is she the one for me

[rapter101]

I have known this girl for many years and we have an age difference of 2 years, shes 22 im 20 and i have been friends with her since we were young and i have grown to know pretty well and she knows alot about me. we are good friends and we have alot of things in common and i have been thinking about taking things to the next level and its also been on her mind.

 

mine and her parents are fine with us moving to the next level as her parents approve of me and same with my parents

 

i care alot about her and i do like her, i see myself going to the next step with her but i dont want to get her hopes high as she has had a proposal from someone else who she has come to know. she has not known the guy as much and things are moving fast with them

 

but if i were to intervene then the chances are she would pick me first.

 

i do not love her as i have not got to know her that well and she is at the same stage as well, but my parents are saying she is right for me and i am hesitant to move to the next step.

 

if i were to not go the next step with her then the chances are i would loose her as a friend and we wouldnt see much of each other or be able to hang out like we do as friends. shes one in a million, she is smart, pretty, intelligent and she a proper conservative person

 

whoever i choose they will most likely end up being my life partner, but whether she is the one i am not sure. my grandma would be delighted and so would the rest of the family.

 

but should i wait for the right person to come along as i believe there is someone out there for everyone, whether she is the one i dont know and i dont know how i feel about her now but i had feelings for her before.

 

will i every find the right person to fall in love with first then to marry or should i take my chance with my friend who i know so much about and i see myself with her in the future years but should i get to know her better and see if i fall for her or should i think because i know her well im likely to fall in love with her.

 

i have never fallen in love before. so what should i do

 

thanks all

[zakfar]

Love is defined as extreme affection for someone. It build up in lot ways. Some people feel that way with first sight, some get this with communication, and some get this with living together and spending time. Some even need sex for that. It is also possible that even after going through all this, someone does not get such feelings for that person at all.

 

Lot of people go for 'Love' for choosing their life partners. I recommend something different.

 

Everyone has some priorities inside their minds that result in that affection for that person. I recommend everyone to find out those 'Priorities' that your mind is acting upon. You need to ask yourself lots of questions. You need to ask yourself the qualities you want to see in your 'Love'. Those questions include everything. Like her physical appearance, and her mentality, and the types of activities you like to see her doing. A huge list can be made up of those. You will need to read up your mind, just like a psychiatrist does. You can write down everything on a piece of paper, or choose to record your voice somewhere. Once you are done, you will better know yourself. Notice that while doing that, you should not have any particular girl in your mind, mainly her. Just try to imagine the kind of girl you want - like your dream/fantasy girl. Your mind should be as open as you can.

 

Once you are done with that, take out that piece of paper and check that out. Now compare it. Whether this girl you are talking about have such qualities, or many of those qualities, you will indeed find out her a good life partner. The thing everyone call 'Love', you will eventually develop. More important that extreme affection (aka love) you will have better understanding between each other. Your mutual understanding will make both of you happy.

 

I hope it helps.

 

Zakfar.

[Lauriebell82]

I think you are too young to be considering who will be "the one" for you. I know people who got married at age 20 and they are getting divorced. That isn't saying that you will, but at a young age you have not matured enough to consider who you want to spend the rest of your life with. I don't think that the girl you chose to date right now will neccessarily be "the one" and I advise you to not go into dating/relationships with that approach. You will most likely date numerous girls before considering who you are going to marry, as should happen.

 

If you like this girl then ask her out, if you don't like her then there are lots more girls out there who you can date until you reach a point where you ARE ready for marriage.

 

And NEVER let your parents/family pressure you into marrying someone. Just because they think she is "the one" doesn't mean you do or should.