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Need Help From Someone Married!!


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Romantic Shadow

I have to admit right now i am fifteen please read this... i am in love with a girl named ashley and i need help. i dont know what to do. We love each other and i know love is a strong word i know it is supposed to mean the world and i do mean it as does she. We want to be with each other forever we havent found anything we dont like about each other and i keep doing romantic things for her everyday like leaving white roses on her doorstep or writing poems about her but i dont know if they are right or not. ashley and i truly believe that it will last but my parents say there is no way in hell it will. please someone help me i need to know what to do. any suggestions? do you think that it can last? please write back i am desperate to know your opinion

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Love at 15 and love at 35 are two different things. Since you posted this in the mariage forum I am guessing you want someone to tell you that marrying Ashley is the right thing to do. I don't think anyone that has been married for any lenght of time will tell you to go for it.

 

My ex was 16 when he fell madly and deeply and forever in love with me and 24 when he realized we had moved to fast, he was too young and we got divorced. Three kids later. All we have left of that forever love is a monthly child support check, 1/3 of everything he makes goes to the kids, and a strained friendship. He is now trying to regain what he lost of his youth at the expense of everyone who cares about him, especially his children. He is a good man, he just didn't relaize how long forever really was.

 

What I can tell you is young love is wonderful, it is sweet innocent, and to steal an idea from hearts in Atlantis... it is the love all loves will be judged by for the rest of your life. Stop, slow down and truly enjoy it's sweetness. Don't worry about marriage, kids, or any of that... be careful not to do anything that will make a forever out of it just yet, especially kids. Just enjoy it...

 

Wait until you are as close to 30 as you can, because your twenties should be a time of fun... I know where you are coming from, but wait... if your love is as strong enough to last, it will still be there 10, or 15 years down the road. And if the two of you make it that long, you can almost certainly make it forever.

 

Good Luck

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Your first love is always special and unforgettable, but you are way way too young to start making a life long commitment to one another.

 

Get on with your life and enjoy your teenage years and if your love is meant to stand the test of time it will. Being impatient will place undue stress on the relationship and not help it one little bit.

 

Dont be in a hurry

Jack ;)

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Romantic Shadow

thank you that helped i just wish i was older so i could be so comitted to her but i guess i can do that now i just have one more question... everyone tells me i shouldnt tell her how i really feel or else she will lose respect for me. Like if i tell her that i love her with all my heart and that i would do anything for her basicly saying that i worship her then she will lose all respect for me. is this true? or can i tell her that i am so madly in love with her?

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First I want to ask you how long have you been together? You are only 15 years old, I was 15 when I started dating my first love and it was wonderful and it lasted about 6 months. It took me a few months to get completely over him b/c I just "loved" him so much but we were only 15, in school & there was lots of other guys & girls that ended up getting our attention. You are at the age to have fun, you can tell her how you feel she may feel the same way but I would wait before you decide to run off & get married. I couldn't imagine getting married at 15 or 16, I had so much fun being a teenager & young adult, although I'm still young only 22 years old, and I am married but I've been with my husband for 5 years so if you two make it that long I say go for it BUT don't rush things. Have Fun!!

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I would hold off on telling her how you really feel inwardly and just see how your relationship develops over the next few years.

 

Always remember you dont have to smother anyone with words of love and adoration. Partners sense how you feel toward them by the little personal things you do for one another, and besides she may be offended if you start throwing yourself at her feet.

Jack ;)

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I want to strongly suggest to you that you wait to get married until you are fully emotionally developed. Your attitute, outlook, almost everything will change. My husband once told me that a man is not fully who they are until at least 25 (he is 30).

 

I am only 25 and on my 2nd marriage. I married my first husband way to young. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do, but you change so much in those years, and we outgrew each other.

 

You will most likely have many other relationships before you get married. If not, then you and your gf can be happy to know that you have built a strong friendship first before getting married, which is a major deal.

 

Good luck but enjoy your youth at the same time, I wish I did

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My stepdaughter is 15 and she is feeling the way you are. It concerns me because at 15 you should be ejoying life and enjoying your friends, etc. Her mom made the mistake of getting pregnant at 16 (I had my first at 27) with someone she thought would be in her life forever, but after the pregnancy he was pretty much out the door. I will tell you what I told my stepdaughter:

 

15 is a very innocent and young age. you are starting to feel your body grow and change. You are looking at things a little differently. You start giving up things that are now feeling babyish to do. But, just because you meet someone who notices you and especially makes you feel aroused for the first time does not mean you have to promise your life, hand in marriage or firstborn to for the rest of your life. You will see that down the road of life others will notice you also and appreciate you as well. And as for attraction you will meet many people that you may be interested in getting to know.

 

But because you are young you have to allow this space and for this to happen. Too many times young people decide to stick together only to find that they are growing and finally have grown apart and it may be more difficult in the end especially if there are children in the picture.

 

You need time for your mind expand and to explore. You need to experience life. There is wonderful world out there and you should be able to enjoy it. If down the road you two should cross paths as adullts then who knows. at least you will have the capacity at that time to handle what a real relationship entails. Its more than the flowers you are leaving on her door sweetie. It is becoming partners, setting goals , sharing each others life, hopes, and dreams. Building for a future together. Right now you need to focus on education because without knowledge...how do you think you will be able to accomplish any goal?

 

Good luck to you.

 

Q

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