Co-Dependency: Anyone willing to share experiences?

[SunnySideUp]

Since beginning counseling last week and reading a book on co-dependency, I've learned that I am in a co-dependent relationship with my husband, and have realized for the first time that this is the explanation for all our strife and my dissatisfaction of our family/home life.

 

I've been essentially caretaking for my husband (and our 14 month old son with Cerebral Palsy) for over a year now. He started therapy a year ago and very little has changed. Some days/weeks seem ok, like he's getting a grip on his depressiong and he functions very well. These times are short though and he always reverts to his old ways. By "his old ways" I mean his selfish, neglectful, introverted, lazy, escapist self. Some examples of his old ways are when he watches our son he does minimal parenting, feeding/changing and very little interaction; when he does NO housework at all for several days/weeks at a time (he stays home with our son while I work); he eats only once a day (neglects to feed himself regularly); stays online for 8-12 hours per day (not anymore though since I stopped our internet service); and drinks heavily on occasion, neglecting duties and plans that should be taking place the next morning.

 

So far I've put up with it because he was suicidal and I thought I was just helping him through depression, but I'm not sure how depressed he is anymore and know he's no longer suicidal.

 

 

 

Does ANYONE have any similar experiences they're willing to share, or stories of codependency (married or not)?