guest* Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 I'm currently married to my husband of 15 years and just recently found out that he had a baby with another girl behind my back! So I really don't know what I should do now because my husband and I also have kids of our own!! Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Get into marriage therapy and do it pronto! You can't handle something like this alone. You don't say if this is something that happened years ago, if it happened last week, or if he is still involved with this woman, beyond supporting his child, which I sincerely hope he is doing. I am assuming you mean that he fathered this child after you were married. You have every reason to feel hurt, betrayed and angry, but you have to decide what is best for you as a couple, never forgetting that you have children to think about. If you love your husband and the two of you have an otherwise good marriage, don't let this one (albeit huge) mistake destroy a 15 year marriage. Understand that it is going to take quite a long time for you to regain trust for him and he's going to have to bust his butt to give you what you need to do this. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 What would you do? Let's see…you have actual proof of his infidelity (the child) and you have been married for over ten years. *ALIMONY* You have kid(s)…as in plural…so lets tack on: **CHILD SUPPORT** Add to that 50% property settlement … and his a$$ is worth more GONE. Cha-Ching!!! Of course, that's only what I would do … I'm sure you're far more understanding, forgiving, and tolerant than me. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Let's see…you have actual proof of his infidelity (the child) and you have been married for over ten years. *ALIMONY* You have kid(s)…as in plural…so lets tack on: **CHILD SUPPORT** Add to that 50% property settlement … and his a$$ is worth more GONE. Cha-Ching!!! Hello! I totally agree! He obviously didn't respect your marriage much if he went outside of it and got another woman pregnant! I would be emotionally devastated but after letting him know how I felt I would let him know that he doesn't deserve me. Be civil cuz of the kids but honestly do you think you'll ever be able to trust him again? He has a child that's a huge commitment! HUGE!<--(not shouting) How did you find out? Did he confess? How old is the child? Has he been seeing the woman since he got her pregnant? All these factors are important in deciding what to do or not do! Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Go to counseling!!!!!!! I do not have kids or am even married but I would think that this has to be greatly devastating. Link to post Share on other sites
loves2much Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 I would go to therapy...and if he declined to go...thats when you bring out the big "guns" threaten divorce, threaten alimony and all of that stuff. Tell him you ARE trying to make it work but he's not and all of that, and if he's not willing to try neither are you! You have children and this is the only reason i'm saying try to work it out. Otherwise for sure i would be over him in 2.2 seconds because not only did he cheat on you but he had a child with another women; while he was with you! You do not need to have a broken heart, you do not need to be hurting in this way. It was very wrong of him to cheat on you and hurt you like this. If you forgive him you are a very, very understanding wife and he should be thankful! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Can you clarify-he DID cheat on you while you were married, or was this before? Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 What do you want to do? Do you want to end the marriage? Do you want to try therapy? You haven't expressed any emotions you're having regarding this information. It's hard to make a suggestion on what you should do when I don't even know how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Jacksin Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I agree more info please Jack Link to post Share on other sites
Amandy Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 DIVORCE HIM! He was married and he cheated. I do not believe in second chances with this. He opened you up to STDs. You should take care of yourself and hopefully you will find someone better. Link to post Share on other sites
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