Mme. Chaucer Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 My partner's sister is married. Her husband is an adorable kindly teddy bear. I don't know them very deeply - I feel warmly towards both of them but really we only interact at family get-togethers. They are both very responsible with demanding jobs, family matters (aging / failing parents) and many close friends. No kids. In my opinion, alcohol is a problem with this couple. I don't believe THEY think it's a problem, but there is a great deal of drinking to incoherence. Recently, at a gathering, she had two black eyes. She told us how she fell over the vacuum and face planted onto a chair. Last summer they came over and she had a bruise on her face. My SO said he is worried about her. I asked him why, and he said that he thought she was drinking so much that she is a hazard to herself. He told me about another time fairly recently when she had fallen in her home and broken her wrist. No mention of concern about possible abuse, however. I have been in a physically abusive relationship. I feel like I have "radar" for potentially abusive men, and I have had it all my life. I'm even on the lookout for it and could "see" it when it's not even really there, because of my own history. This woman's husband does NOT carry these vibes at all. But, excessive booze can change behavior ... Has anyone ever heard of such injuries happening that were NOT related to abuse? I'm very concerned and uncomfortable, though this couple are not personally very close to me and I don't know what I could do in any case, besides encourage my partner to talk with his sister. Link to post Share on other sites
Maxxx Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Just from my point of view I would have a hard time believing she is getting so drunk she is hurting herself. More like its a case of they both get drunk then he gets mad and ends up knocking her around. I have a family member who has an issue with drinking and have found them passed out on the floor but have yet to see them really hurt them self from being drunk.. IMO he is beating her.... Link to post Share on other sites
crazycatlady Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 My partner's sister is married. Her husband is an adorable kindly teddy bear. I don't know them very deeply - I feel warmly towards both of them but really we only interact at family get-togethers. They are both very responsible with demanding jobs, family matters (aging / failing parents) and many close friends. No kids. In my opinion, alcohol is a problem with this couple. I don't believe THEY think it's a problem, but there is a great deal of drinking to incoherence. Recently, at a gathering, she had two black eyes. She told us how she fell over the vacuum and face planted onto a chair. Last summer they came over and she had a bruise on her face. My SO said he is worried about her. I asked him why, and he said that he thought she was drinking so much that she is a hazard to herself. He told me about another time fairly recently when she had fallen in her home and broken her wrist. No mention of concern about possible abuse, however. I have been in a physically abusive relationship. I feel like I have "radar" for potentially abusive men, and I have had it all my life. I'm even on the lookout for it and could "see" it when it's not even really there, because of my own history. This woman's husband does NOT carry these vibes at all. But, excessive booze can change behavior ... Has anyone ever heard of such injuries happening that were NOT related to abuse? I'm very concerned and uncomfortable, though this couple are not personally very close to me and I don't know what I could do in any case, besides encourage my partner to talk with his sister. I know first hand its possible to break a wrist when drinking. I was drinking scotch - something I don't drink and was not use to and had no idea my limit and then went past my normal limit drinking that much is not my usual habit - a few years ago and managed to break my wrist. Drinking and tripping go hand in hand, you trip, breaking a wrist is a fairly easy thing to do. Soo I can see it. Black eyes on the other hand, not so much. CCL Link to post Share on other sites
txsilkysmoothe Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 I would suspect abuse, also. Not all abusers are easy to identify. I was once married to an alcoholic and abuser. However, business associates saw him as a happy-go-lucky, do anything for you, friendly guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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