abhi Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 we are married for 18mnths now...from sometime whatever I tell of suggest or opine he dosen't iisten..or if he listens he gets pissed off and tells "i am losing my credibilty"..the same thing his friend suggested and he becomes a hero for suggesting it..what about me?i did suggest the same thing and lost my credibilty?this happened a 3-4 times.Once he got pissed off at me for suggesting something..30 min later his friend is telling the exact same words..and he like "this is the best idea.why didn't I think of it?"...first I kept quiet and but after some 3-4 incidents I got pissed off..what the hell..when I pointed this out to him he started off you always create a problem..blah blah blah! one more thing his 1st wife is laptop,2nd wife is TV, and 3rd and most important of all is his I phone..he is always on iphone..watching YouTube..if I have to speak one sentence I have to shout it out 3 times to get his attention..every time...many times I keep quiet..sometimes I also snap..i don't have the patience to tell evrything 3 times...when I got out this topic he is like I am watching videos..how ill I listen to you..you have to shout out to get my attention and then I will speak..i can't keep asking him to stop watching every time I need to speak to him..and on that if his video is in an interesting phase..he gets irritated that I interrupted in that moment... i get scared to talk to him anymore...either I am losing credibility when I am speaking or I am disturbing his addiction to gadgets... what to do? how do I solve this? I am just taken for granted..she is my wife..she will be fallen at home at my feet no matter what... He himself told this "if I was his girlfriend then he will have the insecurity that she will leave him so he will be careful and now that I am his wife I will be here with him so its okay" what the hell? I am sick and tired...i just want to dissappear... Link to post Share on other sites
JFReyes Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Tell him your frustration to his face with no distractions and a very serious tone that he won't get any other warnings. I wish my gf had done it... Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
oliviaclark Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Try to talk to him when you both are having dinner. First try to explain to him gently about how you feel when such things happen. If it doesn't work, try and be firm. Your tone should be assertive. Do not ever think that you are losing any credibility. There is a quote which says- “If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.” So love yourself. And try to talk to him. Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I have to assume that before you were married you saw hints of the . . . 1st wife - laptop 2nd wife - TV 3rd wife - I phone You're one of many women who are widowed by technology. I know of two marriages that have largely broken up because the husband can't get his house in order and put the gizmos down for 5 minutes to be in a flesh and blood relationship. It seems to be something that's becoming worse over time unfortunately. If he's this bad 18 months into your marriage what makes you think it's ever going to get better? My guess is it will only get worse and he probably only really needs you for social outings and maybe sex occasionally. Link to post Share on other sites
analystfromhell Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 It sounds like there's a lot of anger in you- understandably. He may respond better (if at all) if you can let him know specifically what you need as opposed to being critical of his behavior. Yes- it's his behavior in question here but getting him to change it is often a separate (and opposing) part of having him recognize it. If you speak directly and clearly without leaving anything to question but focus what you say ONLY on what you want from him maybe- just maybe, he'll get it gradually. Please let us know how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
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