How long is too long

[Jenmac]

I got together with my man it will be 2 years in sept. He is 8 hours drive away. Has his own house and 2 boys 19 and 15. He has said from the start he will

Move up but yet it hasn’t happened. He works fifo and dido so I only get to see him 5 nights a month if that. He did take 5 weeks over xmas and stay with me.

 

I am thinking by 2 year anniversary I should say something? We are both divorced I had an abusive marriage so am scared to rock the boat. Also have 10 and 7 year old so it’s worked for them to get to know him gradually. But I’m feeling like I want more.... it is so hard.

 

Any advice would be so appreciated.

[d0nnivain]

I would not expect him to move until the 15 year old graduates. It's hard to be uprooted in HS. Your kids are younger. Why don't you move?

[chillii]

Yeah but he'd want and need more to , but it was always gonna be complicated with the kids and take time.

l'd give it more time if you truly love each other, at least you have that and each other even if from a far a lot of the time until the day. But yeah by all means talk about it and the future and whatnot.

Edited April 7, 2019 by chillii

[preraph]

I agree it's about the 15 year old. He's not going to (and can't unless he's widowed and has sole custody - law prohibits it) move with the boys and uproot them. You've got a long wait, and meanwhile, he could be dating other women. He may not want to move away from the boys even after they're in college either -- and these days college is often done right there at home, so I would say it's unlikely this thing is going to happen.

[snowcones]

The move is probably not gonna happen (at least not until his youngest is out of the house).

 

But it's nice to fantasize about.

[Jenmac]

I would not expect him to move until the 15 year old graduates. It's hard to be uprooted in HS. Your kids are younger. Why don't you move?

 

I have hundred percent care of my 3 kids and in our country I can’t move them without court. Despite this I’ve offered to move and he has said no he has always wanted to live where I am.

 

His 15 year old lives a lot with the mother and stays with my ex when he is home. The 19 Year old lives in his house and pays $50 a week.he works full time.

[d0nnivain]

Still I don't think he'll move 8 hours away from his kids until the 15 year old is in university.

[justwhoiam]

How long is too long? No timespan is too long, if you really love the man. But that also has to do with your patience, endurance level, etc.

 

In your shoes, I'd be more worried about the fact that he might be seeing other women in the meantime. What's your relationship with his children like? If it's non-existent, then I guess you have the answer, and you shouldn't overlook reality, rather face it.