Jillwerth Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Hi everyone. My bf told me last week that he wants to get engaged soon! I'm so excited, but at the same time really nervous that he'll pick out a ring I don't love. I'm not sure if I should ask him if I can get involved in the ring process b/c I don't wanna hurt his feelings and make it seem like I don't trust him... Also I know of the site Setherapart and think he would benefit a great deal from looking at it. I don't know how to go about telling him all of this- Any advice would be great. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Find a way to get him into a jewelry store, just for fun. Point out a style you like (or just gaze at it longingly while talking about earrings) and while there ask the jeweler about quality /price comparison. The jeweler will pick up on you. Link to post Share on other sites
gr8adgary Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Congratulations to you and your bf! Getting involved in the ring process would def. be a good idea especially since you seem kind of hesitant to let him do it solo. If you're too sensitive to tell him that you want to help him choose, you should one hundred percent tell him about Setherapart. There are plenty of other women he could watch on the videos on the site and he'll get an understanding of what women want and think when it comes to engagement rings Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 well if he already said he wants to propose i do not think it odd or out of the question to go with him to buy the ring..... lot's of couples do this, and that way everyone is happy! Link to post Share on other sites
toughchoices Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 As a guy I don't object to this at all. Actually it would take some of the pressure off IMHO. I heard a story of one gal who opened the box and basically went ewww! And she made him take the ring back. He is in for a rough ride I am sure. Anyway, I would try to find out the acceptable price range and not be pushing for something out of reach. Nothing crushes a guy's ego more than if he feels he can't be a good provider. Remember the ring is a symbol of love and commitment. Don't want to get too stereotypical but would he let you drop a lot of cash on the new TV and surround sound system without him being involved? I have some very well off friends with huge houses, BMWs, Mercedes, etc, whose wives still wear engagement rings with a little speck of diamond dust because that is all they could afford at the time and it is the most treasured jewelry they own. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 "If you want, I can help pick out the style. If you want to do this on your own, I totally understand! Regardless, love you, baby!:love:" Link to post Share on other sites
gaslater Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Only let him choose the ring by himself if you've always loved everything he's surprised you with thus far. It's a slippery slope letting him do this on his own, unless you completely and entirely trust him…. Though from the sound of your post, you don't. I think you should look on different websites, Setherapart's good. Visit it one day and call him over while you're looking at it to show him all that the site has to offer. The educational videos, the movie and TV clips, the designer gallery videos, etc. That should help... Link to post Share on other sites
glittergalgood Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 That's tough- guys get pretty sensitive about certain things. He's probably really excited to choose a ring for you and surprise you with it. However, he should know that you want to help. It's normally a good idea to make big decisions (like this one) together. Look at sites together and when it looks like he's getting it, maybe tell him you'd like to come with him. It doesn't have to be so intimidating. After all, this is your future life partner, you need to be able to tell him what you want... and what better than to start now? If it's too hard for you to straight out tell him that you want to help him pick out your ring, subtly hint to him exactly what you're looking for in an engagement ring... Hope this helps.;) Link to post Share on other sites
kendolly13 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Just tell him politely that you appreciate his wanting to surprise you with an engagement ring, but that you'd much rather go with him to avoid the possibility of him having to go back to the store to return a ring you didn't like. My husband and I went through the whole process together- we also looked at Setherapart together (you should do the same!) Or maybe what you should do is tell a white lie... explain to him that you don't want him getting ripped off, or getting a bad deal on a ring, and that if you went with him, you would avoid this problem. Just throwing ideas out there! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
smilesson888 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Don't be scared to tell him how you feel. This is the man who's choosing to spend his life with you- he obviously values and respects your opinions and wishes. I would tell him that you'd feel more comfortable getting involved in the process. It could be fun! Getting engaged doesn't have to be the most stressful process. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Jill, Just ask him to go along. And if he has already purchased it...love what the ring says and NOT the ring... Link to post Share on other sites
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