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My wife had a big boob job and has changed massively


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Old 26th May 2011, 10:40 AM   #1
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My wife had a big boob job and has changed massively

I've been married to my wife for three years. She has always had an amazing figure and has a very gym honed, slim body, but was always quite shy.

18 months or so ago she met a new group of girls and started going out with them a lot, and over that time i noticed a change in her dress sense, with her dressing more sexily and she became more outgoing. I didnt think much of it because i was pleased she seemed happy with her new friends.

However, in November last year she seemed distant from me and she finally admitted that she was booked in for a boob job in December, and she hadnt told me because she was going up to a very big size and she thought i would be upset.

She had made up her mind and told me she had thought it through, and although when she first went for consultations she was only looking to go up one cup size, she decided she wanted to go as big as she could with her first boob job.

Fast forward six months and she is now fully recovered and she has changed so much. Her friends, which has grown to a large group of girls and guys, want her to go out with them every weekend, and she has everything from hair extensions to the fake tan, fake nails and killer heals and tight dresses. I met her out two weeks ago and she is very well known by all the bouncers and VIP's in all the bars and clubs.

What are people's thoughts on all this? Am i right to be very worried?
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Old 26th May 2011, 10:42 AM   #2
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Sounds like she already received and spent her divorce settlement.
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Old 26th May 2011, 10:46 AM   #3
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You "met her out" at a club?

You two make a habit of going out every weekend without each other?

I have to agree with Carhill; she doesn't sound interested in having a marriage with you (as I understand marriage to be), but then again, you don't see too interested in having a marriage with her, either.

How long did you date, and why did you get married? Have you been happy for the 3 years in the marriage? Do you tend to openly admire very large breasts?
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Old 26th May 2011, 10:46 AM   #4
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Do you really need us to tell you what you already know?
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Old 26th May 2011, 10:52 AM   #5
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I don't admire massively large breasts and i never asked her or put the idea into her head for her to get the boob job.Sorry, just to clarify my comment about meeting her out in a club. I had been working on the saturday and i knew she was out so the only way of seeing her that night was to go and meet her.
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Old 26th May 2011, 11:00 AM   #6
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'You want to enjoy both the security of being married and the freedom of being single'

Sounds a lot like what is being shared here. I'm not seeing much teamwork. There was a point in MC when I said those words to my now exW (different circumstances).

If you don't have kids at home to care for, move into a hotel for a few days and let her know you're 'thinking about things'. Then go silent.
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Old 26th May 2011, 12:54 PM   #7
 
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Something looks very fishy here, Jerry.

She's radically modified her appearance in all ways so as to project an overtly sexual image. Which would be less of a concern if it were for your benefit and for hers, and for the two of you as a couple. But from what you've described, it's for the benefit of the new group of friends, and the places she goes with them.

Very concerning is that these outings you describe almost never seem to involve you. I wonder if she takes her wedding ring off after she's left the house. Or if her "new friends" even know she has a husband.

You should do two things:

1. Start going with her to as many of these outings as you possibly can. Suggest that you do so (without verbally insisting), to see what response you get. Act friendly and upbeat -- "hey, I've been thinking... I'd like to meet these new friends and join you guys when you go out clubbing from now on. How's that sound?" Does she try to dissuade you? Or does she welcome the idea? That should tell you a lot.

2. Start surreptitiously checking her phone when she's in the shower. See if you can check her email and Facebook. You're looking for flirty messages from other guys, and more importantly, if there are any, how she responds to them.

Good luck mang...
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Old 26th May 2011, 12:56 PM   #8
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First, how old are you two and how long did you know each other before you got married?

Sad to say but sounds like she is with the wrong crowd and may slowly be losing her. She obviously wants and craves attention and unless you sit down and figure it out right now with therapy and counseling I don't hold much hope.

I think people above have read between the lines and are trying to blame you for something you have not done. Nothing wrong with other/different friends and being apart 1-2 nights a week, but your spouse is in a haze......

So sorry.
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Old 26th May 2011, 1:09 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by jerrym View Post
However, in November last year she seemed distant from me and she finally admitted that she was booked in for a boob job in December, and she hadnt told me because she was going up to a very big size and she thought i would be upset.

She had made up her mind and told me she had thought it through, and although when she first went for consultations she was only looking to go up one cup size, she decided she wanted to go as big as she could with her first boob job.
You're getting a peak at whats to come. Boob jobs are expensive and that money is combined income; no where near as forgivable as buying a dress without discussing it first.
Next she will decide (without your input) to sleep with someone else and not tell you because she thought (knew) it would upset you. And she sounds like she has impulse control problems with that "wanted to go as big as she could with her FIRST boob job". I do hope you caught that part - it clearly shows she intends to spend more of your combined income on something she will not confer with you over to up her sexual lure.
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Old 26th May 2011, 1:14 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerrym View Post
I've been married to my wife for three years. She has always had an amazing figure and has a very gym honed, slim body, but was always quite shy.

18 months or so ago she met a new group of girls and started going out with them a lot, and over that time i noticed a change in her dress sense, with her dressing more sexily and she became more outgoing. I didnt think much of it because i was pleased she seemed happy with her new friends.

However, in November last year she seemed distant from me and she finally admitted that she was booked in for a boob job in December, and she hadnt told me because she was going up to a very big size and she thought i would be upset.

She had made up her mind and told me she had thought it through, and although when she first went for consultations she was only looking to go up one cup size, she decided she wanted to go as big as she could with her first boob job.

Fast forward six months and she is now fully recovered and she has changed so much. Her friends, which has grown to a large group of girls and guys, want her to go out with them every weekend, and she has everything from hair extensions to the fake tan, fake nails and killer heals and tight dresses. I met her out two weeks ago and she is very well known by all the bouncers and VIP's in all the bars and clubs.

What are people's thoughts on all this? Am i right to be very worried?
This doesn't sound good. Why isn't she involving you in all this??? The fact that she got surgery to better herself wouldn't be bad if she was still involving you in all these things. But here she is not.

It all sounds fishy.
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Old 26th May 2011, 1:18 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by jerrym View Post
she finally admitted that she was booked in for a boob job in December, and she hadnt told me because she was going up to a very big size and she thought i would be upset.
You have bigger problems in your marriage than boobs..

Your wife buys or agrees to buy a big ticket item and alter her appearance and go under the knife all without you knowing about it or how it will be paid for ?

Who was she planning on putting on the surgery forms as her contact person and who was going to take her to the hospital ... one of her friends ?

Are you okay with all of that ?
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Old 26th May 2011, 3:02 PM   #12
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There are big red flags all over your post. You have every reason to be concerned. What people don't say and don't do says as much as what they say and what they do. Here she had major surgery without really asking you for your opinion. She spent a lot of money on major cosmetic surgery without really consulting you. Yes, it's her body and she can make changes to it, but a loving partner would ask you and keep you involved in the decision, not just tell you afterwards like you're just a friend to her. Did you even get to go on any of the pre-surgery visits to the surgeon before the operation?

Why is she undergoing such a radical transformation?

Has anything changed in your lives - a new job? new location? family problems?

What are you doing during these times she goes out with her new friends?

I think reservoirdog's advice to you is great. Do it. Find out how she'll react to you joining her during these outings.
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Old 27th May 2011, 2:59 AM   #13
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You've got BIG problems here.

Your W is selfish, immature, and I'd bet the farm there's alot more than friendly banter and conversation going on when she goes out.

Seek and you will find the truth. Or just keep your head in the sand and hope for the best.
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Old 27th May 2011, 9:20 AM   #14
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You both sound young. Cut your losses now and start anew.

Sounds like she's transforming herself to find herself a bigger fish, KWIM...

If you do have sex with her, make sure to wrap it up.
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Old 27th May 2011, 10:26 AM   #15
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Ahhh, I remember when my boobs were new. What fun we had!

New Boobs can change a woman as far as self esteem or confidence but they should not and do not change your life.
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