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the other woman on my mind

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Old 12th January 2004, 7:36 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 15
the other woman on my mind

Hi guys,
I am going mad! My husband didn't have an affair but was soooo close to having one. what saved him from doing it was he was retrenched and he wasn't allowed to go to the Christmas party. He reckons that that person was telling him she was going to make her advances then.
He told me how things started off with the flirting, then she was starting to get serious and telling him she loved him and telling him she was horny how about it. He led her on to believe things were going to happen ( I don't know if he was going to follow through) basically c***teasing her.
He has had no contact with work or her I definitely know for sure. and I still can't get that thought of him saying and playing those games. I am so deeply hurt and disappointed I thought he was in total love with me and only me. He says he doesn't love her but he wished he could of said goodbye to his friends and her at work.
I am going to go to councelling I know i need it. I have thoughts of going to his old work and seeing what was the attraction. She is 23, slim, bright and bisexual is that the attraction I have been told that.
I in the past 5 years have had 2 of his children had put weight on I need to lose aobut 15kgs.
He said that he thought I didnt love him but he had understand I have his children to lookafter and I am still in mothermode. He met me when I could go out and drink and party but now i just feel my responsiblities lie with my family.

He said that it was a good feeling to be wanted and to have a 23 girl flaunting herself and wanting him and others.
anyway what ar e your views
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Old 12th January 2004, 8:04 PM   #2
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Soon to be back in Cali
Posts: 15
although what your hubby did was wrong, and he shouldn't have done it at all, I can also kind of understand WHY he did it. I think everyone wants to cling on to their youth. Heck I'm only 22 and I'm still wishing I was 16, lol. Plus the idea that someone is attracted to a you immediately makes you feel really good about yourself. I don't think he did what he did in an attempt to hurt you or anything like that. I flirt a lot myself. But that's as far as it gets.

BUT he did hurt you. And his actions were wrong. He needs to not only make it up to you in some way but to do whatever it takes to make sure he doesn't do it again. If he lets himself keep doing things like that then eventually he won't be able to stop himself.

You also mentioned how you're in mother-mode and I totally understand that. But you have to make sure you spend some quality time with your hubby alone from the kids (although that's easier said than done a lot of the time. Babysitters are sometimes hard to come by). If you pay more attention to your children than to him then he's going to feel..well left out. That in itself can make him feeling vulnerable and temptations thrive on vulnerability.

I dunno if what I said made a lot of sense or not. I hope it at least gave you a little bit of help or insight or something.
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