LastChance Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 I'm in desperate need of advice with my situation. My wife and I got married in July of this year, been dating since March of '04. We have been through a lot together in that time and I honest to god love her with everything I have in my heart. Over the period of time that we were dating I began to stop showing her I love her the ways she needed to feel loved. I'm the type of person that shows love by buying gifts, taking her on holidays, and just in general taking care of her. She is the type of person that needs to be shown love by respect - listening to her problems without trying to tell her they aren't a big deal or try to fix them, not doing something when she says not to, etc. We had had many discussions over the years about our mismatched love languages and how she doesn't always feel loved. I would promise to fix it but it never happen. Finally, she says she is done. She has arranged to move into her own place at the end of the month and has decided that she is done with me. I never though it would come to this point and I am shocked. I now realize that I should have tried harder in the past to fix the problems, but I didn't know how. I now know it was because I was denying to myself that I was the problem, and I was lazy to fix it. I am now at the point where I know what I have to do to save my marriage and keep my wife with me, but she doesn't want to give me another chance because she figures I'll just not do it, again. What can I do to convince her I am changed, and will do anything in the world to show her? And I am honestly changed, the last couple weeks have been the worst weeks of my life and I don't want her to feel the same way as I do. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 Ask her to go to MC with you. Tell her how you love her and that you very much want her in your life. What can I say, talk to her!!! Make her feel loved the way SHE needs. It seems strange that she would say she's done after only 3 months of marriage, though. Is something else going on? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 We had had many discussions over the years about our mismatched love languages and how she doesn't always feel loved. I would promise to fix it but it never happen. Finally, she says she is done. How can she be really sure that you will change THIS time???? Sorry to sound harsh...but you deserved this... I don't blame her one bit. There are sooo many wives out there who put up with their lazy or stubborn or abusive husbands for the sake of kids, financial, you name it... that when I see one that stand for herself... I applause her! I'm afraid that there is not much you can do this time.. you had lots and lots of opportunities to solve your problem but never did... you were too lazy (your words). Ask her for one more chance, be honest and serious, but if she doesn't want to.. I say give her back her freedom and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 It seems strange that she would say she's done after only 3 months of marriage, though. Is something else going on? I wonder if you are just waiting for the other shoe to fall. Silktricks is right - 3 months doesn't seem like enough time unless she's got a soft landing picked out somewhere. I fear you may not know (at least at the present time) the whole story... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts