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Are You Marriage Material?


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I was thinking about the phrase "marriage material" and what makes one good marriage material vs. bad marriage material. I'll post my thoughts on this. Feel free to add your own.

 

You're marriage material if:

 

*You don't have to be right all the time.

 

*You're not overly insecure (I mean we ALL are to a degree but if you need constant reassurances about your SO's whereabouts or you're constantly putting your SO on the defensive with statements like "Why didn't you text, call, send out a smoke signal?") This is a biggie because very often this kind of thing is also a sign of a very controlling person.

 

*You're not argumentative. Can you walk away and say "lets agree to disagree this time, honey"? Or do you have to keep it going and going and going?

 

*You never use name-calling and put-downs in an argument (or at any other time.) And you NEVER resort to physical violence.

 

*You can negotiate with your SO.

 

*You can use your sense of humor to de-escalate a potential argument.

 

*You know how to show appreciation (in words and deeds).

 

*You're not too intense and can go with the flow.

 

*Your expectations are realistic. (I mean your SO is not going to ALWAYS be there in the EXACT way you want them to be.) How do you deal with disappointment? Do you sulk and pout and pick fights when you haven't gotten your way? Do you try to put the other person down to make yourself feel better? Then you're not marriage material. Keep it REAL!

 

*You have goals and a plan to achieve those goals.

 

*You can strike a balance between giving and taking. You don't let it become too one-sided in either direction.

 

*You can stand on your own feet and have demonstrated that you can support yourself, pay your own bills and can handle money.

 

Well, that's all I can think of now having only had half a cup of coffee. Feel free to add your own thoughts as to what you think makes a person marriage material.

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However, I think that we are good marriage material for some...bad for others. It's more about how two people...who remain who they actually are...are able to honestly interact without changing themselves. Unfortunately, with the chemicals swirling around during courtship it usually doesn't work that way.

 

Don't get me wrong, everything that Touche has written above is correct but it doesn't always work well that way because there are some really screwed up people out there...probably LOTS of them. I'm not at all criticizing what Touche has written...and wouldn't it be wonderful if we could find a situation like she describes?

 

What Touche wrote, which was excellent, and my response:

 

*You don't have to be right all the time. That's not an issue with somebody who doesn't listen, doesn't care or who is wrong all the time.

 

*You're not overly insecure (I mean we ALL are to a degree but if you need constant reassurances about your SO's whereabouts or you're constantly putting your SO on the defensive with statements like "Why didn't you text, call, send out a smoke signal?") This is a biggie because very often this kind of thing is also a sign of a very controlling person. That's not an issue with somebody who needs someone who is insecure in order to feel secure. This happens every second of everyday.

 

*You're not argumentative. Can you walk away and say "lets agree to disagree this time, honey"? Or do you have to keep it going and going and going? Doesn't work in a relationship that is only stimulated by arguments. Sometimes that's the only passion. I've known people who argued everyday and stayed married for 40 years.

 

*You never use name-calling and put-downs in an argument (or at any other time.) And you NEVER resort to physical violence. This is very correct but unfortunately some people like to be abused and feel right at home with hit. Most, I think, have no idea they will get the crap beat out of them after they get married (in the cases where that happens). No sane person would marry an abuser...but how many people are sane?

 

*You can negotiate with your SO. You can usually pull this off in the courting stage but how do you tell if a person will negotiate later? If there is even ONE issue where the person has stated there's no negotiation, then they have shown they can be nonnegotiable on other issues.

 

*You can use your sense of humor to de-escalate a potential argument. This is always great but people tend to completely lose their sense of humor during this time...unless they are trying to use their humor to totally avoid discussing an issue that needs to be talked about.

*You know how to show appreciation (in words and deeds). Geeze, wouldn't this be great. Most people don't show appreciation in everyday life. We live in an age of entitlement. If it happens before marriage, just how do you predict if it will continue once the person gets used to you and starts taking things for granted. I mean this may happen in heaven...I hope!

 

*You're not too intense and can go with the flow. There are certainly a lot of people who can do this but lots who are this way if the flow is going their way. That's what sucks so much about courting. Most people will only go with the flow if they like the flow after marriage.

 

*Your expectations are realistic. (I mean your SO is not going to ALWAYS be there in the EXACT way you want them to be.) How do you deal with disappointment? Do you sulk and pout and pick fights when you haven't gotten your way? Do you try to put the other person down to make yourself feel better? Then you're not marriage material. Keep it REAL!

You know, this is really a good topic. First, most people have extremely unrealistic expectations of other people, which is highly irrational. Most would argue they have a right to expect a certain level of behavior of their spouses. Well, good for them. But you can't control other humans. Again, MOST people...because of the chemically induced stupor they're in...will act like perfect Gods for most of the courting period...and when they don't the other person just doesn't want to take it in consideration as a predictor of the future because they want the relationship to work so badly.

 

*You have goals and a plan to achieve those goals. Have to say yes to that. But if you expect that people won't change their minds, trouble ahead. Goals change constantly and if you hang you hat on the goals of another person your hat's gonna fall to the floor in a great many cases.

 

*You can strike a balance between giving and taking. You don't let it become one-sided in either direction. Gawd, I love this one. In utopia this very well may happen. But so many times marriage becomes a very one sided deal. Yep, it may be give and take in the beginning but usually in a relationship there's a giver and a taker. Many times those work out extremely well because the giver loves to give and gets pleasure from that...and the taker loves to take. But that gets old after while for the giver and the taker usually gets very vicious when the giver slows down a bit.

 

*You can stand on your own feet and have demonstrated that you can support yourself, pay your own bills and can handle money. This is great when it happens...and then comes baby, emergencies, mom and dad in a nursing home, etc., and then the woman has to suddenly depend lots more on hubby...and finds out at that time he's a selfish bastard. He's been great to get along with for so long before the needs came but once she begins looking for help, he's on vacation at the South Pole.

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I would like to say yes but I doubt that I could be married to a woman other than my wife. If I never met her I probably would have never remarried so I am only marriage material for one woman.

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I think being good relationship/marriage material requires a healthy amount of emotional maturity.

 

You can’t be someone who is restless or bores easily. If you consider routine a rut ... equate predictable and settled with boring ... consider responsibility a chore ... need constant drama in order to keep you feeling excited and stimulated about your partner ... think that being “in love” is all about lust, butterflies and weak knees --- Than you’re not ready for the long-term relationship/marriage thing.

 

Being a good relationship/marriage partner also requires a good amount of selflessness and teamwork. That you’re at a place in your life where you are willing think, act and make decisions that benefit the relationship as a whole, rather than the self or individual. That you are ready and proud to include your partner in ALL areas of you life without feeling as if you’re sacrificing your unique individuality. That you consider your partner your best friend and ‘equal,’ and confide, welcome, and respect their input and feedback on the important decisions that you make. It also requires that you consider your partner’s feelings and well-being to be as important as your own. That you not knowing or deliberately do things or say things that you know will injure them. Even if you think it’s non consequential ... or “what they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

 

And being good relationship material requires that you not “demand” that someone love you or trust you unconditionally. Rather it requires a willingness to do whatever it takes on a consistent basis to show your partner that you are someone they can depend on, trust, and feel “safe” with.

 

I think that being good relationship/marriage material requires someone who is more into “doing” than “wanting.”

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However, I think that we are good marriage material for some...bad for others. It's more about how two people...who remain who they actually are...are able to honestly interact without changing themselves. Unfortunately, with the chemicals swirling around during courtship it usually doesn't work that way.

 

I don't completely agree with this, Tony. I think as we get older, we ARE able to honestly interact without changing who we are. Chemicals or no. I think you put too much stock into that whole chemical/courtship period thing. You really can keep your eyes open and your wits about you even during that lovestruck stage.

Don't get me wrong, everything that Touche has written above is correct but it doesn't always work well that way because there are some really screwed up people out there...probably LOTS of them. I'm not at all criticizing what Touche has written...and wouldn't it be wonderful if we could find a situation like she describes?

 

What Touche wrote, which was excellent, and my response:

 

*You don't have to be right all the time. That's not an issue with somebody who doesn't listen, doesn't care or who is wrong all the time.

 

Then run the other way if you encounter such a person. Why would anyone stay with someone such as you describe above. Chemicals? No. That's clearly someone to steer clear off

 

*You're not overly insecure (I mean we ALL are to a degree but if you need constant reassurances about your SO's whereabouts or you're constantly putting your SO on the defensive with statements like "Why didn't you text, call, send out a smoke signal?") This is a biggie because very often this kind of thing is also a sign of a very controlling person. That's not an issue with somebody who needs someone who is insecure in order to feel secure. This happens every second of everyday.

 

People who need people who are insecure should reevaluate that then. They're not marriage material...I mean the people who need insecure people aren't marriage material.

*You're not argumentative. Can you walk away and say "lets agree to disagree this time, honey"? Or do you have to keep it going and going and going? Doesn't work in a relationship that is only stimulated by arguments. Sometimes that's the only passion. I've known people who argued everyday and stayed married for 40 years.

 

My own grandparents, married over 60 years were like that. But they were miserable with each other. If that's what fuels a couple's passion, they should re-evaluate marriage and/or the relationship.

*You never use name-calling and put-downs in an argument (or at any other time.) And you NEVER resort to physical violence. This is very correct but unfortunately some people like to be abused and feel right at home with hit. Most, I think, have no idea they will get the crap beat out of them after they get married (in the cases where that happens). No sane person would marry an abuser...but how many people are sane?

 

Those who are fine with being abused are NOT marriage material either. You have to be mentally healthy or it won't work. As to your other point, I'm sorry but I don't agree that most don't know that they'll get the crap beaten out of them after marriage. The signs are almost ALWAYS there. I guarantee it. And you're right that most of us are not sane but there are degrees of insanity. Marriage is not for the truly insane (i.e. those who like to be abused for one.)

 

*You can negotiate with your SO. You can usually pull this off in the courting stage but how do you tell if a person will negotiate later? If there is even ONE issue where the person has stated there's no negotiation, then they have shown they can be nonnegotiable on other issues.

 

[I]Again, the signs are really all there before marriage. Also, look at that person's past history in this regard. Everyone should discuss what issues are non-negotiable BEFORE marriage. The less surprises there are, the better the chance that the marriage will survive and succeed.[/i]

 

*You can use your sense of humor to de-escalate a potential argument. This is always great but people tend to completely lose their sense of humor during this time...unless they are trying to use their humor to totally avoid discussing an issue that needs to be talked about.

 

[I]Again, I GUARANTEE that you can determine this before you take that big step and marry the person. The signs/past history all are there if we open our eyes.[/i]

 

*You know how to show appreciation (in words and deeds). Geeze, wouldn't this be great. Most people don't show appreciation in everyday life. We live in an age of entitlement. If it happens before marriage, just how do you predict if it will continue once the person gets used to you and starts taking things for granted. I mean this may happen in heaven...I hope!

 

[/i]

I]See how they treat family/friends. You'll know. You really can predict this in most cases. It's just a matter of opening up our eyes. And not ignoring what's in front of us.[

*You're not too intense and can go with the flow. There are certainly a lot of people who can do this but lots who are this way if the flow is going their way. That's what sucks so much about courting. Most people will only go with the flow if they like the flow after marriage.

 

[I]How does the person handle dissapointment at work, with family with friends? Good indicator there. Again, don't ignore the signs that are already there. Most of us don't act one way with co-workers, friends, family, etc. and a completely different way with our SOs. [/i]

 

*Your expectations are realistic. (I mean your SO is not going to ALWAYS be there in the EXACT way you want them to be.) How do you deal with disappointment? Do you sulk and pout and pick fights when you haven't gotten your way? Do you try to put the other person down to make yourself feel better? Then you're not marriage material. Keep it REAL!

You know, this is really a good topic. First, most people have extremely unrealistic expectations of other people, which is highly irrational. Most would argue they have a right to expect a certain level of behavior of their spouses. Well, good for them. But you can't control other humans. Again, MOST people...because of the chemically induced stupor they're in...will act like perfect Gods for most of the courting period...and when they don't the other person just doesn't want to take it in consideration as a predictor of the future because they want the relationship to work so badly.

 

[I]COMPLETELY agree with that last statement. So true. And that's where most people run into a problem in their relationships. They ignore everything that was there in front of them all along. People don't just suddenly change 180 degrees after marriage. It's all there for you to see BEFORE marriage. I wish more people would pay attention to stuff like what I've brought up. There'd be fewer divorces and fewer broken hearts and dreams.[/i]

 

*You have goals and a plan to achieve those goals. Have to say yes to that. But if you expect that people won't change their minds, trouble ahead. Goals change constantly and if you hang you hat on the goals of another person your hat's gonna fall to the floor in a great many cases.

 

Of course. And no one should hang on to someone else's goals. And this is where how you handle disappointment also comes in..going with the flow. I just think it's an important quality to even HAVE goals..even if you don't always achieve all of them.

*You can strike a balance between giving and taking. You don't let it become one-sided in either direction. Gawd, I love this one. In utopia this very well may happen. But so many times marriage becomes a very one sided deal. Yep, it may be give and take in the beginning but usually in a relationship there's a giver and a taker. Many times those work out extremely well because the giver loves to give and gets pleasure from that...and the taker loves to take. But that gets old after while for the giver and the taker usually gets very vicious when the giver slows down a bit.

 

I think it's sad how some people talk about "utopia" and "heaven" regarding some of these very reasonable qualities to expect in a person. I mean not EVERYONE is so screwed up out there. And yes, one person is usually the giver and one the taker. But I'm saying that we shouldn't let it become TOO much one way or the other. I can give examples of this in my own marriage but I'll save that maybe for some other thread.

*You can stand on your own feet and have demonstrated that you can support yourself, pay your own bills and can handle money. This is great when it happens...and then comes baby, emergencies, mom and dad in a nursing home, etc., and then the woman has to suddenly depend lots more on hubby...and finds out at that time he's a selfish bastard. He's been great to get along with for so long before the needs came but once she begins looking for help, he's on vacation at the South Pole.

 

Nah...that's rarely how it really goes. I sound like a broken record but the signs are there..always.

 

Glad you liked my thread topic, Tony. So is that why you ripped it to shreds? Sheesh, what do you do when you DON'T like a topic? :laugh::lmao::laugh::laugh:

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Excellent post, Enigma. You really brought home some important points. Emotional maturity, yes. And how many of us acquire that before the age of 30? Not too many. Some of us never do. But that's why I strongly, STRONGLY caution against marriage before the age of 30.

 

Of course there ARE exceptions. There are people very emotionally mature who are still in their 20's. I've even seen that on this board. But they're the exception to the rule.

 

Anyway, great post Enigma. Thanks.

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I was thinking about the phrase "marriage material" and what makes one good marriage material vs. bad marriage material. I'll post my thoughts on this. Feel free to add your own.

 

Honestly I don't know because it varies from couple to couple. What some people would consider a negative thing, other's may not. I'm assuming we could say what WE consider "marriage material" for us as an individual, but not as a solid checklist.

 

There isn't a "marriage material" handbook. I wish there was because half the time I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm basically winging it and using others who I see as "marriage material" as roll models of what and what not to do. And even then they might not be "marriage material." However one has been together for over 25 years and another for over 50...so they must be doing something right or just staying together out of spite.

 

I guess the main characteristic that I've experienced who isn't "marriage material" is abusers (physical, emotions, drugs, etc...). Also being selfish, stubborn, and wanting a one-way relationship. Those I have seen and are not "marriage material" for me and I hope for others as well.

 

After reading some of these points, I do agree but I think it's going to come down to the other person as well. Both people have to I guess "mesh."

I think being good relationship/marriage material requires a healthy amount of emotional maturity.

 

Yes I agree. Nothing like being with someone who isn't mature.

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Honestly I don't know because it varies from couple to couple. What some people would consider a negative thing, other's may not. I'm assuming we could say what WE consider "marriage material" for us as an individual, but not as a solid checklist.

 

There isn't a "marriage material" handbook. I wish there was because half the time I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm basically winging it and using others who I see as "marriage material" as roll models of what and what not to do. And even then they might not be "marriage material." However one has been together for over 25 years and another for over 50...so they must be doing something right or just staying together out of spite.

 

I guess the main characteristic that I've experienced who isn't "marriage material" is abusers (physical, emotions, drugs, etc...). Also being selfish, stubborn, and wanting a one-way relationship. Those I have seen and are not "marriage material" for me and I hope for others as well.

 

After reading some of these points, I do agree but I think it's going to come down to the other person as well. Both people have to I guess "mesh."

 

 

Yes I agree. Nothing like being with someone who isn't mature.

 

Ha! The bolded part above made me laugh. I think my grandparents were like that. It's sad. Sixty years of torturing each other yet when my grandfather died my grandmother told me that she walks around the condo talking to him all day as if he was still there. I never understood how they lasted that long with each other. Maybe there was more love underneath all the bickering that I saw.

 

You made some really good points though ipanca. Two people can be disfunctional in their own ways but if their disfunctions are compatable, it works. I've said that before. It's so true.

 

I mean I certainly am not everyone's cup of tea yet I found one man who "gets" me, loves me and brings out my best (well most of the time:laugh:) And that's all one can ask for in this life.

 

It saddens me to see so many who can't find that. I think people make one of two mistakes primarily. They either don't think enough (meaning they ignore the signs I always talk about) or they OVER-think things and over analyze everything. We must be able to strike a balance there. I really think that's key.

 

I also think it's important to give new types of people a chance. I mean I had this stupid idea that I didn't want to marry a southern man (this, while living in the south!)...we have to be flexible and open or we might inadvertently by-pass the right person. I also said I'd never date a man with kids. I broke that "rule" of mine too.

 

Another thing is negativity. It's just not conducive to finding the right mate. If you're always expecting the other shoe to drop, it's just not good. But I guess that goes with my thoughts on OVER thinking and over analyzing.

 

Ok, I've rambled on enough. Thanks for your thoughts on this. I'd love to hear more.

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Good topic Touche and there is way too much to comment on, so I will keep it simple and say that going by what you wrote, I more then qualify for marriage material.:) Just by going by what I know about some people on here, they are also qualified as well.

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I'm definitely marriage material :cool:

 

You and Rid are cute..hell I'd marry either one of you!:laugh:

 

And yes, Rid. I think there are lots of good LSers who are marriage material. They just haven't found the right one yet. Of course I also see those who are doomed unless they change some things about themselves. But we won't go there. I want this to be a positive thread that hopefully helps in some way.

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You and Rid are cute..hell I'd marry either one of you!:laugh:

 

And yes, Rid. I think there are lots of good LSers who are marriage material. They just haven't found the right one yet. Of course I also see those who are doomed unless they change some things about themselves. But we won't go there. I want this to be a positive thread that hopefully helps in some way.

 

If polygamy was legal here, I would marry both of you.:laugh: Well I guess we could always live in Utah.

 

Yeah lets keep this positive, but I know what you mean.;)

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If polygamy was legal here, I would marry both of you.:laugh: Well I guess we could always live in Utah.

 

Yeah lets keep this positive, but I know what you mean.;)

 

Ha ha...very funny. I don't know if your g/f would like you having two other wives. You'd be putting out some REAL fires then!:laugh:

 

And frankly, I don't get how those people do that. I mean there's enough drama and negotiation going on sometimes in a marriage with ONE person! Can you imagine the drama in those marriages?

 

"No, Betty you had him last night, it's MY turn you selfish *&)*. Now go churn the butter!":laugh:

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Ha ha...very funny. I don't know if your g/f would like you having two other wives. You'd be putting out some REAL fires then!:laugh:

 

And frankly, I don't get how those people do that. I mean there's enough drama and negotiation going on sometimes in a marriage with ONE person! Can you imagine the drama in those marriages?

 

"No, Betty you had him last night, it's MY turn you selfish *&)*. Now go churn the butter!":laugh:

 

My GF would come first and foremost, but I'll ask her how she would feel about me having three wives.:cool:

 

I'm sure that those marriages would not have much drama. I mean if a woman agrees to that, then she must be pretty submissive to begin with or she just doesn't value a marriage like the rest of us do, so I don't see her having much of a backbone and standing up for herself.

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My GF would come first and foremost, but I'll ask her how she would feel about me having three wives.:cool:

 

I'm sure that those marriages would not have much drama. I mean if a woman agrees to that, then she must be pretty submissive to begin with or she just doesn't value a marriage like the rest of us do, so I don't see her having much of a backbone and standing up for herself.

 

That's so true. Every now and then you'll see one who has broken away, in an interview and it's true. They were weak and very submissive. I never believe the ones who say they're ok with it. I mean come on! But we're off topic.

 

So anyone else have any thoughts on what makes a person marriage material?

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I think I'm marriage material to some women and not marriage material to others.

 

It really is all in what the person is looking for and if they match the wants and needs of the other person.

That is waht makes you marriage material IMO.

 

The older I get the fatter my wallet gets so I might be more of a type of marriage material to some today that 15 years ago I wasn't..

as well as the opposite is also true where I am less of marriage material to some today than 15 years ago..

 

Also the older I get the wiser I become strictly by age/experience means that the door is open to more people that might consider me marriage material..

 

Lastly..

 

I know myself very well.. and a person that knows themselves very well and works on their shortcomings becomes a better fit for marriage every day as well as becomes someone who would be involved in a long lasting marriage.

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Ha! The bolded part above made me laugh. I think my grandparents were like that. It's sad. Sixty years of torturing each other yet when my grandfather died my grandmother told me that she walks around the condo talking to him all day as if he was still there. I never understood how they lasted that long with each other. Maybe there was more love underneath all the bickering that I saw.

 

My grandparents are the same way. There's love, balance, and spite rolled into one. They can be the worst couple in everyway but yet their perfect for each other. I actually love their relationship because it's so simple.

 

For them I think it comes down to being comfortable, enjoying each other's company, and going with the flow. Maybe that's what happends when you get older. All that stuff people complain about daily on here and elsewhere, doesn't really matter when it comes right down to it.

 

We must be able to strike a balance there. I really think that's key.

 

Balance is a must. Like I said it can't be one-sided because I find it hard for the relationship to survive even though some are. But then again, maybe that works for them.

 

Thanks by the way. I'm kind of winging this LOL!!

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So anyone else have any thoughts on what makes a person marriage material?

 

I think that in order to be marriage material people first need to address/work on any mental or emotional issues that can make them act out in irrational way. For example all mental disorders, addictions.....

 

I think the way i worded this sounds weird and insensitive but I don't know how to explain myself better :confused:

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I think I'm marriage material to some women and not marriage material to others.

 

It really is all in what the person is looking for and if they match the wants and needs of the other person.

That is waht makes you marriage material IMO.

 

The older I get the fatter my wallet gets so I might be more of a type of marriage material to some today that 15 years ago I wasn't..

as well as the opposite is also true where I am less of marriage material to some today than 15 years ago..

 

Also the older I get the wiser I become strictly by age/experience means that the door is open to more people that might consider me marriage material..

 

Lastly..

 

I know myself very well.. and a person that knows themselves very well and works on their shortcomings becomes a better fit for marriage every day as well as becomes someone who would be involved in a long lasting marriage.

 

 

Very good points, AC. Knowing oneself is important as far as being good marriage material. As for the wallet? Hmm...doesn't hurt to have a fat one (stop it..we're talking wallets now:p) but in and of itself it doesn't mean much to the right woman.

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I think that in order to be marriage material people first need to address/work on any mental or emotional issues that can make them act out in irrational way. For example all mental disorders, addictions.....

 

I think the way i worded this sounds weird and insensitive but I don't know how to explain myself better :confused:

 

It's true but even so...two people with the right dynamics going on can make it work even with those issues.

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Very good points, AC. Knowing oneself is important as far as being good marriage material. As for the wallet? Hmm...doesn't hurt to have a fat one (stop it..we're talking wallets now:p) but in and of itself it doesn't mean much to the right woman.

 

Well... the fat wallet happens to be fatter today because of all those stupid plastic cards that the grocery store make you carry.. :laugh:

 

I remember times in my life when I wasn't marriage material but thought I was and didn't realize it till years later..

I also remember a period in my 20's-30's that I worked too many hours and had my priorities all messed up and I remember thinking that I needed to cut that out if I was to be a good husband and father..

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My grandparents are the same way. There's love, balance, and spite rolled into one. They can be the worst couple in everyway but yet their perfect for each other. I actually love their relationship because it's so simple.

 

For them I think it comes down to being comfortable, enjoying each other's company, and going with the flow. Maybe that's what happends when you get older. All that stuff people complain about daily on here and elsewhere, doesn't really matter when it comes right down to it.

 

 

 

Balance is a must. Like I said it can't be one-sided because I find it hard for the relationship to survive even though some are. But then again, maybe that works for them.

 

Thanks by the way. I'm kind of winging this LOL!!

 

You're winging it? We're ALL winging it in this life, IP. I mean it's true. Hell, I'm no smarter than anyone else. I got a little wiser in my old age and I just plain got lucky. It can happen to anyone. But we need to be open to it first.

 

And I hear you on that simple relationship your grandparents have. I really think sometimes we complicate things unnecessarily. I see this all the time. I had to grow out of the "drama" phase myself. So I know.

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Well... the fat wallet happens to be fatter today because of all those stupid plastic cards that the grocery store make you carry.. :laugh:

 

I remember times in my life when I wasn't marriage material but thought I was and didn't realize it till years later..

I also remember a period in my 20's-30's that I worked too many hours and had my priorities all messed up and I remember thinking that I needed to cut that out if I was to be a good husband and father..

 

Ha ha! yeah, the plastic..i know..discount card for the drug store, supermarkets, etc. etc. ugh.

 

Yes, about the priorities. I'm sure your words will make some people think. You never can get that time back again.

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........................ never mind.

 

Say whatever you want, MB. It's ok. Actually I saw what you said before you deleted it. And stop it. You ARE worthy of marriage. You just have to believe in yourself. You'll get there.

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