live-in girlfriend calls from work break, lunch, and break.

[starmap3]

My live in girlfriend of 4.5 years, who has a 12 year old son, calls me everyday, every two hours from work. I was recently terminated from my CAREER job of 6 years and am going through a rough time. She would call again, and again, the same way while I was at work, and I told her then I can';t talk her 3 times a day from work no matter what I am doing. I am also dealing with other personal problems as well that mostly stem from being fired.

 

I have explained to her for over 6 months, in many different ways, that we live together and that she needs to quit calling. She makes me feel like I am blowing her off. We are essentially married in many way with the exception of having a ceremony. She isn;t calling because she doesn;t trust me, she is calling (imo) just to say hello and how's your day going.

 

She'll say "Well why don;t you take a nap", yet calls every two hours, so how can I? I'm feeling smothered and I can;t go 2 hours with a phone call, then she is home as is her son.

 

As I said, I am very depressed right now, and know she means well, but today I told her when she called at break.... when she then said, "i'll call you at lunch". Her son is home sick from school today, which is fine, and why she SAYS she is calling today, but she does this EVERYDAY. Then, she calls him on the landline and he tells me to call her. She wants to me to check if he has a fever and he's 12... he;'s fine. So even when I specifically said, "call him on the landline if you want to know how's he's doing, i don;t want these phone calls every two hours anymore, i can't be any clearer", she STILL called.

 

I don;t want to hurt her feelings, but when I spoke with her at lunchtime, I was like, "what!?" and she acted as if I was a dick. As I said, I am very depressed, going through a rough time... it's the holidays, I have minor legal trouble, I'm struggling financially, and generally feeling worthless. I don;t need counseling, I need to be left alone to ponder, think, and come up with a gameplan for my next move regarding work.

 

Anyway, how... when I have sugar coated it AND specifically asked not to be called... can I get it through to her that it's driving me away from her? There's no time to miss someone when you can;t go more than 2 hours without hearing from them.

 

Thanks for the read and the advice in advance

[Enema]

Have you talked to her about it when you were not on one of these calls?

 

Sit her down face to face with the express purpose of nutting this out. Otherwise, I would not pickup, let her go to messagebank.

[starmap3]

Yes, I've tried that, and I guess that's the only thing left to do is let it go to voice mail. Or... get rid of the cell phone. They are so annoying.

[Anna Comnena]

Why aren't you married?

 

She's got a son.. you've been his father for nearly 1/2 of his "alert" life.

 

 

I'm not meaning to trash you..

 

BUT, you said "live in girlfriend" many times in this post..

Do you view her with the same respect as a wife?

Or, do you just see her as a temporary arrange ment?

 

If you hold her dear as a wife, why aren't you married?