cindy0039 Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 I just had to say this about marriage. It's a wonderful thing! Two people who fall madly in love, spend more and more time getting to know one another, can't see their life without the other person, and decide to make a lifelong commitment to each other. It's a wonderful feeling to know that you have someone who has made this commitment to you before God and all your family and friends. Just to think that I don't have to go through the dating process ever again is very comforting, especially after all the posts I've read on this forum. I won't talk about the hard work a marriage takes or the negatives that sometimes arise from living with the same person day in and day out because plenty of people have done that here. I just wanted to say that there are MANY positive aspects to getting married and staying married. It astounds me how many people apparently weren't listening to the words that were said during their marriage vows. Go back and read them...over and over again. Appreciate what you DO have. Think about how lucky you are to have someone to share your good and bad times with, to form a family with, to sit next to you on the couch and watch tv with you (or whatever), to be next to you in the bed night after night, to comfort you when you need it, to take care of you when you're sick. Personally, I'm grateful for the little things, like having my husband wash my car for me without me asking, putting gas in it when it gets low, fixing things that need fixing around the house, helping me with home-improvement projects like painting, taking care of the yard maintenance, going with me when I walk our dogs, stopping off at the store on his way home from work to pick up a few things we need for dinner. It makes the other little things that are not so positive easy to overlook. I realize that not all marriages are perfect -- and mine's far from perfect -- but nothing in life is perfect. Life (and marriage) is what you make it. Sometimes it takes all you have to give and more, other times you have to be willing to accept what your partner has to give. The more you are able to endure together, the stronger your marriage will become. You have to MAKE it work, not sit back and wait for it to work. Okay, I'm stepping down off my soapbox now. Maybe others could contribute what they think is wonderful about marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
cdn Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Maybe others could contribute what they think is wonderful about marriage. Thanks for inspiring this, Cindy. In no particular order, here are the things I think are wonderful about marriage: - a partner whose values and goals are in line with my own - sharing life's highs with - someone to comfort or be comforted by during life's lows - raising awesome children together - sitting on the couch, drinking eggnog, and looking at our Christmas tree together (and forgetting about the argument over the lights) - cookies in bed late, late at night - being loved and accepted - No, make that loved and treasured for who I am - back and foot rubs - cooking for an appreciative audience - growing old together - getting to really know someone - knowing what he's thinking without him saying a word - someone to pamper me - someone to pamper - great sex whenever I want it :-) - someone who never thinks I don't look good - never having to go on another date - finding my lid Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Maybe others could contribute what they think is wonderful about marriage. Not being alone in anything. Even when we fight and are in separate rooms - we are still together and we feel it. We do things separately, but we are always ONE. Death scares me because it is the only thing that we won't be able to do or go together. No matter what happens in life; good, bad or indifferent - I am only whole with my spouse and I know my spouse feels the same. Miles apart, or when we are with our own friends, or doing things the other doesn't enjoy - we are still connected. We can exist without the other, but we wouldn't be whole. Even when we unintentionally hurt each other - it only hurts because we love each other and realizing that helps healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cindy0039 Posted December 19, 2003 Author Share Posted December 19, 2003 Thanks for the replies. Come on people - aren't there more "happily" married people out there than this? Let's show the positive side of marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
steveb Posted December 19, 2003 Share Posted December 19, 2003 Well, I am happy, but can't think of any statements like yours. You guys covered alot of it. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted December 19, 2003 Share Posted December 19, 2003 sure it's wonderful if your husband doesnt have o/w Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 19, 2003 Share Posted December 19, 2003 Personally, I'm grateful for the little things like him making sure your car is in good running condition when you have to go somewhere far from home, or giving you his last $20 for that trip because he doesn't want you to worry about not having enough money ... or my favorite: climbing out of bed on a cold morning to warm up your car and defrost the windows so that you can stay in bed a little longer. I never thought I'd be married, much less like it, but I can certainly say that I can't imagine going through life without my husband. He laughs at my stupid jokes, he gets silly with me ... he's my friend even when I'm pissed at something he does. It don't get any better than that! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cindy0039 Posted December 19, 2003 Author Share Posted December 19, 2003 So true Quank. It's great to have little inside jokes that only you and he know about and can get silly over. We have four little dogs that are like our second set of kids, now that ours are grown, and we watch everything they do and just think it's the cutest thing in the world, when other people are just shaking their heads and thinking we're crazy for even HAVING four dogs. It's nice to have someone who puts up your eccentricities and gives you unconditional love. Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaSongbird Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 Hey Cindy... I saw this post yesterday and decided to think about it for a day before responding. I've come across some interesting studies about the benefits of marriage. Unilaterally across different cultures, marriage is good for us. Married people are generally happier, healthier, live longer, make more money, manage the money they make better, have lower rates of suicide, depression, illness, accidents and alcoholism. They have sex more often (WOOHOO! Of course, you would think this would just go without saying but there as been bona fide research on this topic). Now, as for the state of my own marriage, as with any marriage, it is far from prefect. But is still wonderful. I'm happy and content with my life and my sweetie. I'm most grateful to him for his loving support and encouragement. When I was thinking about going back to college part time to try and finish my degree, he gently nudged me, boosting my confidence to do it. Since we both work, he picked up the slack at home. He cooks, cleans, and does the laundry. He will make me dinner when I come home late from a class. When I'm sick or not well, he pampers and pets on me, trying to make sure I'm taken care of and he has done what he can to make me comfortable. With his actions, as well as his words, I know I have his support. At Christmas time he goes out his way to make sure I have a good Christmas with thoughtful (not necessarily expensive) gifts. He does this because he knows I do not have good Christmas memories growing up. As adults, my brothers and I stopped celebrating for a long time for various reasons. He is a big reason why I starting celebrating the holiday again. He frets, plans, and generally just all that he can to make sure I have a great Christmas morning. I love him. He loves me. He will be there for me, no matter what. Just knowing I don't have to face anything alone and I have him by my side just makes the world a saner place. Link to post Share on other sites
lovetolearn Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 There are hundreds of reasons I love being married but the main one is that I feel so complete. I realize that sharing my life with my wife and children is really all I need in life. I will probably never be rich or famous but I have something that is way better. I wake up every morning knowing in my heart that I don't need anything else to make me content. I have made a ton of mistakes in the past (This is not my first marriage) and because I'm human I will probably make lots more and I'm not pretending my marriage is easy, Lord knows we've gone through rough times but when all is said and done I can't imagine anything in life being as rewarding as a good family, especially when you have learned to work hard to maintain it. I love being married and could not imagine life being satisfying any other way. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 o, cindy, i loved this post and subsequent responses so much i printed it out...and made me rethink. i am now engaged, by the way. (as of boxing day) i showed it to him a bit after the question i thought was coming, and it was a neat moment. the proposal was mellow, but we can't wait to grow grizzly and mellow together, and we are ready to face the challenge of his family, etc, to get the basic beautiful rewards that you have found. to make sure we're ready, we're going to take all those classes together, financial, marital, social, dancing, etc. anyway, thanks, your post made a real difference in my thinking. i'm kind of embarrassed to post this after all my single girl posts, but i wanted you to know. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 i am now engaged, by the way Wow, Jenny! You'll hate the cliché, but congratulations all the same. I'll be more eloquent when I've actually been awake long enough for brain to kick in. I've been wondering how that all worked out! Great idea to do the classes and all; they are very helpful. You're both bright sparks and, I'm sure, will have plenty of good sense between you to work things out when they arise. Wishing you all happiness Merry Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 [color=violet]YEA, JENNY!!!![/color] yours is a wonderful bit of news to share, and I'm excited for you and your love monkey. After reading the posts after the one I put up there, I realized what Lovetolearn and GaSongbird have posted rings true: marriage makes you realize just how precious that person is, how (s)he completes your life and helps you stay sane when your world seems to be falling down around you. what are the words to the Peter Gabriel song? "In your eyes, I am complete … I see the doorway to a thousand churches …" I think marriage is very much like that. best of luck to the two of you! quank Link to post Share on other sites
Author cindy0039 Posted December 29, 2003 Author Share Posted December 29, 2003 That's great news, Jenny! It sounds like you are truly happy and secure in your decision. Best of luck to you. The hard times make the good times even better. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 Thanks to all for the inspiring words in this post. And good on you Jenny. As one planning to marry my current partner some day, I find the positive words so encouraging. It also makes me realise what I already have, in sharing my home and life and dreams with my man. Link to post Share on other sites
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