jodrive Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 I am married just under a year and my wife has withdrawn intimately and otherwise. She is insecure about her body as of late because she has put on a few pounds but I still find her to be beautiful in every way possible, except for her behavior towards me. She, often out of the blue will mock me or just straight up criticize me without reservation. Now, We flip each other **** playfully but it is never anything direct, just fun. Something has changed, she is constantly mocking the way I talk, to the point of making herself out to look like an ass, its over exaggerated and almost funny, but its painful because she is actually serious and critical! As well, I can do nothing right, I mean nothing!! Its gotten to the point where she literally will do this to her 10yr old son too. This is never done in public but severely concentrated at home. It feels she just has a great distaste for us at times and obviously not happy. Also, there is alot of passive-agressive behavior, such as me asking if she needs help with things and her lashing out on me or the boy telling is we dont do anything right or she has to do it herself because it will not get done right otherwise. My story is, I am not perfect of course but I pull my weight, I am a hard-working, patient, loving man. I never belittle her or her son, I just dont have it in me to be that unkind. I show up, take care of things, am responsible but am constantly hearing things like, "whats your problem dude?" or "why are you in such a bad mood?" when she is actually the one in the bad mood!! Is this normal or do I sound crazy by thinking this behavior is uncalled for? I really do not understand? What gets me is she will do things like buy a necklace with our initials on it for herself as if she actually is loving and happy in our relationship together. This of course is just a necklace but small things like this tell me she cares?! I am at a loss on how to deal with, I have just been laughing it off or not reacting but I am becoming extremely frustrated and want to say something before I spend the next 40 years with this woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Zimber Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 There are a ton of reasons for her behavior. There is not enough information to say. However, none of them will justify this behavior. She's seems quite angry about something, likely herself. This needs to be dealt with ... by her. The one thing your post did not mention is that you had a talk with her about these pokes and criticisms. You must stand up for yourself my friend. If you're a carpet, a person with dirty shoes will learn to love to offload some of the dirt on you ... right? I don't know enough about her personality to suggest your method of communication with her, you would know that. Just don't get angry. Read up on conflict resolution, communication for couples ... if you're unsure or a little too raw and need a refresher. Maybe some of the female members of this forum could suggest what might be the best way to approach this with her so as to get through and not offend? Elaboration on the dynamics of your relationship might help a little before that too. Z Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 Was she ever a reasonable, respectful person or has she always been a c_ _ _ _? If this is a change of behavior when did it start and what we're some of the circumstances surrounding the change? Does she treat anyone else besides you and your son this way? Any history of mental illness, alcoholism, drug addiction etc? What have you actually done to try to stop it? What was the result of that? Link to post Share on other sites
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