Crystal Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 i have been having alot of anxiety attacks for about a week or so now. come to find out today that i went from being hypothyroid to hyperthyroid, means explains the awful anxiety i've had. i had a job to do on monday but just couldnt make it there due to the anxiety. however i told my fiancee that i went, because i know that he would be upset if i missed a job, cause it means less money and a bad reputation. so i lied to him, and the guy called this other guy and some how it got back to my fiancee that i didnt call the guy back, and now my fiancee is wanting to know why i didnt call him back. so i told hi that i had it handled and dont worry about it.... now he thinks that i just dont really care, that i acted too "nonchalant" about the whole thing. so he thinks that i dont really want to even do my job anymore, which is not true. i was having a very hard time getting out of the house and going anywhere let alone across town to a job. i dont know if i should just come clean and tell him the truth or just let it go and vow not to let it happen again... any suggestions??? Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies. Follow the quote. Tell the truth, it will make things better if you always tell the truth. As I was told before, to lie in order to deceive is worse than murder. Now of course, you can change. Just be sure to tell the truth. It's better of him finding out something as soon as possible from you than him finding out from someone else that you have LIED. I've actually had a problem with lies... I can't even tell them anymore, I feel too guilty... even thinking about it. I now just tell the truth, even if it hurts someone. You should explain to your finacee about your anxiety problems. If you can't talk to him about this, then that is a bigger problem. Let him know! Link to post Share on other sites
Crystal Posted June 21, 2002 Share Posted June 21, 2002 thank you bill for the hope. i feel just awful lying to him and i feel even more awful that i cant tell him the truth... i have made a vow tho to no more lies! it makes me feel horrible too. i want to come clean but am scared what he will think of me lying since i condone lying to him so drastically, then to do it myself, well shame on me! i'm thinking of printing your quote and writing a note then leaving it for him to find on the counter.. maybe that is chicken schmidt but maybe i should just let it go... i feel bad tho...ijust dontknow if i shoud fess up or learn my lesson and ge on with it... Link to post Share on other sites
wunderbug Posted July 1, 2002 Share Posted July 1, 2002 How can there be any question in your mind as to whether you should tell the *truth* to your fiance? Relationships are supposed to be based on, and consist of truth and honesty. Since when it is acceptable to lie to anyone? It never is. It's destructive, disrespectful, cowardly and selfish. How would you feel if your fiance lied to you and you found out about it? NO doubt you'd be devastated and freaking out, right? Why are you even engaged to someone if you feel you must tell lies to them? Nobody forces us to lie, ever. It's a choice we make. What happens the next time your health problems get in the way of something, what will you do then? Continue to lie? I personally would never stay in a relationship with someone who lied to me. If they can't be honest and mature enough to lay the truth out on the table, it really wouldn't be much of a relationship. Do you really honestly have to ask whether you should tell him the truth? If so, that's sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Crystal Posted July 2, 2002 Share Posted July 2, 2002 the reason i had to lie is because he get's mad and does not reallyunderstand half of what i am going through at this time.. do i like to lie? heck no! do i want to lie? absolutely NOT! so why did i then? well because when you dont feel comfortable telling the truth because you know the truth is going to make someone mad then it is very hard to tell the truth. some people just make it easy to tell the truth some people make it impossible to tell the truth.. i agree tho, i would not like it one bit if he lied to me about anything, not to say that he hasnt in the past but i dont know that he does now, he is far from perfect so i'm sure there has been a little white lie or two, dont know about what tho... so that is why i had felt the need to lie, because otherwise he would of been mad that i had not wanted to go... anyway, it is all water under the bridge now.. i didnt go..and he went and he had fun and all is said and done now.. hopefully things will get better and i wont need to lie anymore.. i hate it and i dont feel good about myself about it... thank you for your input! Link to post Share on other sites
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