daterhater Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 I've known my boyfriend for 5 years and have been dating him for 2 years. During this time I have seen 6 of my friends get engaged (and some now married), yet me and my boyfriend have known eachother longer than all of them and we're not even close to being engaged. We get along well except for the occassional fight. He's my best friend. I wonder what makes us different than these couples? They fall so hard in love and just click and want to be together all the time and are confident enough in the relationship early on, that they're comfortable tying the ole knot. Why when I've dated my boyfriend longer than all of them, am I not at this point? Does it mean we aren't compatible? Here's some more info about us in case you need it to help answer the question. -we don't live together, but i'll come and stay at his house twice a week on average. -i've met his family on numerous occassions, but he hasn't met mine because they live 3 hours away. -in the two years together, we've only taken one trip: 2 hours away for his sister's college graduation. i know this is a pretty dumb question, but i'm just curious why my friends know 100% without a doubt that they want to spend the rest of their lives with their boyfriend/fiance in such little time when I STILL can't say that. He's a great guy, but I'd have too much doubt committing myself at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
justpassingthrough Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 There's nothing wrong with not jumping right into marriage. And I think you see that yourself - while wondering why you aren't yet married, you know you aren't in a position to commit to marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 Why when I've dated my boyfriend longer than all of them, am I not at this point? Does it mean we aren't compatible? I'm confused - you've been dating your boyfriend for two years? And all your friends met, dated, engaged and married quicker than that? You run in a fast crowd ! Two years dating is not an excessive amount of time to get to know someone and make that big marriage decision. Anything less could be characterised as rushing in to it. I also wonder if you didn't answer your own question. Your friends: "fall so hard in love and just click and want to be together all the time and are confident enough in the relationship early on, that they're comfortable tying the ole knot." You: "I have too much doubt committing myself at this point" Pretty big difference... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author daterhater Posted June 26, 2007 Author Share Posted June 26, 2007 to go from not knowing eachother to dating to engaged in a year does seem a bit fast, but what if i would do things that quickly as well if i were with a different guy? i wish i wanted my boyfriend to propose to me, but i don't. i am not sure if it's because i'm afraid there could be someone better better suited for me or because i'm just not at that point in my life. when we first started dating, i thought we connected really well and wanted to get married to him. it almost seems the more we're together, the less ready i am to commit. and yet he's a wonderful, caring guy. hmmm.... and is it wrong to want one last fling before i DO get married? jk? Link to post Share on other sites
corazoncito Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 1) No one ever really knows what goes on between a couple except the two individuals in that couple. And even then there are two independent points of view. Don't assume that because your friends are getting married that means they are either happy (or unhappy). You don't know what their relationship is like in private. You are the best judge of what is right for you. 2) Honestly, if you think he's a great guy, but you're no longer sure you want to marry him and the idea of a fling is crossing your mind, that's a big sign this isn't the relationship for you. Thoughts like that were what convinced me to call off an engagement I had with someone I had dated for 5 years and it was the one of the best decisions I have made, for the both of us. I feel both relieved and happy and my ex-fiance got married since we broke up and seems really happy too. Link to post Share on other sites
4whatItsWorth Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 it almost seems the more we're together, the less ready i am to commit. and yet he's a wonderful, caring guy. hmmm.... and is it wrong to want one last fling before i DO get married? jk? Answer to last statement: Yes, if you intend to fling while stringing another guy along. It really sounds like you are more friends than lovers, the way you describe him. It doesn't sound like he will be the one you'll marry. It's up to you if you want to stay in a relationship for another few years, or break up and go seek someone who will make you go 'WOW...I could spend the rest of my life with this guy, I really could.' Link to post Share on other sites
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