He can either accept reality and work with you to find solutions, or he can leave the relationship. But he doesn't get to hold it against you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lonegirl Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 Thank you for your insight. This is what I don't get... I always made it so much clear to him it was a thing that made me suffer... I see the years passing and everyone I know raising families except me. He was clear many times when he said it didn't matter, because he wanted ME... But then why throw this on my face, a thing that is not my fault and I can't control? Link to post Share on other sites
compulsivedancer Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Thank you for your insight. This is what I don't get... I always made it so much clear to him it was a thing that made me suffer... I see the years passing and everyone I know raising families except me. He was clear many times when he said it didn't matter, because he wanted ME... But then why throw this on my face, a thing that is not my fault and I can't control? Because he was drunk and his drinking is a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 You need to be absolutely firm with him that drinking is not allowed. His drinking has the very real possibility of ruining your relationship. It needs to be contained now before it gets worse. Link to post Share on other sites
carrie_o Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Hi lonegirl! I feel like I could've written this post myself. My husband acts the same way when he drinks. Trust me, if he didn't try to make you feel bad about kids, he would've picked another topic that he knew would hurt you. I really you two are able to make it thru this! Keep us posted! Link to post Share on other sites
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