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pandora.is.not.a.box

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pandora.is.not.a.box

Hi all, I've been reading this forum for quite some time already but never really sign up for posting. :) Today I decided perhaps I too should share and hope for good advices.

 

I have been with the love of my life for almost 15 years, happily, since we both were teenagers, first love and all, got married 5 years ago, and not having children yet, maybe someday. I spent my whole 20s only with him, never even realized there are other men out there that might be interested (or interesting enough) as options. I also worked really hard and pursued a successful career during my 20s. Now I'm in my early 30s, life starts to slow down a little bit, I picked up another interest and wanted to change gear in my career, that involves more feelings and emotions.

 

All and all, our life has been great and an envy for our friends. But, the reason I'm sharing here of course not for boasting. I have been wondering.

With the decision to change a life path, come also a thought "what would have been if...". Our love has never been the boom-boom type, no huge physical attraction that would keep us in bed for days, or being overly emotional with jealousy, hurt, so on. It is always sweet and tender, constant soft light like a candle, very borderline boring. I don't think I ever truly fell in love with any guy, or even remotely curious about what is it all about, until now. I wonder if it is a real thing that you can get so crazy about someone, unable to control yourself from diving heart first. And I wonder if I should give it a try, whether with my husband or not.

 

Don't get me wrong, I don't think we're vulcan or anything like that. I'm a very lively person, funny, able to flirt merciless and in general very passionate about my work, but I'm just too content and comfortable with my relationship since early age, I'm very curious about getting messy in heart matters, and if it's worth it to play with fire for once. If I open that door, I'm sure I'll find a lot of trouble waiting for me. :)

 

Perhaps I have been reading too much 'real heart problems' in this forum and find it very exciting. Anyhow, it would be nice to hear any insights. Cheers.

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It is 4 AM in the morning, so I don't blame myself for being confused, but I'm not quite sure what you're asking.

 

Are you asking if you should start pursuing threesome/orgies, etc, or are you just saying that you want to spice up the relationship emotionally?

 

The ultimate question you have to ask yourself is...are you happy with the way your life is going? If you claim that you've never fell in love with the dude you're married with and that the romance has pretty much been borderline boring, then it doesn't sound like that great of a marriage. What's keeping the marriage together?

 

I would also like to remind you that nothing is "boring" unless you perceive it as such. Some people find fishing boring, while other people could fish all day and consider it the best day of their lives. If you feel it's boring, there's a reason why you view it as such. It's like...people may claim to get sick of certain foods, but I guarantee you that I wouldn't get sick of pizza if I was stuck on an island and there was only pizza to eat.

 

You have to recognize why you feel the need to change things up a bit. You gotta get down to the root of your current state of mind, because it could end up being a big problem. Are you unsatisfied with your marriage? Are you falling out of love with him? Spend some time trying to figure out why you feel the way you feel, and you may end up needing different advice on what to do next.

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Poppygoodwill

Sounds like you're having a bit of (early?) mid-life crisis. Wondering if the grass is greener. It is, and it isn't.

 

Yes, you might find a guy that makes your heart beat fast and you howl at the moon over. But will you want to be with him the next morning, will you want to tell him your troubles, to introduce him to your friends, to share your vulnerable moments with him?

 

Its' easy to find sex and even frenzied crazy sex and passion. IT's *much* harder to find a person you love and respect and have fun with and want to wake up to all the time.

 

People hope their whole lives to find the steady, contented low-watt glow of love that you have found with this guy.

 

I would count my blessings if I were you.

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