divamommy Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 My husband and i got married kind of young (20) We got married pretty much because I got pregnant. He is a sex/ pornography addict that put me thru a living hell for about 5 1/2 years until he finally admitted the problem and started seeking help. We went to therapy for a while and it did help ALOT. he went to a few meetings and insisted he had control enough to not go anymore. I gave him the benefit of the dount but he has had a few relapses since,and has cheated on me dozens of times. He says he is going to go back to meetings but he hasnt. I know i cant force him to grow up or get better. He dosnt even treat me like we are married, we dont go ANYWHERE we havent even had dinner out together in over 2 years, he dosnt ever want to sit with me or hold my hand or even act like a couple. He dosnt help me in the house or with the finances and i feel like a MOTHER instead of a wife. I do love him but i am making changes in my life that will lead to great success, i got a new career and a positive attitude and i cant take anymore of being his mom. We have a 5 year old son and i am not sure at this point if i am staying because of my son or because im scared to be alone. I just dont think he will ever change, and i dont know if i want to waste anymore time waiting. Any advice for a LOVELESS marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 d-i-v-o-r-c-e he cheated? why are you still with this loser? Link to post Share on other sites
Author divamommy Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 I think its because i never knew my father an im terrified that my son will not have a relationship with his. I know im scared to be alone and i just keep thinking that deep down in his heart he WANTS to grow up and be a good husband, and if i leave i may have missed out on it. then i could have had a real family and i would have missed my chance. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 hint: dont post the same topic more than once! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 I think its because i never knew my father an im terrified that my son will not have a relationship with his. I know im scared to be alone and i just keep thinking that deep down in his heart he WANTS to grow up and be a good husband, and if i leave i may have missed out on it. then i could have had a real family and i would have missed my chance. Or, while wasting time on this one, you could be missing out on a great guy who would treat you and your son well. I think the odds are greater that this is the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Faerie Princess Posted November 17, 2003 Share Posted November 17, 2003 I'm a little confused here. What happened to get you to this place? Is he satisified with you? Is he willing to work on your marriage? If you want to have a better relationship with your spouse, you've both got to work at it. You need to see what he's missing and he needs to see what you're missing. You need to be honest with yourselves and each other about alla that. If he is simply not willing to work on your relationship, then I agree, your child will be better off with two (or even one) happy separate people than with unhappy together people. Maybe you need to give him the wake up call. "I'm so unhappy with the state of our marriage and my percieved function in it that I feel I will need to leave it unless there are drastic changes." Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 Something went wrong here and a message for another thread got on this one by mistake - sorry folks! Link to post Share on other sites
lisianthus Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 I totally understand where you are comeing from. I myself am trapped in a loveless marriage that started with a pregnancy. We have been married for almost 10 years and most of the ride has been downhill. We do, do things together only because I pretty much forbid him to go alot of places without me. He cheated on me and had an affair with a younger woman. I kicked him out of the house after that but we ended up deciding to stay together. I think we both did it for our 9yr old. That has been about 4 years ago and it still hurts to think about it. Why do we stay? Its not for the sex thats for sure. Don't get me wrong my husband treats me OK. He has never hit me and he continues to provide for my son and me. If you find the answers to your questions please clue me in. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 Go with the signature quote I use....... Don't be afraid of what you haven't tried. Moimeme is right....what if you are missing out on the love of your life by staying with that AssClown? His paycheck isn't worth your self esteem. Get a job, go to social services for assistance if needed....and make your own path. You may not have big bucks....but you can go to bed each night....with a smile instead of disdain. Link to post Share on other sites
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