No Love No Argument What Do You Do?

[Guest]

For all the men and women on this board I have a question as a man:

You are married to your wife. It turned out she does not understand what love is. She just does not seem to have any sense of "love". Yes, perhaps she just does not love you. However she does not have love for anyone else either. The worse thing is, she is good tempered and never argue with you, never make trouble. She cooks and does the regular housework that a wife does. But she never would touch you in an affectionate way, kiss you or even say some warm words to make you feel loved. She's just like a machine, so to speak for want of words. And the worst thing of all?

 

She is to a large extent dependent on you. As a husband, you also do all your reponsibilities, you also are good tempered, never argue etc. But you long for love. You want to be loved and have someone to love. Neither of you love the other, but neither hate the other either. So the difference is here: love to you is important, but not to her. She's fully content with life as is. But you, with all the peace and convenience that you have in this 'normal' life, feel a terrible, terrible emptieness inside: you are lonely when you are with your wife. You only feel not lonely when you go to work, be among friends, relatives and coworkers. When you go home where your only company is your wife, you are terribly lonely and bored. She, however, does not sense this at all. She's somehow 'numb' in this respect.

 

What would you do if you were in this situation? Appreciate your feedback.

[Till-Andy]

Well, first of all I'd ask myself why you (it's you, ok?) did marry her, did not notice this fact before marrying her. Did she fake affection or what?

On the other hand I am aware that - whatever the answer may be - it would not help anything. She is like that and basta.

As with every problem the answer only can be: love it, change it or leave it. Change it must however be put in brackets, as you certainly cannot change your wife. Love it? Scarceley. Remains leave it.

Dont want to? Reckon about change it again. Maybe while you cannot change her you can change your situation by getting what you need from another girl. Not good? I'm running our of ideas.

[Trialbyfire]

Have you discussed this issue with her? If you don't express your needs, no one can ever hope to meet them.

[whichwayisup]

If I were in your shoes, I would talk to my wife and also make a doctor's appointment to see if she's got a medical reason for feeling the way she does. (Thyroid, depression, etc...) I would also talk to her about going to marriage counselling to make life better as a couple.

[Mr. Lucky]

If I were in your shoes, I would talk to my wife and also make a doctor's appointment to see if she's got a medical reason for feeling the way she does. (Thyroid, depression, etc...) I would also talk to her about going to marriage counselling to make life better as a couple.

I agree. What you describe sounds awful for you...but equally bad for her. Seems like you are making an bunch of assumptions about how she really feels inside - I'd bet you'd be surprised to find out the truth...

 

Mr. Lucky