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Old 14th January 2004, 11:50 AM   #1
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Question Simple problem, simple question.

Ok, I read in a magazine the other day that men LIKE it when women put on a few pounds. They like it when a woman isn't so self concious with herself that she is ok to gain a little weight.

First off, is this true?

I have worked SOOOOOO HARD to keep myself at a skinny, toned area. After the holidays, however, I've blimped up a little....I'm softer in some areas. I still thought that I looked good, but I didn't think my husband would think so. After reading that article, I decided that since I think I look good, my husband probably will too.

I put on a pair of short shorts, and a T-shirt to lounge around the house in last night. My husband made burgers. We went to the kitchen to make our sandwiches, and while I was standing at the counter, he came over and rubbed the back of my leg, and said, "Be careful." I thought he was making some kind of pass at me at first, so I smiled, and asked, "Huh?" He said, "Watch those dimples."

This really hurt my feelings! Is there an easy way to ask him not to make such remarks, or should I just help my self-esteem by wearing sweat pants all the time, so my husband won't see me!?
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Old 14th January 2004, 11:52 AM   #2
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By the way, I don't have dimples. I still think I look good, even though I have put on a few pounds. It's like he wants me to look like one of his precious porn models.
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Old 14th January 2004, 11:56 AM   #3
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April...... if your happy.... who cares. the keywords being as long as your happy.... dont let things bother you constantly hes a man for petes sake.... if YOUR happy with YOURSELF.... thats all that matters..... now id be concerned if he made a comment for you to lose the weight.... or something crude but he didnt..... he pet your leg and carressed it..... thats all he did..... dont worry over the little things.... and if it bothers you then you have identified that your not happy but then make it known to him it bothers you..... but i honestly wouldnt worry about it.

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Old 14th January 2004, 11:59 AM   #4
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i would have spat it right back at him! but do tell him it bothers you, my bf totally loved it when i gained 15 pounds, i absolutly loath it!
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Old 14th January 2004, 12:02 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by lostforwords
April...... if your happy.... who cares.
I want my husband to think I'm sexy! Besides, no matter how happy I am with my appearance, if someone tells me that something about myself is unattractive, it's going to bother me. Would it not bother you if the man you loved and wanted more than anyone told you to watch your dimples!?!?!
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Old 14th January 2004, 12:10 PM   #6
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but the point being april.... ive noticed your constantly UNHAPPY with him about a lot of the things he does.... what i may see as a mole hill you see as a mountain.... and i can honestly say for the amount of problems you 2 are having go see a counsellor or at least sit HIM down and tell how unhappy you are..... it almost seems like your looking for the little things to seem bothered by and ive read all of your posts. If your that unhappy with him april then do something about it..... but trust me when i say if your going to sweat over the little things what will you do when major issues come up? and if my boyfriend or husband said to me what yours said.... id laugh it off and say something smart assed back. i dont let comments like that bother me. and im just curious, how old are you? and how long exactly have you 2 been married. You may have said in previous posts however im too lazy to scroll back and dig.
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Old 14th January 2004, 12:18 PM   #7
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I'm 21, and we've been married 9 months.

I just want to know how to nicely tell him to knock it off.
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Old 14th January 2004, 12:23 PM   #8
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Just tell him your self conscience as it is.... and when he makes comments like that, you feel like crap and point out to him you dont do it to him..... thats it.... be forthright.... dont yell it dont be snide about it just say it matter of factly..... and have a snuggle with him so he sees your sincere about it and not wanting to start any drama with him. Good luck
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Old 14th January 2004, 12:34 PM   #9
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April. First of all, be sure that he even means what you think he does. You tend to jump to conclusions. If he does, your only reply should be 'I love you, too'. Say it with irony or sarcasm or a tone that implies that what he just did was unloving and leave it at that.
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Old 14th January 2004, 12:38 PM   #10
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Thanks for the tips y'all

Now that I think about it, I try to never say anything negative about his appearance....why would anyone say something negative about anyone's appearance? It does no good, they're not likely to change, they're more likely to feel insecure
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