LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Marriage & Life Partnerships

Help Me....im On The Edge.


Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 15th June 2004, 11:59 AM   #16
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 18
Currently...

Well, I just told her about the visit on friday, and she's getting over that. She isnt really bringing it up other than saying "how can you risk our relationship for her" and stuff like that. She's hurt, that I can tell for sure, but seems to be getting better. It takes her a long time to forgive and feel better about herself.
MertzMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th June 2004, 12:01 PM   #17
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 111
Again...concentrate on your wife and show her by your actions WHY you wanted to marry her...not words...your ACTIONS.
thecake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th June 2004, 12:04 PM   #18
Established Member
 
VivianLee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Southeast
Posts: 624
Cake has good advice! LISTEN!!

Please for your wife's sake, don't say another word or give one small detail to her about what all happened. In cases like this, ignorance is bliss. You may feel better with a full confession BUT it will just break her heart and again, it was during your engagement not during your marriage...move on for her sake!
VivianLee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th June 2004, 12:10 PM   #19
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 18
Im getting there

Im starting to believe you two. I need to move on and forget about the past. We were engaged, BUT maybe I needed the closure with the ex...who knows. Do you honestly think she'll never find out....and as a result be better off not knowing? Cuz I do believe we will have a long happy life together.
MertzMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th June 2004, 12:24 PM   #20
Established Member
 
VivianLee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Southeast
Posts: 624
Re: Im getting there

Quote:
Originally posted by MertzMan
Im starting to believe you two. I need to move on and forget about the past. We were engaged, BUT maybe I needed the closure with the ex...who knows. Do you honestly think she'll never find out....and as a result be better off not knowing? Cuz I do believe we will have a long happy life together.
It took you telling her for her to find out what she knows....the ex isn't interested anymore so she wouldn't get anything out of telling....you are going to give your wife a world of hurt if you tell anymore....

Again, it was a bad thing to do and no one would like for the person they are engaged to, to do this to them but truly, you hear of worse things going on at Bachelor parties!!

Y'all have just been married two weeks, don't mar this wonderful honeymoon period with any more true confessions...

I'm just curious....why did you pick NOW to tell her? When did you start feeling guilty?
VivianLee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th June 2004, 2:03 PM   #21
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 18
My guilt

Well, I believe once I took the vow I realized how bad I felt. I realized this woman is now my wife, my other half, part of me, and I owed her the truth. I felt so bad.

Not to mention I felt bad immediately after the incidents, but I buried it.
MertzMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th June 2004, 4:53 PM   #22
Established Member
 
Moose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Southwest Missouri
Posts: 5,940
MertMan,
Take a look at my favorite qoutes. One of them in particular is the one about one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you're pissin' on today. Let it go, you've confessed to us, now confess to God or your higher power whatever that may be......we are human, we make mistakes and there isn't anybody who hasn't.

Some believe, ( And I agree ), that there is no such thing as one sin greater than the next. So speeding is just as bad as say murder, ( I know that's taking it to the extreme but you understand my point ).

Some things are better left unsaid, you've felt sick about it long enough.

Hope you start to feel better bud.

Sincerely,
Moose
__________________
"The conscience water saw it's maker, and blushed" - Water to Wine......
Moose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th June 2004, 5:07 PM   #23
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 18
Moose

Moose,

Thanks man. Im amazed. Ive been obsessing over this for the last 4 days. The guilt, the worrying about her finding out....guess what? Today im cured. This board is great. Im going to hang around here and look for advice on my marriage as I go. Thanks to you all.
MertzMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th June 2004, 5:12 PM   #24
Established Member
 
Moose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Southwest Missouri
Posts: 5,940
MertMan,

That's awesome!!! Now, a plug for the board.....when I found it and it helped me through some problems, I whipped out the ole credit card and sent in some money....doesn't have to much.....10-20 bucks.....it would really help to keep the forum around...

Thanks

Moose
Moose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th June 2004, 11:08 AM   #25
Established Member
 
jmargel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Central PA
Posts: 3,372
I'm glad you are feeling better, but what about this 'closure' you mentioned? If you are married and still haven't had an emotional 'closure' to your ex, then something is wrong.
jmargel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th June 2004, 11:10 AM   #26
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 18
My closure

Well I was done with her a long time ago. I as her first, and she didnt get over me for a long long time. I just guess I needed to make sure she was out of my life, and not going to make a surprise entrance later in life...as crazy as that sounds.

Last night was great, wifey and I are grooving together again.
MertzMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th June 2004, 11:33 AM   #27
Established Member
 
VivianLee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Southeast
Posts: 624
Mertz...I'm glad y'all are happy! Just keep on heading into the future (as everyone has told you) and forgive yourself and forget the past. Have fun with being a newlywed!!
VivianLee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th June 2004, 5:04 PM   #28
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Where the wiener dogs roam
Posts: 184
Forgive yourself. It wasn't that big of a deal. But you need to know for future reference, that there are women out there (and men, too I guess), who get their dose of self esteem by deliberately trying to break up marriages and relationships. They are out there, young man, and I personally have had to deal with that. You sound like you have learned your lesson, and I hope that you will have a long, faithful, happy marriage. But most people will at least think about straying and there is always someone out there who will pick up on your urges. Remain true to your spouse.
lnichols is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Has my dad gone over the edge? 933KJL Family 6 20th October 2005 12:15 PM
Wife on the edge 2KindKay Marriage & Life Partnerships 3 19th January 2005 11:39 AM
Holding On To The Edge Tamday Coping 20 6th December 2004 8:39 PM
Almost at the edge babygirl21 Abuse 15 25th October 2004 3:24 AM
Have I gone over the edge? spymaiden Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 4 6th December 2003 12:25 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 6:25 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.