Crossing the line

[Hanther]

Two nights ago we had an argument. Basically he did something bad and I freaked out on it (with good reason). Me freaking out made him mad at me. We didn't speak for the rest of the night. I just wanted him to apologize and show me that he was sorry. The next day all I have is a text message from him that seems to show that he isn't sorry. We argue about it for the rest of the day. I ended up sending him an email that was pretty mean. Everything in it was true, but I said it in a way that was very hurtful. To be honest, I intended it that way because most of the time, I feel that the only way to get a response from him is to be somewhat hurtful. Otherwise, he's so stoic.

 

As soon as I sent the email, I immediately sent another one telling him that even though the email lists some real fears I have, I still shouldn't have sent it. But by that time, he had already fired off another one that said "If you don't believe me about xyz, then go f*ck yourself and leave."

 

I couldn't believe he said that. I shouldn't have brought up all this stuff from the past but that was completely out of line. I confronted him about it last night and he still holds firm to what he said. His argument is that it was an if/then statement. So basically he is saying that if I DO believe him, then it's as if he never said it. That is (to me) completely crazy. Because even if I DO doubt him about something, he still shouldn't be telling me to go f*ck myself!

 

My main problem with him (which I said in the email that he hated) is that it takes him forever to admit that he is wrong. He will defend a position/action that is just so CLEARLY wrong and keep on defending it until he knows I won't drop it. Like this comment he made. He still won't apologize for it. I don't understand it. And now, if/when he does apologize for it, I won't be able to take him seriously.

 

That was why he said it in the first place. In my "bad" email I told him that because it takes me pulling is teeth out to apologize for something, when does apologize, it does not seem sincere. That's when he said that if I don't think he's sincere, to go f*ck myself and leave.

 

The part of MY email that got out of line was when I listed all these examples from our past. It was unnecessary. My intention was to give him examples of times that he has refused to admit he was wrong but I was angry when I wrote it and I guess it only came across as an attack rather than what I intended.

 

I'm feeling pretty depressed right now because I don't see how I can forgive him for what he said. Right now, even if he does apologize, I don't know if he really means it. Because he was still defending this crazy statement long after he made it. Where do I go from here?

[whichwayisup]

What exactly did he do? I assume this has to be about another girl.

 

Anyway, he's got an ego going on and you know he doesn't like apologizing until HE feels ready to. So, back off and leave him alone. Let him come to you and say sorry.

 

Though, next time you two have an argument, learn to control your temper and not say mean things or continue to bring stuff up from the past. Maybe the meaness you displayed in the email really upset him and he reacted badly like you did (firing off mean email) and that's why he said go F yourself.

 

You both are reacting with raw emotion and anger. Let things cool down and then when you two talk, set up some boundries! Like, no swearing or name calling, learn to really listen to one another and communicate better without flying off the handle. If one of you feels really angry, take a step back and remove yourself from the situation and talk later. Going at it with gun barrels blazing only causes more anger and strife!

 

You both owe eachother an apology.

[Hanther]

What exactly did he do? I assume this has to be about another girl.

 

Anyway, he's got an ego going on and you know he doesn't like apologizing until HE feels ready to. So, back off and leave him alone. Let him come to you and say sorry.

 

Though, next time you two have an argument, learn to control your temper and not say mean things or continue to bring stuff up from the past. Maybe the meaness you displayed in the email really upset him and he reacted badly like you did (firing off mean email) and that's why he said go F yourself.

 

You both are reacting with raw emotion and anger. Let things cool down and then when you two talk, set up some boundries! Like, no swearing or name calling, learn to really listen to one another and communicate better without flying off the handle. If one of you feels really angry, take a step back and remove yourself from the situation and talk later. Going at it with gun barrels blazing only causes more anger and strife!

 

You both owe eachother an apology.

 

Thanks for the advice. It was really good. And no, it wasn't about another girl. He kicked our dog when we came home and he realized she'd eaten some food off the counter that we'd left out.

[Hanther]

Look at this message, are you here to vent or ask a question ?

If you are here to ask a question, than give some damn facts, so far you have said some general stuff and the most 'focused' thing you have written are the email exchanges from him.

You haven't said a thing about your choice of words, your dynamic with him.

How you try to convince him of his 'wrong ways', or what makes you believe that you are right in your convinctions.

 

Seems to me you just want us to validate your choice, so go ahead honey, the good ppls of the internets are here for you to say ...

 

PS: From reading the OP, you got him mad and now you want to dump him for his choice of words. It could just as well be an attempt by you to backwards rationalize you breaking up with him.

Maybe you wanted to pick a fight with him.

 

PPS: The name of this thread is 'crossing the line' while the entire post is about lack of proper comunication.

Yeah, keep focusing on the 'palpable' reason that your mind needs to break up with him.

What the hell? I don't want to break up with him at all! I don't know where you got this.

 

The story is - He made ME mad by kicking the dog. But he got mad at me for getting mad at him and he never apologized for it. So I sent him an email that brought up a lot of stuff from our past. Shouldn't have done it. But he crossed the line (to me) by telling me to go f*ck myself and leave if I don't believe what he says.

 

My issue is - He says and does crazy stuff sometimes and won't apologize or realize that what he's done or said is crazy/wrong. And many times, we have friends with us that agree that what he said or did was way out of line or inappropriate, so it's not just my opinion here. It takes me harassing the hell out of him before he will admit to what he has done, and by that time, his apology does not seem sincere. His response is that I can get lost if I don't believe his sincerity. I take issue with this. Does this make sense now? Anything I need to clarify?

[findingnemo]

Your SO has a temper problem. Kicking a dog?? Do you have kids? He may kick the kids too if they do something stupid. From your responses so far it seems that you have issue with his actions when he is angry. How many instances are we talking about here? Tell us some of those things in the past that you confronted him about.

 

Regarding his statement to you, it is crossing the line IMO. But I can't tell whether he is acting immature or is abusive. Tells us more about your interaction when he's angry.

[Hanther]

I don't really think this is an anger issue. He rarely gets angry (or rarely lets it show). Maybe that's part of the reason why I sent the email...it was to get some sort of reaction from him since normally he very stoic and seemingly unemotional. I have only ever seen him react in anger a few times during our entire relationship and only this time did it end badly.

 

Anyway, I don't wanna go into too much detail, but basically he has accidentally hurt animals in the past (my bird mainly). He calls it "playing" but he knows he's scaring the animal. He doesn't do it anymore because he has learned that it's wrong but my relationship with my bird has been permanently damaged. He grew up with only a dog, so when he met me he says he didn't know how to interact/play with some of my animals. I brought all that stuff back up in my email. And then there were a few things I brought up that he did either before he met me or soon after we started dating (he once purposefully ran over a possum while I was in the car...I was horrified. He also shot a squirrel in his mom's yard because he believed they were bringing fleas into the yard). I brought all that up too.

 

I also brought up one time in the past where he lied to me for months about something, knowing I knew the truth, just because he refused to admit he was wrong. This is the real issue...he will defend things he MUST know are wrong until he knows I won't drop it. But then I have a hard time believing that he is sincere.

 

I don't think he is abusive. He has never been abusive to me, never lashes out in anger (the dog thing was very strange for him). I'm just starting to think that he has a habit of acting dumber than he is. My friend and I kept telling him last night that he CANNOT be as stupid as he acts sometimes.

 

But my email was pretty hurtful, I will admit. Maybe I shouldn't have brought all that stuff up. I brought most of it up again because I feel like he still defends many of those actions. And I don't see how he can continue to do so. He feels like I was bringing it up just to bash him. That wasn't my intention, but I can see how it came across that way.

 

ETA - Keep in mind that he puts up with a LOT from me and helps me a ton with all my animals. He has gotten much better with them and learned what is appropriate with them and what's not. This isn't really about the animals (something which I did not make clear in the email that I sent him). It's just about the fact that he will say or do something crazy and then continue to back it up, not admitting that he was wrong. I just don't see how someone who is usually so smart and rational can be so stubborn and immature, refusing to see how crazy he is acting!

Edited November 20, 2011 by Hanther

[Hanther]

Another (trivial) example of what I mean. A few weeks ago he and I went with another friend to my restaurant's sister restaurant (where we know all the servers and managers). We got there too late and should not have gone at all (that was my fault, I should have known not to go). So I decided that we should get our food to-go so that we wouldn't keep a server on the clock forever waiting on us. He was, understandably, upset about this because he wanted to enjoy a meal. But he grouched constantly about it while we were in the restaurant. He also bitched at me - while our server was standing only a few tables away - about how I tip too much. He even went so low as to claim (in FRONT of our mutual friend) that I couldn't afford to tip too much because I already was having to borrow money from him for rent (which was a flat-out lie). And even if it were true, it is NOT something that should be said in front of ANYONE.

 

I was pretty hurt by this and later explained to him that it was completely inappropriate. He still doesn't understand why, and claims that he doesn't see the problem. He also would not apologize for talking about tipping in front of our server. He claimed that there is no way he could have heard us talking. (But it turns out that the server DID hear it, because he came into my restaurant a few days ago and asked our mutual friend, who was there that night, why my fiance was "being such a douche.")

 

I don't understand how he can keep defending this stuff! I mean, it's one thing to put in your foot in your mouth. And it's one thing to do something stupid. We all do that. But to keep defending it when it's so plainly wrong? That is stubbornness to the point of stupidity.

Edited November 20, 2011 by Hanther

[angie2443]

You're with an abusive person. kicking the dog, hurting your bird, running over an animal on purpose and humiliating you in public are all forms of cruelty that are done for him to gain control.

 

I'm guessing he is good at confusing you and twisting things around. I'm not going to suggest you leave only because you don't seem to be at that point yet. It would be great if I was wrong.

 

Please, at least read up on the subject so you have a better grasp of what's going on and please, when you do leave, take all of your pets with you. Good luck.

[Avniel]

At the end of the day we all say hurtful things we all get out of hand. Sometimes were wrong and don't know it sometimes were right and think were wrong either way if thats the person you love who cares. My wife called me a jerk face for some reason this annoyed me to the core I became very upset and I told her off....Then a few weeks ago we were laughing about it mocking each other.

 

And a word of advice text messages and emails are not a good way to communicate with one another. Sometimes it allows us to control our emotions and then other times it allows one to say things that they normally wouldn't verbalize.

 

Also why would you pull someone's teeth to get an "I'm sorry." That should be something a person gives freely not to shut someone up.

 

What you should have done was state he was wrong for say "f*** yourself" tell him why he was wrong how it made you feel and then let it go.....If you can't do that then your relationship is going to be stressful, unproductive and eventually will fail.

[Hanther]

You're with an abusive person. kicking the dog, hurting your bird, running over an animal on purpose and humiliating you in public are all forms of cruelty that are done for him to gain control.

 

I'm guessing he is good at confusing you and twisting things around. I'm not going to suggest you leave only because you don't seem to be at that point yet. It would be great if I was wrong.

 

Please, at least read up on the subject so you have a better grasp of what's going on and please, when you do leave, take all of your pets with you. Good luck.

Do you really think so? He never physically hurt the bird. He just scared him and that combined with us having to leave my bird with my grandmother for 2 months while we got a bigger place led to the bird not trusting either of us anymore (but especially hating him). And like I said, kicking the dog is very out of character. He almost NEVER lashes out in anger. I also don't know if it was his intention to humiliate me in public. I think (and have told him) that he just has no idea when to keep his mouth shut. I know you think I am just making up excuses for him. And maybe I am. I just know how sweet and caring of a person he is normally (both to me AND my animals) whereas all you guys know is the bad stuff I am telling you.

 

He is sometimes good at confusing me. There was one time he was lying about something really stupid and unimportant. He kept it up for 2 months, knowing I knew the truth. I have no idea why. He said he thought I would eventually let it go and he would never have to admit the truth. But he finally realized I wouldn't let it go and came clean (and this is still an issue that comes up to this day...which is the ONLY reason I would bring this old stuff back up again). But what got to me was that during the 2 months, he was able to come up with the craziest stories to make me doubt what I really knew to be truth. I know it's called gaslighting. It's the only time he has ever done it that I know of.

 

Cruelty to animals, bed-wetting, and fascination with/lighting of fires is the sociopathic triad.

 

Does he have a history of bed-wetting (as a child?)

 

Does he like to light fires/fascination with fires/explosives/fireworks?

 

Beware.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macdonald_triad

 

This isn't just a problem of having a bad temper or emotional issues w/lack of control.

 

Normal, loving people don't do the stuff that you fiancee does.

 

He strikes me as potentially dangerously violent to humans not just animals, he's a liar, he's controlling, he's abusive.

 

He has given you an invitation to leave the relationship and for your own sake that's exactly what you should do.

 

But you will have to be prepared for him to possibly get violent if you do actually break up with him.

 

I really don't understand why you stayed with him 1) after he hurt your pet bird and certainly when combined with 2) deliberately running over an animal.

 

get out now please

Sociopathic? I really think that is going a bit far. He is a strong guy but he is not the aggressive type at all. He didn't even hit back when some thug punched him in the jaw when we were travelling. I have never seen a violent streak in him at all, with the exception of kicking the dog. And even then, he didn't really hurt her.

 

At the end of the day we all say hurtful things we all get out of hand. Sometimes were wrong and don't know it sometimes were right and think were wrong either way if thats the person you love who cares. My wife called me a jerk face for some reason this annoyed me to the core I became very upset and I told her off....Then a few weeks ago we were laughing about it mocking each other.

 

And a word of advice text messages and emails are not a good way to communicate with one another. Sometimes it allows us to control our emotions and then other times it allows one to say things that they normally wouldn't verbalize.

 

Also why would you pull someone's teeth to get an "I'm sorry." That should be something a person gives freely not to shut someone up.

 

What you should have done was state he was wrong for say "f*** yourself" tell him why he was wrong how it made you feel and then let it go.....If you can't do that then your relationship is going to be stressful, unproductive and eventually will fail.

You're right about emails. Usually we communicate VERY well through email because it allows us time to think and we get to say exactly what we want to say. Whereas in person it gets emotional and hard to think clearly. But this time I think we both fired off things we we wouldn't normally say. Well, he did at least. All the things I sent him in my email are things I have already told him in person. Although in my email I did say it in a pretty cruel way.

 

To the bolded - my problem is that even the night after he said that to me, he was STILL using some crazy twisted logic to justify why it wasn't wrong for him to say that. THAT is what gets to me and what I got so mad about in the first place.

 

EDIT - And by the way, I am truly listening to everything everyone is saying. I am defending him in some areas because I don't want things to be too one-sided. If he came on here and posted all the stuff I have done wrong or all the crap he has to put up with with me and my animals, you'd all probably be telling him to break up with me! So please don't think I am disregarding everything you are saying to stick up for him. That is not the case.

Edited November 20, 2011 by Hanther

[angie2443]

"But what got to me was that during the 2 months, he was able to come up with the craziest stories to make me doubt what I really knew to be truth. "

 

This doesn't suprise me. It doesn't suprise me that you defend him and feel the need to point out that the information you present is one sided (the vast majority of posts here on LS are, by the way). It doesn't suprise me that he can be "sweet" and that you are confused.

 

Abusive people are experts at bieng confusing. It is one way that they gain control. They can be sweet, well spoken, charming and very normal acting for long periods of time. If they were abusive all the time, they would have never have hooked you (general you) and they would be to easy to see through.

 

More experienced abusers prefer not to physically harm their partners. They want to avoid the police. They rely on other tactics, like humuliating someone, telling hurting jokes, or frightening someone and then passing it off as a joke. They are masters at deflecting blame. What they do is not their fault (so they say). They were just raised that way, or you set them off somehow, or you were too passive and "enabled" them. They will always find justification for the harm they cause.

 

Frightening someone or something that can't fight back (a small animal, or a child) is a common technique used among abusive people. Gas lighting is a technique used by all abusive people. Bieng sweet most of the time and then doing something hurtful is part of the gas lighting. It helps keep you in the dark.

 

Just keep your eyes open and learn what you can about how his mind works. Knowledge is what will help you protect yourself and your pets.

[angie2443]

"If he came on here and posted all the stuff I have done wrong or all the crap he has to put up with with me and my animals"

 

Could you give some examples of the "crap" he has to put up with? Is it enough to make a decent person kick a dog or run over an animal?

[Hanther]

Well I mean it's got to be hard when you were raised all your life having one dog and then all of a sudden you live with various sorts of animals that you have never been around before. It doesn't help that the house we are currently in is very small and has no yard so we haven't had the space to take care of them easily. We have bought a bigger house with a yard though. We move in one week so hopefully most of our space-related animal issues will be solved.

 

I am also a lot messier than he is and this combined with having lots of pets has equated to a MUCH messier house than he is used to. When we move, I am going to put a lot of effort into keeping a cleaner house (it'll be easier since the dogs will have a yard). But up until this point, he has definitely been dealing with a lot of crap (both figuratively and literally).

 

Maybe this doesn't seem like a lot to you but it is a lot to deal with on a daily basis. And no, it's not enough to make someone kick or run over an animal. He kicked the dog because he lashed out in anger at her - not his normal MO. The possum he ran over was years ago. According to him, he was raised differently than me and he didn't see the problem with doing this. He says that it is not something he would do after knowing me. In fact, he hit another possum back in March (accidentally this time) and he actually helped me try to raise the nine babies that we found in her pouch (which meant feeding every two hours and it was not easy). So I do believe he has changed in that regard. I shouldn't have brought it up again to him.

 

Thank you for your other post, too. A few things in it ring some bells. Other stuff not so much. I don't really think he tries to humiliate me but then I remember that one of our recent fights was about the fact that he is always telling mutual friends bad stuff about me that I don't want them to know. It always seems like he just doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut. When I confront him about this he says something like "I don't see the big deal, I thought we were supposed to be open." Or "I don't understand why you are so embarrassed." He's also told his parents (even his dad, whom he is not close to at all) all kinds of bad stuff about me/us. When we first got together we went through a lot of crazy stuff and most of it was stuff I'd rather his mom and dad not know about, especially if I am going to be around them for the rest of my life. I have never told my mom anything bad about him, because I know that he has to deal with her for the rest of his life and I would rather not tarnish her view of him in the slightest. I also feel it's a disrespect to his privacy to say things like that, whereas he doesn't agree. So far I have just chalked this up to a different way of thinking.

Edited November 21, 2011 by Hanther

[angie2443]

I read one of your other threads. This man is cruel. Nothing justifies what he has done. It frightens me that this man may someday have children. Have you ever seen an adult take pleasure from terrifying a little child? It is an ugly, ugly thing. This is the type of person this man is. He takes pleasure in hurting you, he takes pleasure in hurting animals (I don't care how he spins it, he hurts animals because he likes to hurt animals) and he will take pleasure in hurting any children he might have in the future.

 

Are you sure it was an accident when he ran over that other possum? He might have done it on purpose but played it like it was an accident. He is good at lying. He is good at acting. He is just plain scary:(

[Hanther]

I read one of your other threads. This man is cruel. Nothing justifies what he has done. It frightens me that this man may someday have children. Have you ever seen an adult take pleasure from terrifying a little child? It is an ugly, ugly thing. This is the type of person this man is. He takes pleasure in hurting you, he takes pleasure in hurting animals (I don't care how he spins it, he hurts animals because he likes to hurt animals) and he will take pleasure in hurting any children he might have in the future.

 

Are you sure it was an accident when he ran over that other possum? He might have done it on purpose but played it like it was an accident. He is good at lying. He is good at acting. He is just plain scary:(

What?? Did you read the whole thread? I think the last page is the most informative. Basically, he is REALLY stubborn. He shouldn't have done what he did (in regards to that particular incident) but I reacted wrongly and just inflamed the whole situation. (I actually think that is what happened the night he kicked the dog, too). I don't think anything in that thread should lead someone to believe that he enjoys hurting animals or children. That would be quite an extrapolation. Like I said, read the last page. I think that is where the most intuitive and helpful responses were. I'm actually glad you brought that thread back to my attention, because re-reading that last page has helped me realize where I went wrong the night he kicked the dog.

 

And yes, I am positive that the second possum was an accident. He even stopped and dragged it off the road so that no one else would hit it (and unknowingly saved the 9 babies).

 

I appreciate the help but I just don't think he is abusive. I did take to heart what you said about knowledge being important and to keep my eyes open. I googled "signs of an emotional abuser" and found this list:

 

Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?

 

Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?

 

Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?

 

Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?

 

Does your partner limit your access to work, money or material resources?

 

Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?

 

Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close?

 

Have you ever felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid an argument about it?

 

Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?

 

Has your partner ever thrown away your belongings, destroyed objects or threatened pets?

 

Are you afraid of your partner?

 

I can only answer a tentative "yes" to three of these questions, and even then, the events that cause me to answer yes have only happened 2 o3 three times throughout the course of our relationship. I always keep my eyes open, but I don't think I have reason to believe that he is, or ever will be, abusive.

 

My recurring problem with him appears to be his stubbornness, which leads to an overreaction on my part because I refuse to "just drop" anything. That is what I came here seeking advice about.

[findingnemo]

Another (trivial) example of what I mean. A few weeks ago he and I went with another friend to my restaurant's sister restaurant (where we know all the servers and managers). We got there too late and should not have gone at all (that was my fault, I should have known not to go). So I decided that we should get our food to-go so that we wouldn't keep a server on the clock forever waiting on us. He was, understandably, upset about this because he wanted to enjoy a meal. But he grouched constantly about it while we were in the restaurant. He also bitched at me - while our server was standing only a few tables away - about how I tip too much. He even went so low as to claim (in FRONT of our mutual friend) that I couldn't afford to tip too much because I already was having to borrow money from him for rent (which was a flat-out lie). And even if it were true, it is NOT something that should be said in front of ANYONE.

 

I was pretty hurt by this and later explained to him that it was completely inappropriate. He still doesn't understand why, and claims that he doesn't see the problem. He also would not apologize for talking about tipping in front of our server. He claimed that there is no way he could have heard us talking. (But it turns out that the server DID hear it, because he came into my restaurant a few days ago and asked our mutual friend, who was there that night, why my fiance was "being such a douche.")

 

I don't understand how he can keep defending this stuff! I mean, it's one thing to put in your foot in your mouth. And it's one thing to do something stupid. We all do that. But to keep defending it when it's so plainly wrong? That is stubbornness to the point of stupidity.

 

Your fiancé is a douche. You're right that he doesn't have anger issues. He is plain abusive mentally and seems able to become physically abusive too. You need to reconsider marrying him instead of trying to change him. Stop arguing with him, forcing him to admit he's at fault and send him to a shrink. He needs help which you can't give him.

[findingnemo]

Double post. Sorry.

Edited November 21, 2011 by findingnemo

[frozensprouts]

you say he kicks your dog, scares your bird, runs over animals, shoots squirrels because they "bring fleas into his yard"(?), etc. The you excuse this behavior.

What excuses will you be making next? What if he "accidentally" hurts you? Will you be making excuses then too?

 

You sound like someone who really likes animals and has always had them i her life and home.You say he hurts animals because he was raised differently and is not used to them.

\Piffle!

 

It sounds more like he is a bully who enjoys picking on things he perceives as being weaker than he is ( I hope the bird gave him a few good bites). Soon that will spread from your pets to you and any kids the two of you may end up having.

 

even if he is not abusive, it sounds as if the two of you have some very different values systems that don't seem to mesh. You may find yourself having to make some pretty big changes.

 

Is he he worth that?

[xxoo]

re-reading that last page has helped me realize where I went wrong the night he kicked the dog.

 

Where you went wrong when he kicked the dog?

 

My recurring problem with him appears to be his stubbornness, which leads to an overreaction on my part because I refuse to "just drop" anything. That is what I came here seeking advice about.

 

The bigger problem isn't that he kicks the dog?

 

Should you have "just dropped" it?

 

He's manipulated this situation to make it look like your fault. He kicked the dog! That is animal abuse!

[angie2443]

 

Otherwise, you're part of the PROBLEM and not the solution - and you're JUST as guilty as this moron is.

 

I understand your anger. At the same time, viewing the victim as part of the problem almost always aids the abuser. It relieves him of some of the responsibility for his actions (in his eyes) and makes the victim feel even weaker.

 

The reality is, if he enjoys hurting the animals, he'll keep doing it. He will become better skilled at hiding it and become better skilled at bringing the OP down without her even knowing it.

 

It's easy for us to see what's going on because we are not bieng manipulated by this man. My guess is that he can come across as very sweet and loving. He is probably very good at making the OP feel like she "drives" him to do certain things. He appears to be very good at getting inside of her head and twisting things around.

[Nikki82]

--I'm throwing out the BS flag!!!--

 

This poster has GOT to be messing with us! That, or she has serious, SERIOUS mental problems.

 

You defend this man...err, boy... that insults you openly. That hits, kicks, and scares animals. That gets angry easily (Yes he DOES have an anger issue, among other issues).

 

If you're for real and you come on here, post all he's done, and then DEFEND him, you're sick. You need to drop your emotions for this loser QUICK.

 

Otherwise, I see an "accidental" black eye, bruises, or broken bones in your future because of this guy.

 

Have some self respect and raise your standards. Good luck.

[Severely Unamused]

--I'm throwing out the BS flag!!!--

 

This poster has GOT to be messing with us! That, or she has serious, SERIOUS mental problems.

 

You defend this man...err, boy... that insults you openly. That hits, kicks, and scares animals. That gets angry easily (Yes he DOES have an anger issue, among other issues).

 

If you're for real and you come on here, post all he's done, and then DEFEND him, you're sick. You need to drop your emotions for this loser QUICK.

 

Otherwise, I see an "accidental" black eye, bruises, or broken bones in your future because of this guy.

 

Have some self respect and raise your standards. Good luck.

 

As a general rule, telling somebody in an abusive relationship that they are in an abusive relationship won't work. Sadly.

 

Have a read OP.

[Nikki82]

Then what does work?

[Severely Unamused]

Then what does work?

 

IME things have to get really bad.