Hindsight1 Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Hi! Last fall I had an intense and deep relationship with a girl that lives 500km away from me. Our relationship based on communication and conversation. Before we had ever met f2f, we had 3-hour long phone marathons and shared really trustworthy information. Our first date f2f couldn't have been better and we really loved the company of each other. We started to travel a lot between our cities, she met my parents, we went to Europe together, etc. Unfortunately, my mental health wasn't right at that time, and she had a hard time to cope with that. I noticed that she was a little worried about my condition and I started to panic that I will lose her. Of course when you start to panic about losing someone, eventually you will. Our relationship lasted 4 months, but it truly was the best relationship I have ever had. I tried to win her back a couple of months after our breakup, but I was still too unsure about myself, and it just pushed her to move away from me. We kept a month off without any communication and after that, we have occasionally sent SMSs, we have met a couple of times this year and sometimes we have had telephone conversations. Usually, I have been the one that calls or send the first message. Usually, our communication is quite friendly, romantic communication has been off. What has changed recently is that my ex has started to be the one that opens communication. I have reduced my openers because obviously, I have still feelings for her and I want to find out if she keeps connecting me if I reduce my openers. This has "worked", so she still might have feelings for me. The problem is that in the past I have misjudged her, and I'm unsure am I in the friendzone or does she still have romantic feelings for me. We will meet next month so I am unsure should I play it cool or should I tell about my feelings? If I play it cool and show that I have "moved forward" maybe she could be more interested, what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 How long has it been & how much has your mental heath improved? If the things that broke you up have been corrected then telling her how you feel is a good plan. Understand if she is only about friendship now, once you confess the friendship has to cool off too because it would be cruel of her to stay your friend when you want more. You'd just be an orbiter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hindsight1 Posted April 21, 2019 Author Share Posted April 21, 2019 How long has it been & how much has your mental heath improved? If the things that broke you up have been corrected then telling her how you feel is a good plan. Understand if she is only about friendship now, once you confess the friendship has to cool off too because it would be cruel of her to stay your friend when you want more. You'd just be an orbiter. It has been four months since I told about my feelings for her. After that, I have been reserved for my true feelings, our conversations are about other topics than romance or anything about relationships. What I know, she hasn't dated anyone since we broke up. The reason why I'm thinking that she might have feelings for me is that she is making up topics to talk if I'm not contacting her often. Could be that she just wants my attention, but how can I tell? My mental health is improving and I have sought help. I started therapy and it has helped a lot. Still, I have a tendency for depression and anxiety and that is not going to change. She has her own problems and I accept them, so I hope she can accept my weaknesses. The reason why I'm worried about timing is that is this too soon? Should I wait and limit my openers, so she would start to worry about losing me? I don't want to be just friends, not with her. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Why do you need to tell her anything? Why not just let things develop naturally? Besides, she knows how you feel about her. Just see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
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