jalexy Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 How long did it take dating, to realize you found the one? were you looking for them or did they just show up one day in your life? Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 Who says there only has to be one? Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 well ideally for me, there is? Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 So you're saying there's one perfect person for you in the world? Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenWonder Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 There must be a 'one', in my opinion. Mine just turned up in my life one day. It took me two years to realise they were the one. We were friends before I shared my feelings. However my feelings were reciprocated and its been three years now. Wow hmmm. Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 There must be a 'one', in my opinion. Why? And how would you know such a person exists? Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenWonder Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 It just feels right being with them and everything surrounding your relationship feels right. Also when there is intense chemistry when you're looking at each other. But I believe its in the first exchange of looks. Its all about comfort and just having 'that' feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 I don't believe there is only one person in the world who is a perfect match for me. I think there are many different people who I could get along with quite well in a long term relationship. I mean, with how many people there are in the world, if there is only one, how would you ever find them? What if my "The One" lives in England or Australia? Am I just supposed to hope I meet him during a vacation? Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 Holy crap, she said exactly what I was going to say. Will you stop kicking so much ass? It's throwing me off. It just feels right being with them and everything surrounding your relationship feels right. Also when there is intense chemistry when you're looking at each other. But I believe its in the first exchange of looks. Its all about comfort and just having 'that' feeling. So this notion of "The One" is based on the most capricious, arbitrary and fleeting creations of the human mind - emotion. Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenWonder Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 Emotion is a lot of what its based on apart from the animal instinct. Anyhow...it feels different than anything before. Its so difficult to describe, I know I just feel it inside. I don't know, its such a subjective topic to discuss. Maybe there isn't one person for everyone, but I would like to believe there is. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 Will you stop kicking so much ass? It's throwing me off. It's my amazing Jedi mind trick skills. It just feels right being with them and everything surrounding your relationship feels right. I could say this about nearly every relationship I've been in, since I tend to only get into relationships when I'm feeling it. (Call me crazy!) It's great when you meet a person where everything feels right and the emotions are all there, but I don't think it means that person is the only one out there who you could ever feel that way about. What if your soulmate dies? Are you doomed to never love again? How could it be so possibly convenient for your soulmate to be living in the same city as you, and for you to manage to meet them? The whole soulmate/The One fallacy only succeeds in making it more difficult for people to get over relationships that go bad. They think "Oh, but s/he was The One! I will never in my life feel this way about anyone else ever again!" That's rubbish. I've dated enough to know that the world is full of interesting and wonderful people who I can develop intense feelings for. Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 Have I said "Holy Crap!" yet? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 I think this "the one" myth helps some people stay together. They believe that they're with "the one", and so they don't think of going out and seeking a new interest. Those who realize they WILL feel that way again may be more tempted to look for something new. So the myth isn't all-around harmful, I don't think. As for making it harder to get over relationships, people who believe in "the one" usually also believe in "it's meant to be", and they'll think - 'oh well, if it's meant to be, it'll happen'. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 I could say this about nearly every relationship I've been in, since I tend to only get into relationships when I'm feeling it. Same for me. After all, why would you want to be in a relationship if you didn't think the person was 'the one'? Having said that, if you still feel the same after three years, there's a pretty good chance you'll have long-term success. I don't have the reference handy, but there was a study about relationships which showed that having a positive attitude toward one's partner after three years is a good predictor of relationship success so congrats to ya! Link to post Share on other sites
pitprincess Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 Originally posted by jalexy How long did it take dating, to realize you found the one? were you looking for them or did they just show up one day in your life? I found the one many years ago, but we have went thru so much together, we married as kids and went on together to be married for a very long time. He knew the real me that I didnt know my self or I had let me forget who I was and who he was as well. So many things have happend in our life that we lived thru, lots of pain.sad and happy times together. We have come to be together again after a very hard past few years. He loves me as much as I love him and with the help of God we will stay that way for ever. I hope you find that someone special in your life too. Best of luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 it all depends on what meaning you assign to terms like "the One" and "soulmate" ... my so-called soulmates are my two closest friends who know me better than I know myself and STILL think I'm okay. There's love involved, but not the kind you hear about in a Top 40 song or read about in trashy romance novels. As for "the One," well, I interpret that as "the one who, even if he pisses me off from time to time, or acts like a jerk or a complete idiot, I think is basically all right and I don't mind investing the rest of my life with." Love is good; harmony is better! Link to post Share on other sites
my_mother's_daughter Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 I wouldn't dare purport to speak for everyone, but for many (including myself) the moment you meet "HIM/HER" you just know. I love my man so much sometimes I scare myself, and for me the attraction was instantaneous, when I turned around and looked at him for the first time it was like I had known him before, it's really hard to describe, and I love him more now than ever. Having waxed lyrical however, I have a couple of very good friends for whom love kind of grew, although obviously there was an attraction, it took a few years to realise that this was the person they felt they were *meant* to be with. I suppose what I'm saying is, love falls where it falls, how it falls, when it wants to, and if the question you're really asking is "How do you know you really love someone?" just ask yourself when you're with the someone in question, do you just feel so happy; "just right"? do you dread the thought that you may ever need to live without them? Most of all, do you feel they 'complete' you? Link to post Share on other sites
Gray Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Originally posted by my_mother's_daughter I wouldn't dare purport to speak for everyone, but for many (including myself) the moment you meet "HIM/HER" you just know. I love my man so much sometimes I scare myself, and for me the attraction was instantaneous, when I turned around and looked at him for the first time it was like I had known him before, it's really hard to describe, and I love him more now than ever. Do you ever get that feeling, when you feel sorry for other couples because they can't possibly have the same kind of love you two do? Thats the best. Before I met my current girlfriend I didn't believe in fate, or love at first site, or "the one". But now I believe in all of them. And maybe thats what finding your true love is about. I think defining "the one" as a numeric equation = 1 is simplifying the expression. Its like quantum mechanics. While you're out playing the field, there are probably multiple people who would make you happy. But once you view the situation (find "the one") you realize no one else could make you this happy and this complete. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Originally posted by jalexy How long did it take dating, to realize you found the one? were you looking for them or did they just show up one day in your life? I wasn't looking, but when we met there was "something" there and I flirted shamlessly until he asked me out. We met after work for coffee, talked for several hours, and I knew that same night that he would be the man I marry. Two years later we did get married and we've been together a couple of decades or so now. Link to post Share on other sites
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