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Is getting married worth it?


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Are you just wondering about the advantage of being married vs being engaged in a long-term committed monogamous relationship (with all that is implied, children, joint bank account, jointly owned house) that is not officially sanctioned by the state?

 

There can be some tax advantages (depending on H & W respective income), in the US there is the health insurance, and it is generally more convenient administratively (e.g. if you need to visit your partner in the hospital but are not legally married it can be more of a hassle, if you have children there are some extra steps to get the father recognized if not legally married, etc). Depending on society & culture it can be more acceptable as well. The downsides are, some tax penalties (depending on H & W respective income), and to break up the relationship you have to follow a legal process (I think that's relatively moot if there are children & joint property involved, since there will be a legal process in that case anyway)

 

If your question was, is it worth getting into a committed monogamous relationship, then it depends on your priorities. Sex with different or same partners, raising children, career, being more tied down, excitement of new relationships, jealousy, romantic idea of 2 people sharing their whole life together, etc. Probably for some a committed relationship is really not the best option... so best to do your pros & cons. Personally, I loved being married, for the most part, but there were some ups & downs to be sure, and the divorce was not much fun. I'm engaged now, and loving it, I tried the alternative and it really wasn't for me, but that's just me. But it's a good question to ask yourself, and be honest to yourself (& your partner) about what your long term objectives are.

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Nope. The latest fashion is to sleep around and with everyone you find attractive, get some popcorn and watch them all fight for you until they are all dead. If any man makes the fatal mistake of rejecting you for some reason, put all these men that are sleeping with you on him and get him killed.

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No. I'm on my second.....I now have lost faith in the arrangement. It seems people stop trying after a lifetime commitment has been made. It's only a piece of paper that makes it ten times more difficult to leave.

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I am single...

but in my opinion I do think its worth it. I want to do it...for me. My parents weren't married and I don't have great exmples of marriages around me but I would like to be, especially if I am going to have any children. I don't know, I just have this wild idea that if the man was ever to walk away then at least in some way he would be forced to do something for his children if we were married than if we weren't.

However, after seeing/hearing certain people's situations, I do think marriage is overrated :eek:...but, I can say that seeing what other people might get married for or do in their marriages makes me hope that mine will be much better.

I know, it sounds idealistic but I live in hope :o..!

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BetheButterfly
I'm curious as opposed to just being de facto's.

 

Yes!!! :love::bunny:

 

However, many factors need to be considered before getting married:

 

1. Does this person that I choose to love have similar/same convictions in life as I do? For example: belief, values (honesty, kindness, charity, helping those in need, love for family, ...).

 

2. Does this person that I choose to love have similar/same goals in life as I do? (For example: desire for children, likes to travel, being physically fit/active, loves animals and wants to share the home with them ...)

 

3. Does this person that I choose to love have a similar/same sex drive as I do?

 

4. Does this person that I choose to love know how to communicate well with me and resolve conflict with me well?

 

5. Is this person that I choose to love also my good friend who I know loves me as a human being and who is fun to live with everyday?

 

6. Can I see myself growing old with this person?

 

7. Are we individually willing and with the strength/ability to commit with/to each other and endure the hard times which are to make us stronger together?

 

8. Do I trust me to commit with/to this person and not intentionally hurt him/her?

 

9. Do I trust this person to commit with/to me and not intentionally hurt me?

 

10. Can we make the world a better place together?

 

Marriage in itself is not the means of bliss. Rather, marriage with mutual love, attraction, desires, goals, convictions, trust, and so on produces bliss, like healthy trees produce good fruit. :)

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Definitely think it's worth it. Depends on each individual situation though. I admit I wish we waited longer to marry and did things differently. However, marriage has made things considerably easier financially. It also gives us that bond of being family, versus just living together as boyfriend and girlfriend.

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BetheButterfly
That depends. Are you willing to work hard WITH a partner every day to make it worth it? If not, then probably not.

If you are, do you really mean it? Do you promise not to let things go when it gets hard or when life is busy? Is making them happy a priority for you and will it remain one?

 

Are you willing to do things sometimes that you might think are stupid because it makes them happy? Are they willing to do that for you?

 

Are you willing to fight for one another even when it seems like too much work?

 

If so then hell yes it's worth it.

 

100% agreed. :)

 

The love and beauty that can be found in marriage (commitment with another person as a mate) is worth fighting for and is worth more than money can buy!!! :love::bunny:

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Sometimes you find a right person(Not in my case), then its worth it

Some people are genuinely good and honest by heart.

Some people do not have any malefic interests.

When two people live together, there will be many chances for collison, but that's what adjustment is

 

If your partner is not malefic and have good faith and good intentions and also is smart and does not get influenced or confused then it is best thing in the world.

 

Apart from being malefic, the people who get easily confused or easily influenced are also dangerous..

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If your partner is just a bad person, than i know what you are going through

My Partner is malefic, selfish and much more..

I dont care about her interests and belief at this point. But her malefic intentions, lies and selfishness are killing me every day.

I just so feel life is not worth living..

 

No. I'm on my second.....I now have lost faith in the arrangement. It seems people stop trying after a lifetime commitment has been made. It's only a piece of paper that makes it ten times more difficult to leave.
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Yeah I mean the benefits of getting married vs just being together. There was a major article in the paper here about how expensive weddings are here. Yet my dad is so quick to judge people who don't and especially with a 50% divorce rate. In one it said it costs $50 000. That's a lot of money. I have some savings, but not that much. My boyfriend told me about how his cousin got a loan when he married, acquired debt and eventually divorced. It's scary.

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If you have to ask, it's probably safer not that you not marry. Yet, at least.

 

There are people who are happy remaining in de facto relationships all their lives - their reasoning is that they are committed, monogamous, and together, so they don't need a piece of paper from the government or the church to declare it so. One couple I know has been in a de facto R for 20 years and seem to be happy - that's longer than the majority of marriages! Then there are other people who swear by marriage, because marriage has a special meaning to them (and some countries don't recognize de facto relationships as the legal equivalent of marriage). It's really a personal thing.

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Yes.

 

To put it simply, once you find that person that you truly love...your heart will recognize it and wanting to marry them comes naturally.

 

When you don't, your head will tell you various complex theories/justifications about the disadvantages of getting married.

 

But really, it all depends on the state of mind, beliefs or emotion you are in right now. Some are ok with just companionship. Some are not. So just go with whatever floats your boat.

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CarboniteCammy

It depends on the person or couple, I think. I don't think there's just one blanket answer.

 

If you're asking me whether it has been worth it to get married in my case, I'd have to say, "Yes."

 

There are about a million reasons why I don't think I could have married anyone else and another million reasons why we're such a good fit.

 

This is not to say that we don't have some fights and disagreements.

 

All I can say is that you'll know when the time is right, if it's right, etc. Doubts are normal, like, "How will we pay for this?" "How will we fix this?"

 

But never, "Should I marry this person?" "Is this guy the right one for me?"

 

Just my take.

 

BTW- the tax breaks are pretty sweet and the car insurance dropped. We only paid maybe 2,000 total for the wedding.

 

If anything were to cost money, it would be the divorce as my husband for sure would sue for full custody of the baby and I'd probably end up homeless in a box with my dog. :-P

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Is marriage worth it? If you want to be with the other person then yes.

You cannot guarantee any outcome. You will never be certain what is in the mind or heart of another person.

 

They may SEEM to love and honor you but actually it can all be a lie!

 

On the other hand, they may truly and completely love you.

 

The question, I would suggest, is do YOU love the other person enough to RISK yourself in order to be with them?

 

Is the other person NOT THAT IMPORTANT to you that you would not be with them, rather than risk yourself?

 

You want a guarantee that you won't get hurt? EASY, never bond with another person, NEVER get married.

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